Transformation coach Lynn Serafinn shares life experiences with fear and its impact upon her health, and tells us about Luis Diaz’s new course on releasing fear.

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A few months ago, I wrote an article for my volunteer Transition Town group in which I shared my thoughts upon the link between oil dependency, disconnection, fear and suffering:

Our dependency upon oil has made us disconnected from the Earth and the ultimate Source of Creation in just so many ways. Most of us in “developed” nations (an irony) don’t grow our own food and have become dependent upon big businesses and mass transport (i.e., supermarkets, trucking, air freight) for the very basics that keep us alive. In the past, all we were dependent upon was the weather for our “daily bread”. But nowadays, we are dependent not only upon the ever-changing weather patterns, but also upon oil, global economies, foreign policy and corporations. What a vulnerable place in which to be! And to me, as someone who works with people and their emotions on a daily basis in my work as a life coach and teacher, I know the emotional and physical impact of long-term vulnerability. People begin to feel helpless. Helplessness leads to fear. Fear leads to depression and even disease. It can also lead to violence and crime.

While these words were originally written to support my observations about the connection between oil dependency and our wellbeing at a societal level, on a very personal level I have witnessed over and over again how feelings of helplessness lead to fear, and how fear ultimately leads to depression, disease and overall unhappiness.

I grew up in a fear-riddled household in which it felt like the roof was going to explode at any given minute. I was educated in a fear-driven parochial school where beating children (and in front of their peers) was still the norm. Later, I went on to enter a violent marriage and stayed there for 22 years, continually walking on eggshells, fearful of the next outbreak of rage. My lifelong relationship with fear had caused me to become so disconnected I didn’t even realise I had suffered multiple cases of whiplash as a result of abuse (I was diagnosed years later), which still case health issues today. It is small wonder that by the age of 40, I was diagnosed with a case of fibromyalgia so severe I felt like I was 80 years old. When my rheumatologist told me there was no cure or treatment, I broke down into a flood of uncontrollable tears at the thought of living for the rest of my life in such extreme, constant pain.

Fear is arguably the most primordial emotion of all living beings, and for human beings, I believe it is at the root of many other emotions such as anger, shame, sadness, uncertainty of self and chronic anxiety. Without a doubt, it has profound effects upon both our physical and spiritual wellbeing.

For me, I discovered the link between fear and health after I left my marriage, and started to notice that my fibromyalgia, by which I had been seriously impaired for 7 or 8 years, was vanishing day by day, until it was completely gone. I also noticed that I no longer suffered from heart palpitations, night-time panic attacks, severe digestive disorders and relentless back problems.

To give a complete comparison, these days my back problems still flare up from time to time, which is understandable after more than 20 decades of physical violence. But while, in the past, these problems were my constant companion every day of the year, nowadays I have a minor flare up once every year or two, and my body is able to heal after a single osteopathic treatment. In the past, when my life was overwhelmed with fear and anger, my body was so resistant to healing I would typically have to go to the chiropractor two or three days every week for years and the spasms and pain never totally stopped.

Looking back upon my experiences, I am 100% convinced that fear, and all the chemical and neurological by-products of it, had been deeply lodged in the very cells of my body for many decades. And I cannot tell you how lucky I feel that I finally woke up one day back in 2002 and started my long process of healing. I fumbled my way through it and discovered these things as I went along. It took me about 6 years to heal from fear fully, and believe me I really WORKED at it very hard, with personal development training (including my coaching training) coming out of my ears.

In other words, I did it the “hard way”: on my own, not sure of where I was headed, and taking years to get there.

That’s why, when I met my client (and now good friend) Luis Angel Diaz, and he told me about the work that he does, I was extremely enthusiastic.

Luis is arguably one of the world’s foremost authorities on emotional healing, and has been a holistic health practitioner since his early 20s with qualifications in dozens of traditional and holistic therapies. Those of you who have followed my work will also recognise him as the author of the international #1 best-seller Memory in the Cells: how to change behavioral patterns and release the pain body. He is also the founder of a technique called “Cellular Memory Release” (CMR). Over the years he has worked with thousands of clients at his three successful practices in Argentina and California, helping them transform their long-term pain and illness into aliveness and joy.

The goal of Luis’s work is basically to take people from where I was back in 1995 to where I am today—without going it on their own, or taking years to get there, like I did. The CMR process is a teachable process where people learn how to identify their emotions, experience them fully and release them, so they can make room for the self-healing their bodies already know how to do naturally.

I’ve done several online events with Luis over the past few months, and I am delighted to be able to invite him back to my radio show this week on Blog Talk Radio:

Transforming Fear with Luis Angel Diaz

On Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul

@BlogTalkRadio
Wednesday December 1st
6pm UK / 1pm EST / 10am Pacific
Listen LIVE or catch the replay at:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn/2010/12/01/ep88-transforming-fear-with-luis-angel-diaz

I hope you’ll tune in. You can even ask Luis questions live on the air via the chat room, Skype or by calling in on the phone at 646-727-3449 (US Number).

And then, for those of you who want take this process further, I do encourage you to check out Luis’s 2-session course that starts next week:

Releasing Toxic Emotions from Our Bodies

How to Transform FEAR into Inner Peace, Joy and Wellbeing

Tuesday Dec 7 and Tuesday Dec 14
PLUS full forum support

http://tinyurl.com/fear-dec2010
This course normally costs $197
But this December ONLY
Luis is offering it at the discount price of only $157

AND if you tune into the show today (or listen to the audio replay before Friday), you’ll find out how you can apply for one of 20 $100 scholarships he will be giving away to attend this course for only $97. Tune into the show for full details, or check out the registration page above for more info.

Hope you’ll be joining us on the show!

Wishing you a lifetime connection, wellbeing and joy,
Lynn

About Lynn Serafinn, Creator of Spirit Authors

Lynn Serafinn is a transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced several top-10 book campaigns, including FOUR #1-sellers, in 2010 alone. She created Spirit Authors to offer training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. Contact Lynn about YOUR book project at at http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular book writing and promotion tips (just fill in form at right of your screen).

Sign up for Lynn’s bi-monthly newsletter Creative Spirit (fill in form below) packed with inspirational articles, online networking tips, broadcast guide to her radio show, and news about upcoming spiritual author book releases.

Throughout the year, Lynn also hosts large-scale telesummits with world-class speakers on a range of mind-body-spirit topics. Your subscription to Creative Spirit will ensure you’ll be the first to know how to attend these free events.

Lynn

“One of the main causes of suffering is the lack of Emotional Education.” ~ Luis Angel Diaz

Every living entity experiences pain in their lives. But what exactly is pain? Why do we have it? How does it affect us? How can we overcome the distress it causes?

The term “Pain Body” is a term you might have read in many of today’s popular books on physical, emotional and spiritual healing. Most notably, world renowned spiritual author and teacher Eckhart Tolle uses the term in his classic books The Power of Now and A New Earth. But in spite of the widespread use of the term, very few people know exactly what the “Pain Body” is. Even fewer know how we can release its grip upon us.

International bestselling author and holistic healer Luis Angel Diaz has been working with pain for more than 20 years, and has developed a technique called “Pain Body Release” (PBR), which is part of his extensive system of healing called “Cellular Memory Release” (CMR). On Tuesday November 30th, you have the opportunity to attend a FREE online class from Luis:

“Self Healing and Transformation through Pain Body Release”
FREE webinar

Tuesday, November 30, 2010
12 noon PST / 3 pm Eastern / 8pm UK
90 minutes Taught by Luis Angel Diaz
holistic healer and author of the international #1 bestseller
Memory in the Cells:
how to change behavorial patte
rns and release the pain body

Hosted by Lynn Serafinn, the Spirit Authors Coach

Register FREE at http://tinyurl.com/selfhealingNov30

If you cannot attend the live event, register anyway.
You will be able to download the audio after the event is over

On this free webinar, Luis will discuss the Pain Body and introduce you to the basics of Pain Body Release, so you can learn the answers to these questions:

• How does the Pain Body affect our lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually?
• How can we liberate ourselves from self-destructive behavioral patterns?
• How can we overcome fear and anxiety?
• What is the Pain Body Release (PBR) process and what can it bring us?
• How can we access the Joy Body within us?

I hope you will join us for this informative 90-minute class, so you can find out how to begin the process of releasing pain from your body, mind and heart.

Again, you can register FREE at http://tinyurl.com/selfhealingNov30

See you there!

About Lynn Serafinn, Creator of Spirit Authors

Lynn Serafinn is a transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced several top-10 book campaigns, including FOUR #1-sellers, in 2010 alone. She created Spirit Authors to offer training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. Contact Lynn about YOUR book project at at http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular book writing and promotion tips (just fill in form at right of your screen).

Sign up for Lynn’s bi-monthly newsletter Creative Spirit (fill in form below) packed with inspirational articles, online networking tips, broadcast guide to her radio show, and news about upcoming spiritual author book releases.

Throughout the year, Lynn also hosts large-scale telesummits with world-class speakers on a range of mind-body-spirit topics. Your subscription to Creative Spirit will ensure you’ll be the first to know how to attend these free events.

Lynn explores the many ways our inner fears contribute to our stopping short of unbridled Joy in our lives.

PICTURED LEFT: photo of an actual wooden “stairway to heaven” ascending more than 50 metres, used by the famous “Voladores de Papantla” in Central America, whose breathtaking annual springtime “flying” ritual is famous worldwide.

A few years ago, I enrolled on a mega-personal-development course where I had to complete a series of physical challenges, many involving heights. One of the first challenges was to climb up to a balance beam about 25 feet high and walk across it–blindfolded. Of course, there was absolutely no danger involved, as all of us had secure harnesses attached to our bodies, with a team of strong people ensuring our safety at all times. But the ego-mind is very good at creating its own messages, even if your logical brain knows you are perfectly safe. And what is so interesting is that the messages it creates might not have anything whatsoever to do with the current situation. In all likelihood, you might find yourself replaying some very old “tapes” in your head that you might not even have thought of for years.

And that is precisely what happened to me. As I got close to the top of the pole I was climbing to get up to the balance beam, I suddenly froze. There was no way I could bring myself to make those few last steps to stand up on that beam.

Why?

Because all I could think of when faced with the prospect of walking across that 25-foot high plank of wood were images of me in 10th Grade, as I wobbled fearfully along a 3-foot high balance beam in my P.E. class, and the teacher made fun of me in front of the class saying, “Serafinn, you’re fat and you’re useless. Can’t you do anything?”

And as I replayed that mouldy, old tape (which I hadn’t even realised I still carried with me), the voices in my head said, You have NEVER been able to walk across a balance beam in the past, and you will NEVER walk across this one either. Your body is fat and useless. Don’t’ even think about this. Get OUT now!

Totally “triggered” by this inner drama, an overwhelming sense of panic, shame and sheer terror made me freeze. I simply couldn’t move. I shouted down to my course leader, “No, no, I can’t do this. I know I can’t. I’m bailing. I need to get down NOW.” And immediately I let go of the pole and sailed down to the ground on my guide ropes (even letting go was a challenge). When I landed, my entire body shook uncontrollably from the adrenaline flooding my every muscle. My legs collapsed under me and my hands were in intense pain from all the stress hormones.

My hands shaking the whole time, I took out my journal and wrote for a few minutes, exploring my flurry of emotions around this strange experience. But later, when I returned to watch some of the others on the course, I noticed that many people started out scared to death, but became elated when they got on top of, and eventually across, the beam. As I watched, I saw they were actually enjoying themselves in spite of–or maybe even because of–the fear.

My sense of “shame” and “failure” made me angry–at myself. I realised I had convinced myself I would fail, and had deprived myself of the elation others were experiencing when they had gone past their own limits.

I harnessed this anger as I approached the next challenge–climbing now a 30-foot telephone pole to the top. It looked REALLY high! But this time, I was not going to stop. I growled with anger. I shouted. I grunted. I swore. I told myself I WILL make it to the top. I will. I will. I will.

And after overcoming a few obstacles here and there along the way, I climbed just high enough to touch the “cookie” on the top of the pole. I was really happy, and felt so proud of myself.

But then, my course leader called up to me and said, “That’s great, Lynn! So, what do you want to do now?

“Now?” I asked. “But I’ve already reached the top. What do you mean?”

“Well, would you like to stand on TOP of the pole too?”

In my head, I was saying, What? On top? You want me to stand up on top of a 10-inch diameter surface 30 feet in the air? Are you kidding?

But what I replied was, “Uh, no thanks, I’m happy enough with this.” And I took a moment to hug the pole, which had carried me to the top.

I came down feeling really proud of myself. After all, I hadn’t bailed out of the challenge. But in spite of feeling happy, I noticed I didn’t feel that real rush of elation I saw others express who did choose to stand atop the pole and free-fall down to earth (on the guide ropes, of course).

After meditating upon this, I began to understand that the thing that had stopped me short of that elation was my perspective. I had viewed climbing onto the top of the pole as a danger that threatened my happiness; I didn’t want to ruin my happiness by trying something so risky. But actually, the Universe was offering me the opportunity to experience more joy. But I chose not to receive it– for the moment.

Fortunately, I had the chance to stretch my limits one last time a few months later. This time, the challenge was a 35-foot high tightrope walk! But this wasn’t just a solo walk. I had to synchronise my walk with a partner who was walking on another rope a fair distance across from me, using a balancing pole.

Well, let me tell you, every single step I took climbing up to the tightrope made my heart POUND with sheer terror! But by this time, I had finally learned how to stop, acknowledge the fear, wait a moment, and continue. When I finally stepped onto the tightrope, I was completely and utterly thrilled. I had never actually STOOD so high up before, what to speak of being on a narrow, unstable wire, and working with a partner to boot!

Every step we took together was a sheer (terrifying) joy.

But then, when we got just past the halfway mark, one of my feet slipped off the wire, and for safety reasons I was instructed to let go of the pole and glide back down to the ground.

As I touched down, I felt, at long last, the rush, the elation, the sheer ecstatic JOY I had previously only witnessed in others. My partner and I were jumping up and down and hugging each other, delighted that we had survived the challenge without quitting, even if we hadn’t made it all the way across. I was buzzing. I was alive. I was so pleased with myself for mastering the art of walking WITH fear instead of fighting against it.

But then, our course leader came over to us and asked, “You two were the first in the group to do this activity, and other people have learned from watching what you did. Would you like another chance to try it again later?”

And do you know what my brain said?

It said, What if you go up and you cannot get past your fear this time? Then, it will take away all the joy you are experiencing now. No, don’t do it again. You don’t need to finish the task. You have enough joy for now.

Enough joy??

That was 3 years ago, and a heck of a lot about me has changed since then.

Looking back on it now, I can see that while I definitely had made some major breakthroughs during that whole process, what I had not yet fully learned was the depth of my own willingness to accept less than the very best for myself. I seemed to be satisfied with overcoming my obstacles, rather than being passionately desirous of true, unfettered joy. And this was not limited to physical challenges–it actually entered into every aspect of my life: from career and financial success, to health, to love, to fun, to spiritual fulfilment.

And I as looked around me, I saw I was not the only one.

Everywhere I looked, I could see people living lives in which they felt “happy enough” by:

• Focussing on getting out of financial hardship versus wanting to create genuine wealth
• Focussing on overcoming physical ailments versus wanting to create true health and vitality
• Focussing on resolving conflict versus wanting to create true intimacy
• Focussing on “making a living” versus wanting to create a lasting legacy

Nope. Not anymore. Not me. No more “happy enough.”

Now, I’m ready to stand on top of that telephone pole–to feel the ecstasy of reaching “The Pinnacle.”

And on that note, I would like to invite you to join me and my very good friend, Allison Maslan for a warm and wonderful 2-session teleseminar called:

“10 Steps to Reach YOUR Pinnacle”

With Life and Business Strategist Allison Maslan

#1 Selling Author of the book Blast Off!

Wednesday November 3rd and Thursday November 4th*

5pm Pacific / 8pm Eastern

90 minutes duration

Register FR*EE at http://tinyurl.com/YourPinnacle

(*Please note, this is a date change from previous announcement)

On these two calls, we’ll be talking about 10 secrets that help you reach your Pinnacle in your business and your personal life, so you never find yourself settling for being “happy enough” again.

I hope to see you there!

P.S.: And if you’re REALLY serious, Allison also has a great new mastermind group called “The Pinnacle Program.” It’s starting in January in San Diego, California. I’ll be there (for sure!). Have a look and apply if you want to join us at http://tinyurl.com/PinnacleProgram

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

SO sorry this is late! I actually thought I had posted it before Christmas. So, you’ll be getting 2 posts back-to-back, one today, one tomorrow.

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (in today’s post)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Monday 28 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Surviving Family Dramas during the Holiday Season
For many people, visiting with relatives during the holidays is a wonderful experience, because it allows them to reconnect with loved ones they might not ordinarily see during the rest of the year. But for many others, visiting with parents, siblings and extended family can bring out the worst in us. It’s as if we’ve travelled back in time. We might be the most powerful and respected person in our professional life, but somehow when we are around our childhood families, we change into blithering idiots. By dint of some inexplicable time-warp, we get caught up in the age-old “family dramas” that drive us absolutely batty and leave such a horrible aftertaste when we go back home to our “adult” world. Within minutes, we manage to regress into a juvenile version of ourselves that never shows up under any other circumstances. But what is worse is that we find it nearly impossible to get out of the age-old scripts we have played out since our youth.

Small wonder why I chose to speak about this in a Holiday Survival Guide!

Getting “hooked” into a role
When we get stuck into a family drama, I call it being “hooked.” The reason why we get hooked into our family dramas lies in the term “drama” itself. Think of what a drama is. It’s not merely a judgemental word; it’s actually a very accurate description of what is taking place. A drama is a complex story with complex characters. And our family dramas are no different. When we are hooked, it means we have taken on the role of one of these characters. And, yes, there are cliché roles in which people tend to be cast. In my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”, I identify some of the typical roles people tend to play, such as “the good girl”, “the black sheep,” “the peacemaker”, “the clown”, “the bully”, “the victim”, “the martyr”, “the loser”, “the rebel”, “the misfit”, and so many others. Combine these with the added subtleties of our identity as being the only, the youngest, the eldest or the middle child (or girl/boy), and we find we really have created some pretty complex characters for ourselves.

Just as a drama on the stage or screen is dependent upon the chemistry and interaction (even if explosive) between the characters, so are our family dramas. Think of your favourite television drama or soap opera, and reflect on how some characters just can’t seem to stop triggering each other, whether passionately, violently or in some other way. So when we find ourselves shouting at someone, “I’m never like this except when I get around you,” it’s actually true. Our role is like a chemical reaction to the stimulus of coming in contact with another character in the play. Just as a good actor can play many different roles, from villain to lover to hero, with equal expertise when given the right script, so too we play different roles when we are working different “scripts” in our day-to-day lives. But the problem is, family scripts tend to get “written” very early in our development, and unless we become aware that we, and our family members, are all reading from the same old script year in and year out, we are unlikely to rewrite it.

How to stop it?
Well, the very first thing needed is to be able to recognise when you are hooked in a role. Simply by recognising your “default characters” when you slip into them can go a long way to making a shift away from them. How do you recognise it? Basically, if you feel weak, out of control, disconnected, ashamed, inauthentic, misunderstood, or incapable of expressing yourself, you might well be hooked in a role. Anger in and of itself is not necessarily a symptom, because anger can also come from an authentic, self-aware state of consciousness. The key is to be truthful about how connected and loving to your own Self you feel. If you do not feel connected and loving to Self, look deeper to see if you can recognise an underlying role.

Once you recognise and acknowledge you are playing one of your old, disempowering roles, notice what kinds of things trigger you. Don’t lay the blame (either outwardly or within your own mind) on another person. Remember: they are just as “hooked” as you are, and if you get entangled in the blame game, you will get nowhere. Instead, take note of the words and scenarios that tend to get you hooked. Really get to know what your triggers are, and take ownership of your reactions to them. It’s actually the most empowering thing you can do.

Realigning
Once you start to recognise your role and identify your triggers, the next thing to do is to practise “stepping aside” when triggers might be tossed your way. I call this “realigning.” If your “drama partner” hurls words at you that traditionally get you worked up, learn how to watch the words as if watching a film. One strategy I teach my clients is to use an anchoring word like, “STOP!” in your mind when you are on the verge of getting hooked. Silently, tell yourself, “Stop!” Some clients also like to use a hand gesture (like touching their thumb to their middle finger, or lightly touching their solar plexus) to bring them to that place of “stopping”. Then, take a breath and mentally step out of the “frame” of this drama, observing it without reacting.

This technique alone can be enough for some, but for others it only delays the outburst until later, because there is so much pent up anger and resentment that it simply has to come out. The aim of stopping is not to make you stuff your emotions or become submissive. It is to give you a breath, so you can bring the situation into your consciousness, and thus give you the ability to take control of your own choices. But if you are really, really hooked into your own drama, it is vital to explore the subtle forces inside of you that keep you attached to the role you play.

Why we cling to a role even if it makes us unhappy
Here’s one common example. If we find ourselves locked into a “victim” role or any role where we believe ourselves to be the “wronged one”, we might unconsciously be gripping very tightly onto that role because it satisfies a part of our identity. Why in the world would we wish to identify with being a victim? Simple. It makes us “right” and another person “wrong.” “But,” you might ask, “I am not a mean, vindictive person; why would I want to make someone else ‘wrong’?” The answer is because we feel weak and powerless inside. And when we feel powerless, this feeling of being “right” might well be the only glimmer of strength we are able to feel within ourselves. So, it makes perfect sense that we will hold onto this role for dear life because we have become so detached from ourselves we cannot see who we are without it. Basically, we are afraid. We fear our lives, if not our very existence, will become meaningless without the shield of being “right”.

And remember, if someone in your life always needs to be right (and it doesn’t matter if they are playing the role of a victim or a bully), that person is actually living with great fear. And here’s the key: when you can step outside the drama just long enough to see how much fear that person is feeling, you are far less likely to attack them or fear them yourself. And the instant you have stepped outside the drama, even for a second or two, and felt this compassion for the other person, you have begun to rewrite the script of your family drama. And that is when real relationships can begin.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Family Drama into Joy

Here’s a simple Joy Formula for you to try out this holiday season:

• If you are feeling misunderstood, defensive, victimised or out of control, you are probably “hooked”. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else. Instead, congratulate yourself for recognising it.

• Take note of the “triggers” that get you hooked. Again, don’t fall into the blame game. It only gives your power away. Instead, take ownership for what you choose to do with those triggers.
• Use a silent mental anchoring word like “Stop” and/or hand gesture to break your pattern of reacting to the trigger.
• Breathe!
• Mentally step out of the scene and start to rewrite the script. Here are some ideas. Bad script formula: “You always make me feel x, y, z”
  • Bad script formula: “You’re always so x, y, z”
  • Good script formulas (in the right tone of voice, of course!): “I hear that you feel a, b, c when I said/did, x, y, z. What would really help me is to know what you would like me to say/do so you don’t feel this way” -OR- “When you said/did x, y, z, I feel a, b, c. I would really help me is if you said/did q, r, s.”
  • Note that what you DON’T want to say is that the person “made you” feel a certain way, or that the person is the problem. Focus on specific things the person said or did, tell them how the words or deed impact you (not making it their fault) and tell/ask them for what you want. This way, the person knows exactly what isn’t working for you, and you would like from them. Bear in mind that the other person might continue to play out the drama and not react very positively at first. If that happens, just keep rewriting the script. Believe me, if you do it enough times, the drama breaks and you start to speak to each other quite differently.

Being hooked by our unconscious roles and “old scripts” can frequently be so deep-rooted that people cannot easily identify them, even though they know something within them is causing much pain and heartache. The process of moving from unconsciousness to clarity and awareness is beyond the scope of this article, but if you want to explore it further, I do invite you to contact me for a consultation by filling in a request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

I hope the information in this article has given you some useful tips for achieving greater joy over the holidays when you spend time with your families.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
STRESS OVER MONEY (!) during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out TOMORROW.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (in today’s post)
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sat 12 December)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Tues 15 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Fri 18 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Beating Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal illnesses
In Part 1, we looked at SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In today’s instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”, we’ll look at beating the holiday blues of seasonal illnesses like colds and flu.

Ok. I admit. There is nothing that makes us feel more “blue” than getting ill, especially during the holidays when we are supposed to be having fun (aren’t’ we?). There has indeed been an awful lot of flu going around this year (I had swine flu in September myself), over and above the usual seasonal flu. But what makes the flu season even worse is the fact that during the holiday season, we tend to compromise our body’s immune system to an extreme by:

• Staying indoors most of the time. This not only cuts down on our supply of Vitamin D, which is already in short supply in the winter (as mentioned in previous article), but it also makes us more subject to respiratory illness due to stale air, indoor heating, etc.
• Eating a lot of processed, rich or sugary foods. ‘Nuff said.
• Consuming more alcohol than usual. Admit it… perhaps more during the holidays than the rest of the year combined?
• Shopping in crowded and stressful conditions. I’m sorry, but I take issue with ANYONE who says he/she’s “born” to shop! NOT!
• Going to more parties than usual. Yes, and staying up till stupid-o-clock many days in a row. Yup. Always good for the immune system.
• Getting stressed over money. For some reason we feel the need to spend gargantuan amounts of money at Christmas. When did that happen? So on the one hand we get all stressed out about our bills, but on the other hand if we DON’T spend the money because we actually are broke, we get all stressed out with guilt over not having enough money to spend. Does this make sense? It’s a no-win situation.
• AND so many other things. You fill in the blanks.

Ho, ho, ho…

You know, looking at this, it sort of makes me think that the flu “bugs” are smart enough to know that if they wait to attack us around the holidays, they’ll have a real easy time of it. So, given that these little guys are wise to our habits and know when it’s the best time of year to zap us, I propose that we will at least have a fighting chance if we follow these 3 steps:

STEP 1: Eliminate the negative stimuli that might cause seasonal illness.
It makes sense, first and foremost, to try not to get sick in the first place by relearning your physical, mental and emotional limitations.

• Get outdoors every day, even if for a little while. When to do get outdoors, take time to BREATHE the air and look at the trees, sky, etc. Clear your lungs, your brain, the pores of your skin.
• Go very easy on the food and drinks that you KNOW make you feel tired, sick or lacking in energy the next day.
• Take shopping in small doses and try to go at “off” times. Better yet, buy online or buy less, full stop. OR how about MAKING gifts? I remember when I was a kid I always made gifts, and while they might have been a bit… well…not always the most “practical” (I remember a pencil holder I made for my sister that was in the shape of an alien… the pencils were his antennae), but the point is they were personal, and they showed I had taken the time to make them for the person.
• Say “no” to at least 2 activities this holiday season that simply feel like too much, no matter how much social pressure might be put upon you. The problem with the holidays is that we get caught up in the flurry of activity and we think we “must” participate in everything that pops up. It’s simply not true.
• Regardless of anything else, remember to consume lots of water. The simple fact is, most of us tend to be dehydrated. General “word on the street” is that we need 2 litres a day, but actually if we are carrying a few extra pounds, we need more than that. If you smoke, even more. AND remember, caffeinated beverages (and alcohol) are actually dehydrating to the system, so don’t think that 10 cups of coffee a day will give you your daily requirement of water. Water is necessary for keeping our cells healthy, and it also helps to flush out toxins in the body. Without enough water, we become a breeding ground for all kinds of lovelies to find a nice home in our bodies. It’s one of the cheapest and easiest ways to ensure better health and energy levels, but so many people forget to drink water.

STEP 2: Increase your natural defences
Boost your natural immune system with products like Echinacea, Aloe Vera, bee pollen, elderberry syrup and Vitamin C. If you don’t do this during other times of the year, at least do it during the winter months (Echinacea should only be taken for a few months at a time anyway). But do remember that these are only supplements, not cure-alls, and they will have a lessened effect if your diet is poor and you keep pushing yourself too hard. So it’s absolutely pointless to think that these will “bail you out” if you are still driving yourself to your limits.

STEP 3: Learn how to surrender!
Ok, so here’s where I take my “mommie” hat off and put my life coach hat back on.

No matter how diligently we look after ourselves, sometimes we fall ill. And if that’s the case, don’t fight it, SURRENDER to it! It does you absolutely no good at all to push yourself like a martyr, wallow in feelings of guilt or (worse) try to recover too quickly. When I had the swine flu back in September, it took me a whole month to regain my energy fully, and believe me, every time I tried to push it, my body told me to knock it off.

I can’t tell you how many of my clients push themselves to the brink and then wonder why they are ill or unhappy. STOP it right now! The world NEEDS you, and it needs you in one, whole, healthy piece.

Remember:

• It doesn’t matter if the people at work grumble and complain that you are off sick. They’ll also get ill some day and take their turn off work soon enough.
• Your family will not abandon you if you don’t make Christmas dinner this year. It will be a great opportunity for someone else to learn how to cook.
• The world will not end if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. That’s what store vouchers are for.
• Your business will not end if you miss a few days on Twitter (hmmm… look who’s calling the kettle black, here?).

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Seasonal Illness into Joy
So here’s my “Joy Formula” for dealing with seasonal illnesses this year, if you do happen to fall ill this holiday season:

• HOP INTO BED with a hot water bottle on your feet, a cuddly toy on your pillow, a smile on your face, and just sleep as much as you want.
• ASK OTHER PEOPLE to do favours for you. If you live alone, call friends up and ask them to shop for you. You will be amazed how many people will come out of the woodwork to help when you ask for it.
• THANK THE UNIVERSE for sending you the illness, and take it as your “permission slip” to take TIME OUT. See the sickness as a message that your body needs “down time” and just take it.
• UNPLUG YOUR PC and forget about emails. And when you get well, unsubscribe to 50% of your mailing lists (well… except my blog, of course).
• REST AND READ all those books next to your nightstand you haven’t had time to read because you’ve been too busy. Maybe my book The Garden of the Soul is one of them? If not, I recommend it highly.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Family Dramas during the Holiday Season (yikes!).

That’s coming this weekend. Just sign up on the box at the right to be sure you receive it.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Author Patrick Dennis somewhat sarcastically referred to the winter holidays as “The Joyous Season” in his 1960s book of the same name. Most of us inwardly believe that Christmas and the winter holidays are indeed meant to be joyous. But in actuality, many people have a rough time during the holiday season, for many reasons.

Because the holidays seem to be such challenging and sometimes transitional periods in our lives, this month I decided to have a look at what I think are the “Top 5 Blues” that affect so many people during the holidays, along with why we get them, and how to turn them around into Joy. Here are the top 5 that came to mind:

• Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) in today’s issue
• Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (coming Wed 9 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sun 27 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Mon 28 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thus 31December

Over the next 12 days, I’ll be examining each of these “blue areas”, give you some tips from other great thinkers, and offer a few of my own suggestions for turning the winter “blues” into cheery multi-coloured mind-body-spirit holiday sparkles. Today, I’ll be talking about SAD– Seasonal Affective Disorder. The findings might surprise you!

Beating Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”).
SAD is a condition that affects some people during the winter months causing them to feel a bit blue, low in energy, or basically “down in the dumps.” But what causes it?

Here in the UK, I recently attended talk by the world-renowned nutritionist Phillip Day who said that SAD actually is caused by a lack of Vitamin D, owing to the decreased amount of available sunshine during the winter months. Through some research, I found that the link between Vitamin D and SAD is widely recognised accepted by the general scientific community.

The truth about Vitamin D
Vitamin D is not really a vitamin, but actually a hormone the body produces, which plays a key role in so many vital functions of the body, and deficiency has been linked to an array of diseases, including diabetes and cancer. Taking a simple 1-hour walk outdoors during the warmer months is generally adequate to keep us stocked with our daily quotient of Vitamin D, which is first absorbed through exposed skin, and then assimilated into the bloodstream.

So if sunshine helps create Vitamin D, and Vitamin D gets rid of the winter “blues”, is “busting” Seasonal Affective Disorder just an easy matter of getting out into the sunshine during the winter? Well yes… and no.

During these dark, winter months, not only is there much less sunlight during the daytime, but also the angle of the sun is such that Vitamin D absorption by the body is not as efficient as it is in other times of the year. This is especially true for people who live above 40 degrees latitude, which includes a huge portion of the US and most of Europe. To make matters worse, the likelihood for Vitamin D deficiency is even greater amongst people with darker skin who live in these latitudes, because their pigmentation was naturally designed to block the sun’s rays more than that of people with fairer skin, as their ethnic roots are from sunnier climates.

Hmmm… Kind of makes your realise how much our bodies love to live in synch with the Earth and the Sun, doesn’t it?

Can I cheat?
You might ask the question, “If we cannot get enough Vitamin D during the winter, can we ’stock up’ on it over the summer when there is more sunlight?” Answer: Nope. Vitamin D lives in the body only for about two weeks. So two weeks’ summer holiday in sunny Spain last June will not cover your Vitamin D requirements during your English Christmas six months later. No, if you suffer from SAD during the winter in the northern latitudes, the best advice nutritionists are currently giving is to take Vitamin D supplements (do some research on the dosages, because I have read varying opinions about this).

Why is Lynn talking about this?
Ok… it’s true I’m not a scientist, doctor or nutritionist. So why am I talking about this in a coaching newsletter? Well, it’s because I believe, with every grain of my being, that our overall happiness and wellbeing is dependent upon the integration of mind, body and spirit. And something we, in this modern era, forget too frequently is that we are basically the children of the solar system and are not only physically connected to and dependent upon the Sun, the Earth, the Moon and other celestial entities, but that our ultimate happiness depends upon our being emotionally and spiritually connected to them as well.

But it is my observation that, in our modern world, we have become so dissociated from the most ubiquitous presence in our daily lives (the Sun) that we are even a bit “sun-o-phobic”. We smother our bodies with sunscreen, believing the sun to have “deadly rays”, forgetting that it is actually our link to our own Source. While I am not minimising care needed to be taken with regards to things like skin cancer, I do think our modern relationship with the Sun is poorly defined.

“Working Lunch Disorder”
Here’s an example of what I mean. If you combine our “sun-o-phobia” with our modern “workaholic” ethical code, you come up with the modern blight known as the “working lunch”. Personally, I think the “working lunch” is responsible for the vast majority of work-related stresses and other ailments in our modern world. But still, hardly anyone DARES to kick the habit. I can’t tell you how many times I have requested my clients to get OUT of the office daily and go outdoors during their lunch breaks. And by “break” I don’t mean a 20-minute dash to the bank! I mean an actual BREAK. You’d think they’d leap at the chance to become less stressed… but noooooooo…. you wouldn’t believe the MOUNTAIN of excuses I hear:

• “My boss wouldn’t like it.”
• “If I did that, I wouldn’t get my work done.”
• “People depend on me. Things would fall apart if I took an hour off.”
• “I don’t eat lunch anyway. I just grab a granola bar and coffee, and eat while I reply to my emails.”
• “Most of the time, I’m so busy I don’t remember it’s lunchtime until it’s like 3pm, so I just keep going until it’s time to go home.”
• “I’ve gotten used to it.” (Yeah, right. I call this the “frog in the pot syndrome”)

I find it utterly astonishing how such a simple thing as getting away from our desks during lunch hour can be one of the most challenging habits for people to cultivate. It is a plight of the modern age, and would never have happened in the past, when people didn’t have cars, had to work the land, etc. But nowadays, it can be a real challenge to shift our perspective so we recognise that our bodies, hearts and minds are CRAVING connection to source and that lack of this connection can actually cause both physical and emotional imbalances. (Ironically, many people might blame our troubles on our boss, but the truth is, our boss is in exactly the same predicament).

Getting back to SAD, the point is, if you are already not in the frame of mind to go out into the sunshine on a regular basis even when the weather is nice, warm and sunny, you are even less likely to get outdoors when the weather is colder, damper and darker.

My own experiences
Back when I first moved to London, I do believe I suffered from SAD. I commuted 5 hours a day on the London underground and I was indoors nearly all the time. I felt really low, my diet was abysmal and I walked with a stooped posture (Vitamin D is also essential to the proper absorption of Calcium, so it is essential for healthy bone growth).

Since moving to Bedford 4 ½ years ago, my lifestyle has changed radically. I’ve made a habit of walking outdoors at least 1 hour a day, at least 5 days a week, even if it’s raining or snowing. I love walking in the crisp air (provided it’s not TOO cold). Upon the suggestion of my good friend Fran Stockley, a nutritional therapist, I try not to wear gloves, hat or scarf when I’m outside unless I really need them, in order to enable better absorption of the sunlight. I also take plant-source supplements, including about 400 IU of Vitamin D every day.

The result?
While I might sometimes succumb to seasonal illnesses (see part 2 of this “Holiday Survival Guide” later this week), I never get “SAD” in the winter months. My energy and enthusiasm are pretty much unstoppable. One of my former clients recently said to me, “You must be the happiest person I know.” I had to laugh because she said this to me on one of my more STRESSED days! So if I seem happy in comparison to others even when I am not at my own 100%, you can see how much room for improvement there is amongst the people she knows.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning SAD into Joy

Ok, at a practical level, if you suffer from SAD and you want to bust the holiday blues this year, the experts tell us to get out and walk in the bright, crisp air every day for a minimum of 30-60 minutes, and to get yourself a good Vitamin D supplement from a natural food source.

But at a deeper, internal level, if you suffer from SAD, try to view it as an indication that the Earth and Sun are “calling” you. SAD is their way of telling you they want you to come out of your dark, air-tight cubicle and connect with them. They are saying, “Come out and play with us!” I think it is high time for us human beings to listen to them, so we can inherit the wisdom they have for us.

What better friends could you have during the holiday season, or indeed at any time than Father Sky and Mother Earth? They will never abandon you. If you ever feel lonely or depressed, just look up into the sky, or down beneath your feet, and you will find them there. Earth and Sun are your most intimate friends, who really KNOW you body, mind and spirit. They with you at every moment.

AND… when you feel genuinely connected at every moment, how can you have the blues? It is within this connection that you will find your Joy.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Seasonal Illnesses during the Holiday Season. Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!  Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Information Sources
1. Live talk bay Phillip Day on 26 November 2009, Milton Keynes. Phillip Day is the founder of an independent research organisation called “Credence”, whose stated goal is “to report properly annotated and verified information
that enables you to make wise health decisions.” http://www.credence.org/

SIDE NOTE: Phillip Day has agreed to be a guest on my radio show sometime in 2010; be sure you watch my updates around March or so. If you are interested in health, you won’t want to miss him.

2. Turner, Natasha, ND. 2009. “Sleeping too Much? You Could be SAD.” Accessed from TrueStar Health website on 5 December 2009 at http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm_archives13ML3P1A8.html

3. Reinagel, Monica. July 2008. “Can you store up enough vitamin D in the summer to last you though winter?” Accessed from “The Nutrition Data Blog” on 5 December 2009 at
http://blog.nutritiondata.com/ndblog/2008/07/can-you-store-u.html

4. Gombart, Adrian. November 2009. “Multiple health concerns surface as winter, vitamin D deficiencies arrive.” Accessed from Eureka Alert on 5 December 2009 at http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-11/osu-mhc112309.php

5. Landers, Susan. April 2009. “OM studies boost in vitamin D requirements”. Accessed from “American Medical News” on 5 December 2009 at http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2009/04/20/hlsa0420.htm

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html