5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season-  Part 4 of 5
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Well, as we move into the last week of the holiday season, we move into the penultimate article in our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (posted 27 Dec)
   
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money in today’s post
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Let’s face it. Sometimes we spend money during the holidays as if we had an unlimited supply of cash. But then, the bills start to arrive. And while we might have felt bright, bubbly and festive when we did our holiday shopping, when we begin to assess the financial “damages”, our euphoria can rapidly turn into stress, and even guilt, making it impossible for us to feel the joy of the season.

I’m pretty sure just about all of us have experienced such “buyer’s regret” at one time or another in our lives when we have purchased something and thought twice about it after the fact. At other times of the year, if we bought something and had regrets about it afterwards, we could usually return it if we wished. But with holiday spending, this isn’t so easy, as most of our spending is on gifts for others, or on holiday consumables like food, drink and entertainment. We cannot return these items and get our money back.

So, how can we relieve ourselves from this stress and guilt?

It would be all too easy to say, “Just don’t spend as much next year.” Equally, it would be all too easy to say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s only money. You can’t take it with you, so spend it when you’ve got it.”

But the problem is, it doesn’t work like that. To say, “Just don’t spend as much” is about as effective as telling a smoker or a drinker, “Just don’t smoke/drink as much.” The truth is we are probably spending for reasons ever so subtle, we might not even be aware of them. And unless we understand our true motivation for matters to do with money, no amount of “Why don’t you just do this or that” will change our habits. Money is not actually the cause of our stress and guilt. It is how we think about ourselves in relation to money that is the culprit.

In this article, I will look at three common ways our relationship with money can cause stress in many people, especially during the holidays:

1. Misunderstanding the true nature of money
2. Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
3. Using money as a distorted measurement of our worth

What money is and what it is not
Our culture of consumerism seems to induce the feeling that we are dependent upon money, just the same way an addict feels dependent upon a particular substance. But the truth is we are not dependent upon money; we have only given our power away to it and come to believe we are.

Money is actually a convenience we human beings have created to enable us to place a quantifiable value upon things, so we can easily trade for whatever we want and need to make our lives fuller and happier. Our monetary system has helped us move from needing to determine an equivalent value for every single item or service we might wish to exchange with each other. It also made life a heck of a lot more practical and enabled us to create the modern world in which we currently live. For instance, I seriously doubt I would be sitting writing this article if, every day, I had to lug around a bucket of milk with me every time I wanted to get a loaf of bread, or whatever I happened to need. I’d have no time for self-development or writing articles!

Seen from this perspective, we can realise that money is actually a creation, a tool and a convenience we humans invented to make our lives easier and to give us more time to grow at a level of consciousness, rather than simply focus on survival all the time. I would go so far as to say that money is a “divinely inspired” creation. How ironic it is, therefore, that so many of us get into a panic and regress to a sub-human “survival mode” when it comes to thinking about money. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from seeing the divine nature of money. Some are so fearful and so blinded to the divine nature of money that they try to use money to gain power over others, either physically or psychologically, thus creating more stress, fear and anxiety in the world (for the most part, all those annoying “cold calls” you get from call centres are dependent upon your anxieties around money, and their entire ethos is built upon a distorted view of what money is).

But when we can see the divine nature of money, we are able to develop a genuinely healthy relationship with it. We come to understand that it can help us create a world in which we have time to explore the Self and find fulfilment at the Soul level, in whatever form that might mean to us. If we relate to it for any other reason (i.e., “I need money to pay my bills,” etc.) we are apt to feel inferior to and resentful towards it, and will tend to push it away from us, making our feelings of lack even greater.

So take a deep breath and start to see money from this perspective: as a wonderful creation whose sole purpose is to bring freedom and enlightenment to all human beings (not just the so-called “rich”). If we are feeling imprisoned by money, rather than free, it does not mean we need more money; it means we have not yet fully understood our authentic relationship with it.

How our perspective determines our relationship with money

Just as in our relationships with other people, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with money. If we view it as the evil Task Master, it will treat us as if it were one. If we view money with the spirit of creativity and choice, it changes our relationship entirely. Here’s an example: Let’s say I am walking down the High Street with £20 in my pocket and I unexpectedly see something I have been looking for that normally costs £20 but is on sale today only for £10. It’s a great bargain, but I know I have to go grocery shopping, and I usually spend £20 on food. I have a choice in how I react to it:

• I could tell myself, “I can’t afford that. I don’t have enough money,” and feel disempowered and limited.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll buy it and I’ll just have to live on canned soup and stale bread,” and feel impoverished, lacking and guilty.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll put it on a credit card. What difference will an extra £10 make?” and delude myself that I am in control, making my dependency problem even worse.
• I could tell myself, “I want to spend my money on food today, and I’ll come back next week for that,” and feel more empowered and at choice.
• I could tell myself, “I’ve really wanted that a long time, so I’ll buy that today, and when I do my grocery shopping, I’ll save money by leaving out all the packaged meals and treats, and stock up on my favourite fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I’ll even make the fruit and veg taste especially delicious by looking up some new recipes for them on the Internet,” and not only feel at choice, but feel I have created an exciting solution for myself.

The key to remember is that the more we are able to see money as a creative tool for our own fulfilment, rather than something that is both limited and limiting in our lives, the more we are able to develop a healthy relationship with it and free ourselves from stress. In other words, when we view money as a free-flowing energy that is meant to flow into us and through us from the world, we can then begin to allow it to come into our lives. I discuss the attribute of “Allowing” in the section called “The Principle of Receiving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. In order for things to flow into us, we must allow them to enter. Money is no different. If we view money as something that has control over us, we will block the barriers to it coming into our lives, and continue the vicious cycle of disconnection, lack, and helplessness.

Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
Just as it is important to understand our relationship with money, it is equally important to understand the reasons why we spend money, especially during the holiday season. Are we spending for the “wrong” reasons? For instance, are we using spending as a means to express our love? Buying gifts to express love is fine, but in some cases, spending becomes a substitute for actual expression of love. I have known many people in my life who found it difficult to express love outwardly, so they would buy gifts as a way to say what they felt they could not say with words or other actions. The result was that they would feel good when they were shopping for the gifts, but afterwards, their mood would dip seriously low.

I’ve observed several reasons why people who spend for the wrong reasons experience this mood swing. First, they feel as though they are unappreciated or misunderstood by the person(s) for whom they bought the gifts. This is because, whether consciously or not, they had replaced their ability to express their inner feelings with external gifts. But no gift can ever adequately express our feelings. And while the recipient of the gift might feel truly grateful, the gift can never say what the gift giver is truly feeling inside. In other words, gifts can only ever be an enhancement, not a replacement, of our emotional expression. If we use them to express what we feel incapable of expressing, we are likely to experience the “dip”. We might even feel that our feelings are not being reciprocated by the other person, but when our emotions are not clearly expressed, we are less likely to get the kind of response we are seeking.

The flow of natural self-expression is an attribute of “The Principle of Giving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. The key to understanding “Giving” is in understanding where it originates. In order to learn how to give authentically, we must first be able to tap into the resources of our own inner Self. All true giving starts there. If we use gift buying to avoid the flow of energy from our inner self into the outer world, we will always feel misunderstood, frustrated and “poor”.

If you are experiencing this kind of “dip” after you have completed you holiday spending, I encourage you to explore the enquiries:

1. What I am trying to say through my spending?
2. What other means can I use to express myself more clearly and openly?
3. What holds me back from being clear and open?

Money as a distorted measurement of our own worth
If you finally want to unlock the straight-jacket in which you have put yourself over money, it is vital that you take a good, honest look at how much of your opinion of yourself is entangled with your financial wherewithal. Ask yourself, “How much of my self-worth do I determine according to how much money I have?” You might not be completely conscious of the fact that you are doing this. But if you have fleeting thoughts that your house, job, clothes, car or other possessions are not good enough compared to other peoples’, or that you “should” have better things just because it feels like the rest of the world has more than you do (as opposed to wanting things because they are a part of your inner-most dreams), then you might be measuring your self-worth through your money.

If you find that you routinely use credit cards to get things that make you feel better, but then you feel guilty and stressed every time the bills come around, you are more than likely allowing money to be a distorted measurement of your own worth, whether consciously or not. It is highly important that we tap into “The Principle of Being” (another Principle from my book The Garden of the Soul) to nurture this distortion back to health. In my Garden of the Soul workshop, one of the things I do is take people through a “peeling the onion” exercise where they strip away all the layers of ego until they find the core of the Self, that is not dependent upon time, circumstance, status, money or any other external factor. When we can tap into that resource, we become resilient when stress over money begins to tighten its grip around us.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Money Stresses into Joy

So many people on the media/Internet talk about “financial freedom”. Well, I have a different view of what this term means, and how to create it. So here’s your “Joy Formula” for this holiday to help you move from stress and anxiety over money and towards a more creative and empowered life:

• Explore the true nature of money as a creative energy that is here in the world to serve you and open up possibilities for self-awareness
• Understand the real reasons why you spend.
• Dive into the emotions you have been trying to express through your spending, and find ways to express them openly.
• Identify all the ways you have attached money to your own self-worth, and strip them away to find the true Self.
• Cut up your credit cards and learn to spend only what you have. This is possibly the most liberating thing I have ever done!
• Find creative ways to decrease your outgoings through refinancing and/or stopping spending on what is not bringing joy into your life.
• Sit down with a notepad write down all the things you could create that could result in more wealth flowing into your life.

And finally…

If you find yourself lying awake at night thinking about unpaid bills, stop your thoughts from running away, and start making a mental inventory of all the little things around your home that make your life fun and joyful. Don’t forget to count the blanket that is wrapped around you as one of them! Then, wrap the blanket more snugly around you, and nestle into a sweet slumber with a smile on your face.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
FEELINGS OF ISOLATION during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

SO sorry this is late! I actually thought I had posted it before Christmas. So, you’ll be getting 2 posts back-to-back, one today, one tomorrow.

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (in today’s post)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Monday 28 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Surviving Family Dramas during the Holiday Season
For many people, visiting with relatives during the holidays is a wonderful experience, because it allows them to reconnect with loved ones they might not ordinarily see during the rest of the year. But for many others, visiting with parents, siblings and extended family can bring out the worst in us. It’s as if we’ve travelled back in time. We might be the most powerful and respected person in our professional life, but somehow when we are around our childhood families, we change into blithering idiots. By dint of some inexplicable time-warp, we get caught up in the age-old “family dramas” that drive us absolutely batty and leave such a horrible aftertaste when we go back home to our “adult” world. Within minutes, we manage to regress into a juvenile version of ourselves that never shows up under any other circumstances. But what is worse is that we find it nearly impossible to get out of the age-old scripts we have played out since our youth.

Small wonder why I chose to speak about this in a Holiday Survival Guide!

Getting “hooked” into a role
When we get stuck into a family drama, I call it being “hooked.” The reason why we get hooked into our family dramas lies in the term “drama” itself. Think of what a drama is. It’s not merely a judgemental word; it’s actually a very accurate description of what is taking place. A drama is a complex story with complex characters. And our family dramas are no different. When we are hooked, it means we have taken on the role of one of these characters. And, yes, there are cliché roles in which people tend to be cast. In my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”, I identify some of the typical roles people tend to play, such as “the good girl”, “the black sheep,” “the peacemaker”, “the clown”, “the bully”, “the victim”, “the martyr”, “the loser”, “the rebel”, “the misfit”, and so many others. Combine these with the added subtleties of our identity as being the only, the youngest, the eldest or the middle child (or girl/boy), and we find we really have created some pretty complex characters for ourselves.

Just as a drama on the stage or screen is dependent upon the chemistry and interaction (even if explosive) between the characters, so are our family dramas. Think of your favourite television drama or soap opera, and reflect on how some characters just can’t seem to stop triggering each other, whether passionately, violently or in some other way. So when we find ourselves shouting at someone, “I’m never like this except when I get around you,” it’s actually true. Our role is like a chemical reaction to the stimulus of coming in contact with another character in the play. Just as a good actor can play many different roles, from villain to lover to hero, with equal expertise when given the right script, so too we play different roles when we are working different “scripts” in our day-to-day lives. But the problem is, family scripts tend to get “written” very early in our development, and unless we become aware that we, and our family members, are all reading from the same old script year in and year out, we are unlikely to rewrite it.

How to stop it?
Well, the very first thing needed is to be able to recognise when you are hooked in a role. Simply by recognising your “default characters” when you slip into them can go a long way to making a shift away from them. How do you recognise it? Basically, if you feel weak, out of control, disconnected, ashamed, inauthentic, misunderstood, or incapable of expressing yourself, you might well be hooked in a role. Anger in and of itself is not necessarily a symptom, because anger can also come from an authentic, self-aware state of consciousness. The key is to be truthful about how connected and loving to your own Self you feel. If you do not feel connected and loving to Self, look deeper to see if you can recognise an underlying role.

Once you recognise and acknowledge you are playing one of your old, disempowering roles, notice what kinds of things trigger you. Don’t lay the blame (either outwardly or within your own mind) on another person. Remember: they are just as “hooked” as you are, and if you get entangled in the blame game, you will get nowhere. Instead, take note of the words and scenarios that tend to get you hooked. Really get to know what your triggers are, and take ownership of your reactions to them. It’s actually the most empowering thing you can do.

Realigning
Once you start to recognise your role and identify your triggers, the next thing to do is to practise “stepping aside” when triggers might be tossed your way. I call this “realigning.” If your “drama partner” hurls words at you that traditionally get you worked up, learn how to watch the words as if watching a film. One strategy I teach my clients is to use an anchoring word like, “STOP!” in your mind when you are on the verge of getting hooked. Silently, tell yourself, “Stop!” Some clients also like to use a hand gesture (like touching their thumb to their middle finger, or lightly touching their solar plexus) to bring them to that place of “stopping”. Then, take a breath and mentally step out of the “frame” of this drama, observing it without reacting.

This technique alone can be enough for some, but for others it only delays the outburst until later, because there is so much pent up anger and resentment that it simply has to come out. The aim of stopping is not to make you stuff your emotions or become submissive. It is to give you a breath, so you can bring the situation into your consciousness, and thus give you the ability to take control of your own choices. But if you are really, really hooked into your own drama, it is vital to explore the subtle forces inside of you that keep you attached to the role you play.

Why we cling to a role even if it makes us unhappy
Here’s one common example. If we find ourselves locked into a “victim” role or any role where we believe ourselves to be the “wronged one”, we might unconsciously be gripping very tightly onto that role because it satisfies a part of our identity. Why in the world would we wish to identify with being a victim? Simple. It makes us “right” and another person “wrong.” “But,” you might ask, “I am not a mean, vindictive person; why would I want to make someone else ‘wrong’?” The answer is because we feel weak and powerless inside. And when we feel powerless, this feeling of being “right” might well be the only glimmer of strength we are able to feel within ourselves. So, it makes perfect sense that we will hold onto this role for dear life because we have become so detached from ourselves we cannot see who we are without it. Basically, we are afraid. We fear our lives, if not our very existence, will become meaningless without the shield of being “right”.

And remember, if someone in your life always needs to be right (and it doesn’t matter if they are playing the role of a victim or a bully), that person is actually living with great fear. And here’s the key: when you can step outside the drama just long enough to see how much fear that person is feeling, you are far less likely to attack them or fear them yourself. And the instant you have stepped outside the drama, even for a second or two, and felt this compassion for the other person, you have begun to rewrite the script of your family drama. And that is when real relationships can begin.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Family Drama into Joy

Here’s a simple Joy Formula for you to try out this holiday season:

• If you are feeling misunderstood, defensive, victimised or out of control, you are probably “hooked”. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else. Instead, congratulate yourself for recognising it.

• Take note of the “triggers” that get you hooked. Again, don’t fall into the blame game. It only gives your power away. Instead, take ownership for what you choose to do with those triggers.
• Use a silent mental anchoring word like “Stop” and/or hand gesture to break your pattern of reacting to the trigger.
• Breathe!
• Mentally step out of the scene and start to rewrite the script. Here are some ideas. Bad script formula: “You always make me feel x, y, z”
  • Bad script formula: “You’re always so x, y, z”
  • Good script formulas (in the right tone of voice, of course!): “I hear that you feel a, b, c when I said/did, x, y, z. What would really help me is to know what you would like me to say/do so you don’t feel this way” -OR- “When you said/did x, y, z, I feel a, b, c. I would really help me is if you said/did q, r, s.”
  • Note that what you DON’T want to say is that the person “made you” feel a certain way, or that the person is the problem. Focus on specific things the person said or did, tell them how the words or deed impact you (not making it their fault) and tell/ask them for what you want. This way, the person knows exactly what isn’t working for you, and you would like from them. Bear in mind that the other person might continue to play out the drama and not react very positively at first. If that happens, just keep rewriting the script. Believe me, if you do it enough times, the drama breaks and you start to speak to each other quite differently.

Being hooked by our unconscious roles and “old scripts” can frequently be so deep-rooted that people cannot easily identify them, even though they know something within them is causing much pain and heartache. The process of moving from unconsciousness to clarity and awareness is beyond the scope of this article, but if you want to explore it further, I do invite you to contact me for a consultation by filling in a request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

I hope the information in this article has given you some useful tips for achieving greater joy over the holidays when you spend time with your families.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
STRESS OVER MONEY (!) during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out TOMORROW.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (in today’s post)
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sat 12 December)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Tues 15 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Fri 18 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Beating Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal illnesses
In Part 1, we looked at SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In today’s instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”, we’ll look at beating the holiday blues of seasonal illnesses like colds and flu.

Ok. I admit. There is nothing that makes us feel more “blue” than getting ill, especially during the holidays when we are supposed to be having fun (aren’t’ we?). There has indeed been an awful lot of flu going around this year (I had swine flu in September myself), over and above the usual seasonal flu. But what makes the flu season even worse is the fact that during the holiday season, we tend to compromise our body’s immune system to an extreme by:

• Staying indoors most of the time. This not only cuts down on our supply of Vitamin D, which is already in short supply in the winter (as mentioned in previous article), but it also makes us more subject to respiratory illness due to stale air, indoor heating, etc.
• Eating a lot of processed, rich or sugary foods. ‘Nuff said.
• Consuming more alcohol than usual. Admit it… perhaps more during the holidays than the rest of the year combined?
• Shopping in crowded and stressful conditions. I’m sorry, but I take issue with ANYONE who says he/she’s “born” to shop! NOT!
• Going to more parties than usual. Yes, and staying up till stupid-o-clock many days in a row. Yup. Always good for the immune system.
• Getting stressed over money. For some reason we feel the need to spend gargantuan amounts of money at Christmas. When did that happen? So on the one hand we get all stressed out about our bills, but on the other hand if we DON’T spend the money because we actually are broke, we get all stressed out with guilt over not having enough money to spend. Does this make sense? It’s a no-win situation.
• AND so many other things. You fill in the blanks.

Ho, ho, ho…

You know, looking at this, it sort of makes me think that the flu “bugs” are smart enough to know that if they wait to attack us around the holidays, they’ll have a real easy time of it. So, given that these little guys are wise to our habits and know when it’s the best time of year to zap us, I propose that we will at least have a fighting chance if we follow these 3 steps:

STEP 1: Eliminate the negative stimuli that might cause seasonal illness.
It makes sense, first and foremost, to try not to get sick in the first place by relearning your physical, mental and emotional limitations.

• Get outdoors every day, even if for a little while. When to do get outdoors, take time to BREATHE the air and look at the trees, sky, etc. Clear your lungs, your brain, the pores of your skin.
• Go very easy on the food and drinks that you KNOW make you feel tired, sick or lacking in energy the next day.
• Take shopping in small doses and try to go at “off” times. Better yet, buy online or buy less, full stop. OR how about MAKING gifts? I remember when I was a kid I always made gifts, and while they might have been a bit… well…not always the most “practical” (I remember a pencil holder I made for my sister that was in the shape of an alien… the pencils were his antennae), but the point is they were personal, and they showed I had taken the time to make them for the person.
• Say “no” to at least 2 activities this holiday season that simply feel like too much, no matter how much social pressure might be put upon you. The problem with the holidays is that we get caught up in the flurry of activity and we think we “must” participate in everything that pops up. It’s simply not true.
• Regardless of anything else, remember to consume lots of water. The simple fact is, most of us tend to be dehydrated. General “word on the street” is that we need 2 litres a day, but actually if we are carrying a few extra pounds, we need more than that. If you smoke, even more. AND remember, caffeinated beverages (and alcohol) are actually dehydrating to the system, so don’t think that 10 cups of coffee a day will give you your daily requirement of water. Water is necessary for keeping our cells healthy, and it also helps to flush out toxins in the body. Without enough water, we become a breeding ground for all kinds of lovelies to find a nice home in our bodies. It’s one of the cheapest and easiest ways to ensure better health and energy levels, but so many people forget to drink water.

STEP 2: Increase your natural defences
Boost your natural immune system with products like Echinacea, Aloe Vera, bee pollen, elderberry syrup and Vitamin C. If you don’t do this during other times of the year, at least do it during the winter months (Echinacea should only be taken for a few months at a time anyway). But do remember that these are only supplements, not cure-alls, and they will have a lessened effect if your diet is poor and you keep pushing yourself too hard. So it’s absolutely pointless to think that these will “bail you out” if you are still driving yourself to your limits.

STEP 3: Learn how to surrender!
Ok, so here’s where I take my “mommie” hat off and put my life coach hat back on.

No matter how diligently we look after ourselves, sometimes we fall ill. And if that’s the case, don’t fight it, SURRENDER to it! It does you absolutely no good at all to push yourself like a martyr, wallow in feelings of guilt or (worse) try to recover too quickly. When I had the swine flu back in September, it took me a whole month to regain my energy fully, and believe me, every time I tried to push it, my body told me to knock it off.

I can’t tell you how many of my clients push themselves to the brink and then wonder why they are ill or unhappy. STOP it right now! The world NEEDS you, and it needs you in one, whole, healthy piece.

Remember:

• It doesn’t matter if the people at work grumble and complain that you are off sick. They’ll also get ill some day and take their turn off work soon enough.
• Your family will not abandon you if you don’t make Christmas dinner this year. It will be a great opportunity for someone else to learn how to cook.
• The world will not end if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. That’s what store vouchers are for.
• Your business will not end if you miss a few days on Twitter (hmmm… look who’s calling the kettle black, here?).

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Seasonal Illness into Joy
So here’s my “Joy Formula” for dealing with seasonal illnesses this year, if you do happen to fall ill this holiday season:

• HOP INTO BED with a hot water bottle on your feet, a cuddly toy on your pillow, a smile on your face, and just sleep as much as you want.
• ASK OTHER PEOPLE to do favours for you. If you live alone, call friends up and ask them to shop for you. You will be amazed how many people will come out of the woodwork to help when you ask for it.
• THANK THE UNIVERSE for sending you the illness, and take it as your “permission slip” to take TIME OUT. See the sickness as a message that your body needs “down time” and just take it.
• UNPLUG YOUR PC and forget about emails. And when you get well, unsubscribe to 50% of your mailing lists (well… except my blog, of course).
• REST AND READ all those books next to your nightstand you haven’t had time to read because you’ve been too busy. Maybe my book The Garden of the Soul is one of them? If not, I recommend it highly.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Family Dramas during the Holiday Season (yikes!).

That’s coming this weekend. Just sign up on the box at the right to be sure you receive it.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Author Patrick Dennis somewhat sarcastically referred to the winter holidays as “The Joyous Season” in his 1960s book of the same name. Most of us inwardly believe that Christmas and the winter holidays are indeed meant to be joyous. But in actuality, many people have a rough time during the holiday season, for many reasons.

Because the holidays seem to be such challenging and sometimes transitional periods in our lives, this month I decided to have a look at what I think are the “Top 5 Blues” that affect so many people during the holidays, along with why we get them, and how to turn them around into Joy. Here are the top 5 that came to mind:

• Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) in today’s issue
• Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (coming Wed 9 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sun 27 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Mon 28 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thus 31December

Over the next 12 days, I’ll be examining each of these “blue areas”, give you some tips from other great thinkers, and offer a few of my own suggestions for turning the winter “blues” into cheery multi-coloured mind-body-spirit holiday sparkles. Today, I’ll be talking about SAD– Seasonal Affective Disorder. The findings might surprise you!

Beating Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”).
SAD is a condition that affects some people during the winter months causing them to feel a bit blue, low in energy, or basically “down in the dumps.” But what causes it?

Here in the UK, I recently attended talk by the world-renowned nutritionist Phillip Day who said that SAD actually is caused by a lack of Vitamin D, owing to the decreased amount of available sunshine during the winter months. Through some research, I found that the link between Vitamin D and SAD is widely recognised accepted by the general scientific community.

The truth about Vitamin D
Vitamin D is not really a vitamin, but actually a hormone the body produces, which plays a key role in so many vital functions of the body, and deficiency has been linked to an array of diseases, including diabetes and cancer. Taking a simple 1-hour walk outdoors during the warmer months is generally adequate to keep us stocked with our daily quotient of Vitamin D, which is first absorbed through exposed skin, and then assimilated into the bloodstream.

So if sunshine helps create Vitamin D, and Vitamin D gets rid of the winter “blues”, is “busting” Seasonal Affective Disorder just an easy matter of getting out into the sunshine during the winter? Well yes… and no.

During these dark, winter months, not only is there much less sunlight during the daytime, but also the angle of the sun is such that Vitamin D absorption by the body is not as efficient as it is in other times of the year. This is especially true for people who live above 40 degrees latitude, which includes a huge portion of the US and most of Europe. To make matters worse, the likelihood for Vitamin D deficiency is even greater amongst people with darker skin who live in these latitudes, because their pigmentation was naturally designed to block the sun’s rays more than that of people with fairer skin, as their ethnic roots are from sunnier climates.

Hmmm… Kind of makes your realise how much our bodies love to live in synch with the Earth and the Sun, doesn’t it?

Can I cheat?
You might ask the question, “If we cannot get enough Vitamin D during the winter, can we ’stock up’ on it over the summer when there is more sunlight?” Answer: Nope. Vitamin D lives in the body only for about two weeks. So two weeks’ summer holiday in sunny Spain last June will not cover your Vitamin D requirements during your English Christmas six months later. No, if you suffer from SAD during the winter in the northern latitudes, the best advice nutritionists are currently giving is to take Vitamin D supplements (do some research on the dosages, because I have read varying opinions about this).

Why is Lynn talking about this?
Ok… it’s true I’m not a scientist, doctor or nutritionist. So why am I talking about this in a coaching newsletter? Well, it’s because I believe, with every grain of my being, that our overall happiness and wellbeing is dependent upon the integration of mind, body and spirit. And something we, in this modern era, forget too frequently is that we are basically the children of the solar system and are not only physically connected to and dependent upon the Sun, the Earth, the Moon and other celestial entities, but that our ultimate happiness depends upon our being emotionally and spiritually connected to them as well.

But it is my observation that, in our modern world, we have become so dissociated from the most ubiquitous presence in our daily lives (the Sun) that we are even a bit “sun-o-phobic”. We smother our bodies with sunscreen, believing the sun to have “deadly rays”, forgetting that it is actually our link to our own Source. While I am not minimising care needed to be taken with regards to things like skin cancer, I do think our modern relationship with the Sun is poorly defined.

“Working Lunch Disorder”
Here’s an example of what I mean. If you combine our “sun-o-phobia” with our modern “workaholic” ethical code, you come up with the modern blight known as the “working lunch”. Personally, I think the “working lunch” is responsible for the vast majority of work-related stresses and other ailments in our modern world. But still, hardly anyone DARES to kick the habit. I can’t tell you how many times I have requested my clients to get OUT of the office daily and go outdoors during their lunch breaks. And by “break” I don’t mean a 20-minute dash to the bank! I mean an actual BREAK. You’d think they’d leap at the chance to become less stressed… but noooooooo…. you wouldn’t believe the MOUNTAIN of excuses I hear:

• “My boss wouldn’t like it.”
• “If I did that, I wouldn’t get my work done.”
• “People depend on me. Things would fall apart if I took an hour off.”
• “I don’t eat lunch anyway. I just grab a granola bar and coffee, and eat while I reply to my emails.”
• “Most of the time, I’m so busy I don’t remember it’s lunchtime until it’s like 3pm, so I just keep going until it’s time to go home.”
• “I’ve gotten used to it.” (Yeah, right. I call this the “frog in the pot syndrome”)

I find it utterly astonishing how such a simple thing as getting away from our desks during lunch hour can be one of the most challenging habits for people to cultivate. It is a plight of the modern age, and would never have happened in the past, when people didn’t have cars, had to work the land, etc. But nowadays, it can be a real challenge to shift our perspective so we recognise that our bodies, hearts and minds are CRAVING connection to source and that lack of this connection can actually cause both physical and emotional imbalances. (Ironically, many people might blame our troubles on our boss, but the truth is, our boss is in exactly the same predicament).

Getting back to SAD, the point is, if you are already not in the frame of mind to go out into the sunshine on a regular basis even when the weather is nice, warm and sunny, you are even less likely to get outdoors when the weather is colder, damper and darker.

My own experiences
Back when I first moved to London, I do believe I suffered from SAD. I commuted 5 hours a day on the London underground and I was indoors nearly all the time. I felt really low, my diet was abysmal and I walked with a stooped posture (Vitamin D is also essential to the proper absorption of Calcium, so it is essential for healthy bone growth).

Since moving to Bedford 4 ½ years ago, my lifestyle has changed radically. I’ve made a habit of walking outdoors at least 1 hour a day, at least 5 days a week, even if it’s raining or snowing. I love walking in the crisp air (provided it’s not TOO cold). Upon the suggestion of my good friend Fran Stockley, a nutritional therapist, I try not to wear gloves, hat or scarf when I’m outside unless I really need them, in order to enable better absorption of the sunlight. I also take plant-source supplements, including about 400 IU of Vitamin D every day.

The result?
While I might sometimes succumb to seasonal illnesses (see part 2 of this “Holiday Survival Guide” later this week), I never get “SAD” in the winter months. My energy and enthusiasm are pretty much unstoppable. One of my former clients recently said to me, “You must be the happiest person I know.” I had to laugh because she said this to me on one of my more STRESSED days! So if I seem happy in comparison to others even when I am not at my own 100%, you can see how much room for improvement there is amongst the people she knows.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning SAD into Joy

Ok, at a practical level, if you suffer from SAD and you want to bust the holiday blues this year, the experts tell us to get out and walk in the bright, crisp air every day for a minimum of 30-60 minutes, and to get yourself a good Vitamin D supplement from a natural food source.

But at a deeper, internal level, if you suffer from SAD, try to view it as an indication that the Earth and Sun are “calling” you. SAD is their way of telling you they want you to come out of your dark, air-tight cubicle and connect with them. They are saying, “Come out and play with us!” I think it is high time for us human beings to listen to them, so we can inherit the wisdom they have for us.

What better friends could you have during the holiday season, or indeed at any time than Father Sky and Mother Earth? They will never abandon you. If you ever feel lonely or depressed, just look up into the sky, or down beneath your feet, and you will find them there. Earth and Sun are your most intimate friends, who really KNOW you body, mind and spirit. They with you at every moment.

AND… when you feel genuinely connected at every moment, how can you have the blues? It is within this connection that you will find your Joy.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Seasonal Illnesses during the Holiday Season. Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!  Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Information Sources
1. Live talk bay Phillip Day on 26 November 2009, Milton Keynes. Phillip Day is the founder of an independent research organisation called “Credence”, whose stated goal is “to report properly annotated and verified information
that enables you to make wise health decisions.” http://www.credence.org/

SIDE NOTE: Phillip Day has agreed to be a guest on my radio show sometime in 2010; be sure you watch my updates around March or so. If you are interested in health, you won’t want to miss him.

2. Turner, Natasha, ND. 2009. “Sleeping too Much? You Could be SAD.” Accessed from TrueStar Health website on 5 December 2009 at http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm_archives13ML3P1A8.html

3. Reinagel, Monica. July 2008. “Can you store up enough vitamin D in the summer to last you though winter?” Accessed from “The Nutrition Data Blog” on 5 December 2009 at
http://blog.nutritiondata.com/ndblog/2008/07/can-you-store-u.html

4. Gombart, Adrian. November 2009. “Multiple health concerns surface as winter, vitamin D deficiencies arrive.” Accessed from Eureka Alert on 5 December 2009 at http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-11/osu-mhc112309.php

5. Landers, Susan. April 2009. “OM studies boost in vitamin D requirements”. Accessed from “American Medical News” on 5 December 2009 at http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2009/04/20/hlsa0420.htm

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html