On the show, we discussed my own history of depression and post traumatic stress, from a very early age. I shared my own definition of “depression” as being “grief for the loss of a part of ourselves.”  We discussed how this definition opens up the door to dive into the pain deeply, and to honour and acknowledge our grief completely. We discussed how depression is actually a gift from the Universe to tell us that something needs our attention, and that it is ultimately an invitation for us to come back to who we truly are.

I also shared my experience with post traumatic stress, and how it can sometimes trigger depression. But, I explained, the two are quite different. While depression is an expression of grief and loss, trauma is an expression of fear. When we are afraid, it is common to respond in either a passive or aggressive fashion, whereas grief can manifest in quite different ways. I called upon listeners in the audience who believe they are going through depression to examine whether they are feeling grief or fear (or both), because sometimes there is a trauma that needs to be acknowledged and addressed.

At the end of the show, I shared my own personal message about reaching a place within ourselves where we can take a metaview of our lives, and see all of these circumstances and the emotions which arise from them as part of the greater “hero’s story” of our lives.

After the call was over, Marifran wrote to me to tell me that several listeners on the show had written to her responding strongly to the content of the show. Marifran sent me these written responses she received from listeners who suffered with depression at some point in their lives:

“I liked the definition of grieving over loss of self so we can feel the emotion.
You have to find out who the self is that you lost.” – CG

“I resonate to Lynn’s words that depression is there to get your attention.
It does not mean something about you.” – NB

“I was enthralled.”

“I am ecstatic with sheer joy and happy tears.”

“This idea of being given permission to grieve is so powerful.
Like Lynn I believe we are in a chronically undergrieved society.” – JS

“Lynn’s description of her experience is my experience.
I was so excited and grateful to hear what I’ve known expressed so clearly and directly.” – SJ

Needless to say, I was moved by the response.

Because the things discussed on this show proved to be so powerful, and this message is so important, I wanted to share it with you. You can hear the full 1-hour interview on the player below:

If you are receiving this post via email,
and cannot see the player, you many listen to it online at:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/marifran/2010/07/27/the-spiritual-journey-of-depression

Be sure to check out Marifran’s show on August 10, 2010,
when she is interviewing Vrinda Pendred about the journey of OCD.

AND… don’t forget to tune in to my own show,
“Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”
Wednesdays at 6PM UK/ 1PM Easternon BlogTalkRadio

http://blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

About Lynn Serafinn

Lynn Serafinn is a an award-winning transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced two #1-selling book campaigns, and another #2-selling campaign, in just the past few months. She is also the creator of Spirit Authors, which offers training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. To contact Lynn for coaching, campaign management or media appearances, please fill in the form at http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

This year, the 15th Annual One World Summer Festival is coming to Great Malvern, England August 9th – 15th, 2010. I will again be teaching at this wonderful event, offering daily mini-workshops “Becoming the Hero of Your Own Life”, “The Garden of the Soul” and “Spiritual Marketing.”

The festival will also be held in Tuscany during the first week of September, but apparently the Italian festival is already sold out! (but I WILL be there!… how lucky am I?). That just shows how popular this event is.

Over the past 15 years, thousands of people have benefited in body, mind and spirit from coming to One World, but THIS YEAR, we are giving everyone a taste of this fabulous festival right from the comfort of your own home at a unique event called…

The One World VIRTUAL Festival
Tues June 29, Wed June 30, Thurs July 1
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern
ADMISSION: FR*EE!

A mini-fest of FR*EE online classes in holistic health, spirituality and overall wellbeing by NINE internationally acclaimed experts

Simulcast! Take your pick:
Listen via webcast OR telephone conference line

To register for your fr*ee VIP pass, go to:
http://oneworldcamp.com/01-pages/virtual-festival-2010.html

If you cannot make the live calls, register anyway
so you can download the audio and listen any time you want.

Over 3 evenings, you can enjoy enlightening classes from 9 of the dozens of inspiring teachers appearing at the British festival this year.

Here’s the line up:

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 1 ***

DATE: Tuesday, June 29th
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 1 GUESTS:
1) Christian Kyriacou RIBA MCSD – Ki Architect and House Whisperer. Christian will be talking about the Ki Signature of buildings, House Whispering, Feng Shui, Vastu and Geomancy.
2) Zascha Brésilley – Spiritual Teacher. Zascha will be talking about increasing our “Spiritual Footprint” in the world.
3) Steven Acuff – Nutritional consultant and therapist, author, teacher. Steven will give an introduction to healing with food, including acid/alkaline balance, and other vital information.

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 2 ***

DATE: Wednesday, June 30th
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 2 GUESTS:
1) Simon Brown – teacher, consultant, healer, therapist. Simon will be taking you on an introductory exploration into macrobiotics, feng shui, face reading, chi, healing and wabi sabi.
2) Maria Gillott – Macrobiotic Coach, co-founder of the One World Summer Festivals. Maria will give a sneak peek into the Macrobiotic cooking workshops she delivers for parents, showing how to cook for children through the various stages of childhood.
3) Lynn Serafinn – coach, author, radio host, spiritual marketing consultant. Lynn will talk about becoming the hero of your own life, the four Principles from her book The Garden of the Soul, and a new paradigm for spiritually-focussed businesses.

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 3 ***

DATE: Thursday, July 1st
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 3 GUESTS:
1) Julie G. Silver – Nutritional Therapist, Natural Health & Stress Management Consultant. Julie will be talking about “Nutrition for the Now”, and how to cultivate your intuitive, spiritual connection to nutrition.
2) Verne Varona – Author, film director, nutritional consultant and researcher. Verne will introduce you to the art of self diagnosis and disease reversal.
3) Samantha Terry – Acupuncturist, Aromatherapist, Chinese medicine practitioner. Sam will talk about understanding your health from a holistic perspective, and the art of vibrational healing.

YOUR HOSTS THROUGHOUT VIRTUAL FESTIVAL
Lynn Serafinn – coach, author, radio host, spiritual marketing consultant
Kyle Nash – One World Festival Promotion Team

There will also be a bit of time on each broadcast to ask questions, both over the phone OR via the webcast.

I hope you will join us for this unique 3-day online happening.
To book your place for One World Virtual Festival, go to:
http://oneworldcamp.com/01-pages/virtual-festival-2010.html

Warm wishes,
Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Transformation Coach, Book Promotion Coach, Author, radio host

About Lynn Serafinn, Creator of Spirit Authors

Lynn Serafinn is a transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced two #1-selling book campaigns, and another #2-selling campaign, in just the past 4 months. She created Spirit Authors to offer training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. She’s also in Round 2 of the Next Top Spiritual Author contest! To check out Lynn’s video entry, brand new book proposal and read 80 pages from her book The Garden of the Soul, go to http://www.NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=2016. A free gift awaits you when you cast your vote.

The grand prize is a book contract from Hampton Roads Publishing, one of the top Body-Mind-Spirit publishers in the world, along with a promotional package worth over $50,000.

There are 3 rounds of voting. The first round starts MONDAY March 29, 2010, and ends May 3, 2010. I could REALLY use your vote to help me advance to Round 2.

Here’s the video I made for my contest entry. I poured my heart and soul into it! If you cannot see it on your screen, view it on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8P92UVYwCQ.

If you think The Garden of the Soul deserves to go to a wider audience, please help me by:

1) Watching this video to help you decide whether you think I deserve the prize AND THEN
2) Voting for me at http://tinyurl.com/TopAuthorLynn between March 29 – May 3rd.
3) Help yourself to a THANK YOU GIFT on that page (it’s a collection of audio excerpts from my book)
4) SHARE the page via Twitter or Facebook (you’ll see the buttons right there on the page).

And there is NO pressure to choose only one author to win this contest! There are hundreds of great authors for you to consider, and you can vote for as many authors as you like (but you can only vote ONCE for each author per round).

I you can help me advance to Round 2 of this exciting competition, I will be EXTREMELY grateful!

My motivation is fuelled by your encouragement and comments. I’d love to hear what you have to say about the video, my book and whatever else, in the comments box below (if you are reading this in your email inbox, click HERE to leave a comment).

Thank you everyone!

I LOVE my new PC

Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve been having some problems with RSI (repetitive strain injury) in my wrists and shoulders. I don’t mean just a little bit of aches and pains… I was in a fairly crippling state for at least a week and couldn’t type anything without extreme pain. To make sure I didn’t damage my wrists, I refrained from typing for about a week, bought some foam wrist supports for my mouse and keyboard (which help a lot) and also a new keyboard that is much lighter to the touch. My wrists are feeling much better as a result, but I still have to take it REALLY easy so they don’t relapse.

Well, as it turns out, I also bought a new computer this past week (not planned to synchronise with my wrist problems, mind you!). It came a few days ago, and I am still installing all my programmes. I LOVE my new PC. It looks, sounds and behaves beautifully and I am totally thrilled with my purchase. AND I have to say, I really like Windows 7 so far. Very sleek.

While snooping around my new toy, to my surprise I found Windows 7 comes with voice recognition software (apparently it was in XP too, but I never noticed it)! I thought this might be a great answer to my wrist/typing problems, so I thought I’d try it out to see if I could dictate my upcoming classes from Spirit Authors (I have fallen horribly behind, owing to my inability to type).

Well, I have to tell you, my experience was pretty funny. I tried to get it to type the title of one of my upcoming classes, which is, “Module 4 Week 3: Creating a Twitter Campaign for Your Launch”. I repeated the title several times over. Here are the HILARIOUS interpretations it came up with:

• Nigel four week three creating a 20^th campaign by on march

• 1 to 4 with three freeing it will account paying for your knowledge

• Marshall four weeks three creating a clear campaign by and large

• Nigel four weeks three creating a toilet campaign for young launch

• Nigel four weeks 33 minutes whether campaign for real much.

• Model for a week’s 33 minute whether campaign relaunch

• Nigel and a model for four weeks three creating a clever campaign for the launch

• Marshall for week three clear yet whether campaign for you Walsh.

• Model for a week’s free Wheeling and 20 campaign by launch.

• Marshall four weeks 33 minute winner campaign for your launch

Gosh, I wonder who Nigel and Marshall are? And why do they hang out with models? And I REALLY don’t want to think what a “toilet campaign” might be!

Don’t even IMAGINE I made these up. No way. I’ve been laughing so hard since Windows 7 wrote them, tears are literally streaming down my face. I couldn’t possibly have typed them myself.

You’ve got to bear in mind, I was saying the EXACT same line over and over in exactly the same tone of voice. People ALWAYS tell me I speak very clearly! In fact, it’s one of the key things that people note about me. What’s up with this “voice recognition” software?

I went back and “trained” it to recognise my voice, and I also “taught” the word “Twitter”. Amazingly, it “learned” Twitter ok, but it still couldn’t get the hang of the word “Module”, repeatedly choosing the word “Model” or “Models” instead. Not once did it understand the word Module, even after I taught it to hear it and spelled it out for it.

Needless to say, I typed this blog post.

P.S.: If you’d actually like to find out how to create a Twitter campaign for your book launch, you’ll just have to check out Module 4 on my Spirit Authors course. Visit http://spiritauthors.com and find out how you can take a 14-day Test Drive for only $1.

Presenting an exciting NEW concept on the Internet, combining coaching, learning, community and business-building in a creative, spirit-based environment…

SPIRIT AUTHORS GRAND OPENING

Register for free at: http://spiritauthors.com/pages/grand-opening.html

Spirit Authors (www.spiritauthors.com) is an innovative new membership site where established, new and aspiring authors in the mind-body-spirit genre can find everything and everyone they need to make their publication a success. Founded by bestselling author and award-winner teacher and coach, Lynn Serafinn, Spirit Authors provides learning, support and professional resources to mind-body-spirit authors, whether you are just starting out, or are already successfully published.

Won’t you please join us for our Grand Opening Celebration?

• Monday 22 February through Friday 26 February (one webcast per day), from 3pm Eastern (8pm UK)
• FIVE unique broadcasts on different topics including writing, publishing and marketing your book and beyond
• FREE to attend; FREE to listen (via webcast)
• A superb VIP panel of 18 spirit-based industry professionals, all leaders in their fields
• Panellists include top-selling mind-body-spirit authors, editors, marketing specialists, translators, literary agents, publishers and basically wonderful people.

On the broadcasts, you will…

• Hear the experiences and insights of 18 leading mind-body-spirit publishing professionals
• Learn lots of new things about spirit-based writing, publishing and promotion
• Have the opportunity to direct questions to the VIP panel via our webcast
• Find out how you can “Test Drive” Spirit Authors Virtual Coaching and Learning Experience for only $1
• Receive some great free gifts just for checking it out.

Can’t make it to the live broadcasts?

No problem! Register for the webcasts you want, and you will receive a link to download the MP3 after the event. But don’t leave it too long before you listen to them… we’ll be giving away some freebies that will be available only during the week of the Grand Opening launch.

Who are our VIPs?

• HOST: Lynn Serafinn, bestselling author, book promotion coach
• CO-HOST: Shelagh Jones, Spiritus Spiritual Marketing Directory
• Alan Seale, author, transformation coach
• Allison Maslan, number-1 selling author, homeopath, life strategy coach
• Caron Goode, award-winning author
• Dana Lynn Smith, The Savvy Book Marketer
• Daya Devi Doolin, award-winning author, spiritual counsellor
• Laurel Marshfield, editor, ghostwriter, proofreader
• Marion Ross, number-1 selling author and psychologist
• Richard Fitt, Authors Online, publisher for self-publishing authors
• Shannon Arnold Jackson, spirit-based writing coach
• Shelley Lieber, The Wordy Woman, Publishing Maven
• Stephanie Gunning, the Get a Book Deal Coach
• Tony Eldridge, Marketing Tips for Authors
• William Bloom, world-renowned spirituality author and speaker
• William Gladstone, author, top literary agent for leading mind-body-spirit authors
• Yvonne Perry, author, book marketing specialist
• One additional guest to be confirmed

CLICK HERE TO READ ALL ABOUT THE LINE UP AND REGISTER FOR FREEl

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season-  Part 4 of 5
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Well, as we move into the last week of the holiday season, we move into the penultimate article in our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (posted 27 Dec)
   
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money in today’s post
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Let’s face it. Sometimes we spend money during the holidays as if we had an unlimited supply of cash. But then, the bills start to arrive. And while we might have felt bright, bubbly and festive when we did our holiday shopping, when we begin to assess the financial “damages”, our euphoria can rapidly turn into stress, and even guilt, making it impossible for us to feel the joy of the season.

I’m pretty sure just about all of us have experienced such “buyer’s regret” at one time or another in our lives when we have purchased something and thought twice about it after the fact. At other times of the year, if we bought something and had regrets about it afterwards, we could usually return it if we wished. But with holiday spending, this isn’t so easy, as most of our spending is on gifts for others, or on holiday consumables like food, drink and entertainment. We cannot return these items and get our money back.

So, how can we relieve ourselves from this stress and guilt?

It would be all too easy to say, “Just don’t spend as much next year.” Equally, it would be all too easy to say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s only money. You can’t take it with you, so spend it when you’ve got it.”

But the problem is, it doesn’t work like that. To say, “Just don’t spend as much” is about as effective as telling a smoker or a drinker, “Just don’t smoke/drink as much.” The truth is we are probably spending for reasons ever so subtle, we might not even be aware of them. And unless we understand our true motivation for matters to do with money, no amount of “Why don’t you just do this or that” will change our habits. Money is not actually the cause of our stress and guilt. It is how we think about ourselves in relation to money that is the culprit.

In this article, I will look at three common ways our relationship with money can cause stress in many people, especially during the holidays:

1. Misunderstanding the true nature of money
2. Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
3. Using money as a distorted measurement of our worth

What money is and what it is not
Our culture of consumerism seems to induce the feeling that we are dependent upon money, just the same way an addict feels dependent upon a particular substance. But the truth is we are not dependent upon money; we have only given our power away to it and come to believe we are.

Money is actually a convenience we human beings have created to enable us to place a quantifiable value upon things, so we can easily trade for whatever we want and need to make our lives fuller and happier. Our monetary system has helped us move from needing to determine an equivalent value for every single item or service we might wish to exchange with each other. It also made life a heck of a lot more practical and enabled us to create the modern world in which we currently live. For instance, I seriously doubt I would be sitting writing this article if, every day, I had to lug around a bucket of milk with me every time I wanted to get a loaf of bread, or whatever I happened to need. I’d have no time for self-development or writing articles!

Seen from this perspective, we can realise that money is actually a creation, a tool and a convenience we humans invented to make our lives easier and to give us more time to grow at a level of consciousness, rather than simply focus on survival all the time. I would go so far as to say that money is a “divinely inspired” creation. How ironic it is, therefore, that so many of us get into a panic and regress to a sub-human “survival mode” when it comes to thinking about money. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from seeing the divine nature of money. Some are so fearful and so blinded to the divine nature of money that they try to use money to gain power over others, either physically or psychologically, thus creating more stress, fear and anxiety in the world (for the most part, all those annoying “cold calls” you get from call centres are dependent upon your anxieties around money, and their entire ethos is built upon a distorted view of what money is).

But when we can see the divine nature of money, we are able to develop a genuinely healthy relationship with it. We come to understand that it can help us create a world in which we have time to explore the Self and find fulfilment at the Soul level, in whatever form that might mean to us. If we relate to it for any other reason (i.e., “I need money to pay my bills,” etc.) we are apt to feel inferior to and resentful towards it, and will tend to push it away from us, making our feelings of lack even greater.

So take a deep breath and start to see money from this perspective: as a wonderful creation whose sole purpose is to bring freedom and enlightenment to all human beings (not just the so-called “rich”). If we are feeling imprisoned by money, rather than free, it does not mean we need more money; it means we have not yet fully understood our authentic relationship with it.

How our perspective determines our relationship with money

Just as in our relationships with other people, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with money. If we view it as the evil Task Master, it will treat us as if it were one. If we view money with the spirit of creativity and choice, it changes our relationship entirely. Here’s an example: Let’s say I am walking down the High Street with £20 in my pocket and I unexpectedly see something I have been looking for that normally costs £20 but is on sale today only for £10. It’s a great bargain, but I know I have to go grocery shopping, and I usually spend £20 on food. I have a choice in how I react to it:

• I could tell myself, “I can’t afford that. I don’t have enough money,” and feel disempowered and limited.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll buy it and I’ll just have to live on canned soup and stale bread,” and feel impoverished, lacking and guilty.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll put it on a credit card. What difference will an extra £10 make?” and delude myself that I am in control, making my dependency problem even worse.
• I could tell myself, “I want to spend my money on food today, and I’ll come back next week for that,” and feel more empowered and at choice.
• I could tell myself, “I’ve really wanted that a long time, so I’ll buy that today, and when I do my grocery shopping, I’ll save money by leaving out all the packaged meals and treats, and stock up on my favourite fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I’ll even make the fruit and veg taste especially delicious by looking up some new recipes for them on the Internet,” and not only feel at choice, but feel I have created an exciting solution for myself.

The key to remember is that the more we are able to see money as a creative tool for our own fulfilment, rather than something that is both limited and limiting in our lives, the more we are able to develop a healthy relationship with it and free ourselves from stress. In other words, when we view money as a free-flowing energy that is meant to flow into us and through us from the world, we can then begin to allow it to come into our lives. I discuss the attribute of “Allowing” in the section called “The Principle of Receiving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. In order for things to flow into us, we must allow them to enter. Money is no different. If we view money as something that has control over us, we will block the barriers to it coming into our lives, and continue the vicious cycle of disconnection, lack, and helplessness.

Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
Just as it is important to understand our relationship with money, it is equally important to understand the reasons why we spend money, especially during the holiday season. Are we spending for the “wrong” reasons? For instance, are we using spending as a means to express our love? Buying gifts to express love is fine, but in some cases, spending becomes a substitute for actual expression of love. I have known many people in my life who found it difficult to express love outwardly, so they would buy gifts as a way to say what they felt they could not say with words or other actions. The result was that they would feel good when they were shopping for the gifts, but afterwards, their mood would dip seriously low.

I’ve observed several reasons why people who spend for the wrong reasons experience this mood swing. First, they feel as though they are unappreciated or misunderstood by the person(s) for whom they bought the gifts. This is because, whether consciously or not, they had replaced their ability to express their inner feelings with external gifts. But no gift can ever adequately express our feelings. And while the recipient of the gift might feel truly grateful, the gift can never say what the gift giver is truly feeling inside. In other words, gifts can only ever be an enhancement, not a replacement, of our emotional expression. If we use them to express what we feel incapable of expressing, we are likely to experience the “dip”. We might even feel that our feelings are not being reciprocated by the other person, but when our emotions are not clearly expressed, we are less likely to get the kind of response we are seeking.

The flow of natural self-expression is an attribute of “The Principle of Giving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. The key to understanding “Giving” is in understanding where it originates. In order to learn how to give authentically, we must first be able to tap into the resources of our own inner Self. All true giving starts there. If we use gift buying to avoid the flow of energy from our inner self into the outer world, we will always feel misunderstood, frustrated and “poor”.

If you are experiencing this kind of “dip” after you have completed you holiday spending, I encourage you to explore the enquiries:

1. What I am trying to say through my spending?
2. What other means can I use to express myself more clearly and openly?
3. What holds me back from being clear and open?

Money as a distorted measurement of our own worth
If you finally want to unlock the straight-jacket in which you have put yourself over money, it is vital that you take a good, honest look at how much of your opinion of yourself is entangled with your financial wherewithal. Ask yourself, “How much of my self-worth do I determine according to how much money I have?” You might not be completely conscious of the fact that you are doing this. But if you have fleeting thoughts that your house, job, clothes, car or other possessions are not good enough compared to other peoples’, or that you “should” have better things just because it feels like the rest of the world has more than you do (as opposed to wanting things because they are a part of your inner-most dreams), then you might be measuring your self-worth through your money.

If you find that you routinely use credit cards to get things that make you feel better, but then you feel guilty and stressed every time the bills come around, you are more than likely allowing money to be a distorted measurement of your own worth, whether consciously or not. It is highly important that we tap into “The Principle of Being” (another Principle from my book The Garden of the Soul) to nurture this distortion back to health. In my Garden of the Soul workshop, one of the things I do is take people through a “peeling the onion” exercise where they strip away all the layers of ego until they find the core of the Self, that is not dependent upon time, circumstance, status, money or any other external factor. When we can tap into that resource, we become resilient when stress over money begins to tighten its grip around us.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Money Stresses into Joy

So many people on the media/Internet talk about “financial freedom”. Well, I have a different view of what this term means, and how to create it. So here’s your “Joy Formula” for this holiday to help you move from stress and anxiety over money and towards a more creative and empowered life:

• Explore the true nature of money as a creative energy that is here in the world to serve you and open up possibilities for self-awareness
• Understand the real reasons why you spend.
• Dive into the emotions you have been trying to express through your spending, and find ways to express them openly.
• Identify all the ways you have attached money to your own self-worth, and strip them away to find the true Self.
• Cut up your credit cards and learn to spend only what you have. This is possibly the most liberating thing I have ever done!
• Find creative ways to decrease your outgoings through refinancing and/or stopping spending on what is not bringing joy into your life.
• Sit down with a notepad write down all the things you could create that could result in more wealth flowing into your life.

And finally…

If you find yourself lying awake at night thinking about unpaid bills, stop your thoughts from running away, and start making a mental inventory of all the little things around your home that make your life fun and joyful. Don’t forget to count the blanket that is wrapped around you as one of them! Then, wrap the blanket more snugly around you, and nestle into a sweet slumber with a smile on your face.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
FEELINGS OF ISOLATION during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

SO sorry this is late! I actually thought I had posted it before Christmas. So, you’ll be getting 2 posts back-to-back, one today, one tomorrow.

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (in today’s post)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Monday 28 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Surviving Family Dramas during the Holiday Season
For many people, visiting with relatives during the holidays is a wonderful experience, because it allows them to reconnect with loved ones they might not ordinarily see during the rest of the year. But for many others, visiting with parents, siblings and extended family can bring out the worst in us. It’s as if we’ve travelled back in time. We might be the most powerful and respected person in our professional life, but somehow when we are around our childhood families, we change into blithering idiots. By dint of some inexplicable time-warp, we get caught up in the age-old “family dramas” that drive us absolutely batty and leave such a horrible aftertaste when we go back home to our “adult” world. Within minutes, we manage to regress into a juvenile version of ourselves that never shows up under any other circumstances. But what is worse is that we find it nearly impossible to get out of the age-old scripts we have played out since our youth.

Small wonder why I chose to speak about this in a Holiday Survival Guide!

Getting “hooked” into a role
When we get stuck into a family drama, I call it being “hooked.” The reason why we get hooked into our family dramas lies in the term “drama” itself. Think of what a drama is. It’s not merely a judgemental word; it’s actually a very accurate description of what is taking place. A drama is a complex story with complex characters. And our family dramas are no different. When we are hooked, it means we have taken on the role of one of these characters. And, yes, there are cliché roles in which people tend to be cast. In my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”, I identify some of the typical roles people tend to play, such as “the good girl”, “the black sheep,” “the peacemaker”, “the clown”, “the bully”, “the victim”, “the martyr”, “the loser”, “the rebel”, “the misfit”, and so many others. Combine these with the added subtleties of our identity as being the only, the youngest, the eldest or the middle child (or girl/boy), and we find we really have created some pretty complex characters for ourselves.

Just as a drama on the stage or screen is dependent upon the chemistry and interaction (even if explosive) between the characters, so are our family dramas. Think of your favourite television drama or soap opera, and reflect on how some characters just can’t seem to stop triggering each other, whether passionately, violently or in some other way. So when we find ourselves shouting at someone, “I’m never like this except when I get around you,” it’s actually true. Our role is like a chemical reaction to the stimulus of coming in contact with another character in the play. Just as a good actor can play many different roles, from villain to lover to hero, with equal expertise when given the right script, so too we play different roles when we are working different “scripts” in our day-to-day lives. But the problem is, family scripts tend to get “written” very early in our development, and unless we become aware that we, and our family members, are all reading from the same old script year in and year out, we are unlikely to rewrite it.

How to stop it?
Well, the very first thing needed is to be able to recognise when you are hooked in a role. Simply by recognising your “default characters” when you slip into them can go a long way to making a shift away from them. How do you recognise it? Basically, if you feel weak, out of control, disconnected, ashamed, inauthentic, misunderstood, or incapable of expressing yourself, you might well be hooked in a role. Anger in and of itself is not necessarily a symptom, because anger can also come from an authentic, self-aware state of consciousness. The key is to be truthful about how connected and loving to your own Self you feel. If you do not feel connected and loving to Self, look deeper to see if you can recognise an underlying role.

Once you recognise and acknowledge you are playing one of your old, disempowering roles, notice what kinds of things trigger you. Don’t lay the blame (either outwardly or within your own mind) on another person. Remember: they are just as “hooked” as you are, and if you get entangled in the blame game, you will get nowhere. Instead, take note of the words and scenarios that tend to get you hooked. Really get to know what your triggers are, and take ownership of your reactions to them. It’s actually the most empowering thing you can do.

Realigning
Once you start to recognise your role and identify your triggers, the next thing to do is to practise “stepping aside” when triggers might be tossed your way. I call this “realigning.” If your “drama partner” hurls words at you that traditionally get you worked up, learn how to watch the words as if watching a film. One strategy I teach my clients is to use an anchoring word like, “STOP!” in your mind when you are on the verge of getting hooked. Silently, tell yourself, “Stop!” Some clients also like to use a hand gesture (like touching their thumb to their middle finger, or lightly touching their solar plexus) to bring them to that place of “stopping”. Then, take a breath and mentally step out of the “frame” of this drama, observing it without reacting.

This technique alone can be enough for some, but for others it only delays the outburst until later, because there is so much pent up anger and resentment that it simply has to come out. The aim of stopping is not to make you stuff your emotions or become submissive. It is to give you a breath, so you can bring the situation into your consciousness, and thus give you the ability to take control of your own choices. But if you are really, really hooked into your own drama, it is vital to explore the subtle forces inside of you that keep you attached to the role you play.

Why we cling to a role even if it makes us unhappy
Here’s one common example. If we find ourselves locked into a “victim” role or any role where we believe ourselves to be the “wronged one”, we might unconsciously be gripping very tightly onto that role because it satisfies a part of our identity. Why in the world would we wish to identify with being a victim? Simple. It makes us “right” and another person “wrong.” “But,” you might ask, “I am not a mean, vindictive person; why would I want to make someone else ‘wrong’?” The answer is because we feel weak and powerless inside. And when we feel powerless, this feeling of being “right” might well be the only glimmer of strength we are able to feel within ourselves. So, it makes perfect sense that we will hold onto this role for dear life because we have become so detached from ourselves we cannot see who we are without it. Basically, we are afraid. We fear our lives, if not our very existence, will become meaningless without the shield of being “right”.

And remember, if someone in your life always needs to be right (and it doesn’t matter if they are playing the role of a victim or a bully), that person is actually living with great fear. And here’s the key: when you can step outside the drama just long enough to see how much fear that person is feeling, you are far less likely to attack them or fear them yourself. And the instant you have stepped outside the drama, even for a second or two, and felt this compassion for the other person, you have begun to rewrite the script of your family drama. And that is when real relationships can begin.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Family Drama into Joy

Here’s a simple Joy Formula for you to try out this holiday season:

• If you are feeling misunderstood, defensive, victimised or out of control, you are probably “hooked”. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else. Instead, congratulate yourself for recognising it.

• Take note of the “triggers” that get you hooked. Again, don’t fall into the blame game. It only gives your power away. Instead, take ownership for what you choose to do with those triggers.
• Use a silent mental anchoring word like “Stop” and/or hand gesture to break your pattern of reacting to the trigger.
• Breathe!
• Mentally step out of the scene and start to rewrite the script. Here are some ideas. Bad script formula: “You always make me feel x, y, z”
  • Bad script formula: “You’re always so x, y, z”
  • Good script formulas (in the right tone of voice, of course!): “I hear that you feel a, b, c when I said/did, x, y, z. What would really help me is to know what you would like me to say/do so you don’t feel this way” -OR- “When you said/did x, y, z, I feel a, b, c. I would really help me is if you said/did q, r, s.”
  • Note that what you DON’T want to say is that the person “made you” feel a certain way, or that the person is the problem. Focus on specific things the person said or did, tell them how the words or deed impact you (not making it their fault) and tell/ask them for what you want. This way, the person knows exactly what isn’t working for you, and you would like from them. Bear in mind that the other person might continue to play out the drama and not react very positively at first. If that happens, just keep rewriting the script. Believe me, if you do it enough times, the drama breaks and you start to speak to each other quite differently.

Being hooked by our unconscious roles and “old scripts” can frequently be so deep-rooted that people cannot easily identify them, even though they know something within them is causing much pain and heartache. The process of moving from unconsciousness to clarity and awareness is beyond the scope of this article, but if you want to explore it further, I do invite you to contact me for a consultation by filling in a request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

I hope the information in this article has given you some useful tips for achieving greater joy over the holidays when you spend time with your families.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
STRESS OVER MONEY (!) during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out TOMORROW.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Author Patrick Dennis somewhat sarcastically referred to the winter holidays as “The Joyous Season” in his 1960s book of the same name. Most of us inwardly believe that Christmas and the winter holidays are indeed meant to be joyous. But in actuality, many people have a rough time during the holiday season, for many reasons.

Because the holidays seem to be such challenging and sometimes transitional periods in our lives, this month I decided to have a look at what I think are the “Top 5 Blues” that affect so many people during the holidays, along with why we get them, and how to turn them around into Joy. Here are the top 5 that came to mind:

• Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) in today’s issue
• Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (coming Wed 9 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sun 27 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Mon 28 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thus 31December

Over the next 12 days, I’ll be examining each of these “blue areas”, give you some tips from other great thinkers, and offer a few of my own suggestions for turning the winter “blues” into cheery multi-coloured mind-body-spirit holiday sparkles. Today, I’ll be talking about SAD– Seasonal Affective Disorder. The findings might surprise you!

Beating Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”).
SAD is a condition that affects some people during the winter months causing them to feel a bit blue, low in energy, or basically “down in the dumps.” But what causes it?

Here in the UK, I recently attended talk by the world-renowned nutritionist Phillip Day who said that SAD actually is caused by a lack of Vitamin D, owing to the decreased amount of available sunshine during the winter months. Through some research, I found that the link between Vitamin D and SAD is widely recognised accepted by the general scientific community.

The truth about Vitamin D
Vitamin D is not really a vitamin, but actually a hormone the body produces, which plays a key role in so many vital functions of the body, and deficiency has been linked to an array of diseases, including diabetes and cancer. Taking a simple 1-hour walk outdoors during the warmer months is generally adequate to keep us stocked with our daily quotient of Vitamin D, which is first absorbed through exposed skin, and then assimilated into the bloodstream.

So if sunshine helps create Vitamin D, and Vitamin D gets rid of the winter “blues”, is “busting” Seasonal Affective Disorder just an easy matter of getting out into the sunshine during the winter? Well yes… and no.

During these dark, winter months, not only is there much less sunlight during the daytime, but also the angle of the sun is such that Vitamin D absorption by the body is not as efficient as it is in other times of the year. This is especially true for people who live above 40 degrees latitude, which includes a huge portion of the US and most of Europe. To make matters worse, the likelihood for Vitamin D deficiency is even greater amongst people with darker skin who live in these latitudes, because their pigmentation was naturally designed to block the sun’s rays more than that of people with fairer skin, as their ethnic roots are from sunnier climates.

Hmmm… Kind of makes your realise how much our bodies love to live in synch with the Earth and the Sun, doesn’t it?

Can I cheat?
You might ask the question, “If we cannot get enough Vitamin D during the winter, can we ’stock up’ on it over the summer when there is more sunlight?” Answer: Nope. Vitamin D lives in the body only for about two weeks. So two weeks’ summer holiday in sunny Spain last June will not cover your Vitamin D requirements during your English Christmas six months later. No, if you suffer from SAD during the winter in the northern latitudes, the best advice nutritionists are currently giving is to take Vitamin D supplements (do some research on the dosages, because I have read varying opinions about this).

Why is Lynn talking about this?
Ok… it’s true I’m not a scientist, doctor or nutritionist. So why am I talking about this in a coaching newsletter? Well, it’s because I believe, with every grain of my being, that our overall happiness and wellbeing is dependent upon the integration of mind, body and spirit. And something we, in this modern era, forget too frequently is that we are basically the children of the solar system and are not only physically connected to and dependent upon the Sun, the Earth, the Moon and other celestial entities, but that our ultimate happiness depends upon our being emotionally and spiritually connected to them as well.

But it is my observation that, in our modern world, we have become so dissociated from the most ubiquitous presence in our daily lives (the Sun) that we are even a bit “sun-o-phobic”. We smother our bodies with sunscreen, believing the sun to have “deadly rays”, forgetting that it is actually our link to our own Source. While I am not minimising care needed to be taken with regards to things like skin cancer, I do think our modern relationship with the Sun is poorly defined.

“Working Lunch Disorder”
Here’s an example of what I mean. If you combine our “sun-o-phobia” with our modern “workaholic” ethical code, you come up with the modern blight known as the “working lunch”. Personally, I think the “working lunch” is responsible for the vast majority of work-related stresses and other ailments in our modern world. But still, hardly anyone DARES to kick the habit. I can’t tell you how many times I have requested my clients to get OUT of the office daily and go outdoors during their lunch breaks. And by “break” I don’t mean a 20-minute dash to the bank! I mean an actual BREAK. You’d think they’d leap at the chance to become less stressed… but noooooooo…. you wouldn’t believe the MOUNTAIN of excuses I hear:

• “My boss wouldn’t like it.”
• “If I did that, I wouldn’t get my work done.”
• “People depend on me. Things would fall apart if I took an hour off.”
• “I don’t eat lunch anyway. I just grab a granola bar and coffee, and eat while I reply to my emails.”
• “Most of the time, I’m so busy I don’t remember it’s lunchtime until it’s like 3pm, so I just keep going until it’s time to go home.”
• “I’ve gotten used to it.” (Yeah, right. I call this the “frog in the pot syndrome”)

I find it utterly astonishing how such a simple thing as getting away from our desks during lunch hour can be one of the most challenging habits for people to cultivate. It is a plight of the modern age, and would never have happened in the past, when people didn’t have cars, had to work the land, etc. But nowadays, it can be a real challenge to shift our perspective so we recognise that our bodies, hearts and minds are CRAVING connection to source and that lack of this connection can actually cause both physical and emotional imbalances. (Ironically, many people might blame our troubles on our boss, but the truth is, our boss is in exactly the same predicament).

Getting back to SAD, the point is, if you are already not in the frame of mind to go out into the sunshine on a regular basis even when the weather is nice, warm and sunny, you are even less likely to get outdoors when the weather is colder, damper and darker.

My own experiences
Back when I first moved to London, I do believe I suffered from SAD. I commuted 5 hours a day on the London underground and I was indoors nearly all the time. I felt really low, my diet was abysmal and I walked with a stooped posture (Vitamin D is also essential to the proper absorption of Calcium, so it is essential for healthy bone growth).

Since moving to Bedford 4 ½ years ago, my lifestyle has changed radically. I’ve made a habit of walking outdoors at least 1 hour a day, at least 5 days a week, even if it’s raining or snowing. I love walking in the crisp air (provided it’s not TOO cold). Upon the suggestion of my good friend Fran Stockley, a nutritional therapist, I try not to wear gloves, hat or scarf when I’m outside unless I really need them, in order to enable better absorption of the sunlight. I also take plant-source supplements, including about 400 IU of Vitamin D every day.

The result?
While I might sometimes succumb to seasonal illnesses (see part 2 of this “Holiday Survival Guide” later this week), I never get “SAD” in the winter months. My energy and enthusiasm are pretty much unstoppable. One of my former clients recently said to me, “You must be the happiest person I know.” I had to laugh because she said this to me on one of my more STRESSED days! So if I seem happy in comparison to others even when I am not at my own 100%, you can see how much room for improvement there is amongst the people she knows.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning SAD into Joy

Ok, at a practical level, if you suffer from SAD and you want to bust the holiday blues this year, the experts tell us to get out and walk in the bright, crisp air every day for a minimum of 30-60 minutes, and to get yourself a good Vitamin D supplement from a natural food source.

But at a deeper, internal level, if you suffer from SAD, try to view it as an indication that the Earth and Sun are “calling” you. SAD is their way of telling you they want you to come out of your dark, air-tight cubicle and connect with them. They are saying, “Come out and play with us!” I think it is high time for us human beings to listen to them, so we can inherit the wisdom they have for us.

What better friends could you have during the holiday season, or indeed at any time than Father Sky and Mother Earth? They will never abandon you. If you ever feel lonely or depressed, just look up into the sky, or down beneath your feet, and you will find them there. Earth and Sun are your most intimate friends, who really KNOW you body, mind and spirit. They with you at every moment.

AND… when you feel genuinely connected at every moment, how can you have the blues? It is within this connection that you will find your Joy.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Seasonal Illnesses during the Holiday Season. Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!  Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Information Sources
1. Live talk bay Phillip Day on 26 November 2009, Milton Keynes. Phillip Day is the founder of an independent research organisation called “Credence”, whose stated goal is “to report properly annotated and verified information
that enables you to make wise health decisions.” http://www.credence.org/

SIDE NOTE: Phillip Day has agreed to be a guest on my radio show sometime in 2010; be sure you watch my updates around March or so. If you are interested in health, you won’t want to miss him.

2. Turner, Natasha, ND. 2009. “Sleeping too Much? You Could be SAD.” Accessed from TrueStar Health website on 5 December 2009 at http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm_archives13ML3P1A8.html

3. Reinagel, Monica. July 2008. “Can you store up enough vitamin D in the summer to last you though winter?” Accessed from “The Nutrition Data Blog” on 5 December 2009 at
http://blog.nutritiondata.com/ndblog/2008/07/can-you-store-u.html

4. Gombart, Adrian. November 2009. “Multiple health concerns surface as winter, vitamin D deficiencies arrive.” Accessed from Eureka Alert on 5 December 2009 at http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-11/osu-mhc112309.php

5. Landers, Susan. April 2009. “OM studies boost in vitamin D requirements”. Accessed from “American Medical News” on 5 December 2009 at http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2009/04/20/hlsa0420.htm

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

PRESS RELEASE: WOBURN, BEDFORDSHIRE – 18 November 2009 – Today at Woburn Sculpture Gallery, Bedfordshire Businesswomen (BBW), a not-for-profit networking organisation for women who live and/or have business interests in the Bedfordshire area, now in its 21^st year, announced their annual business awards for outstanding achievement in various categories. Amongst the six winners for the 2009 awards, which were sponsored by Barclays Bank, was Lynn Serafinn, a Bedford-based community leader, transformation coach, personal development trainer, public speaker, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Ms Serafinn received the BBW award for “Working within a Community Organisation or Not-for-Profit Organisation” owing to her work as Founder of the Global Wellness Circle, and also as the Chair of Transition Bedford, a new initiative that is part of the worldwide Transition Network addressing climate change and fossil fuel dependency.

In spring 2008, Ms Serafinn noticed that there was a large faction of practitioners in the holistic health and wellbeing industry who felt isolated both professionally and socially, having no way to promote their businesses or to educate the public about the benefits of living a more natural, holistic lifestyle. In response to this, she formed the Global Wellness Circle (GWC) in May 2008, first in Bedford, but within a few months it rapidly expanded to other parts of the UK. GWC is a community of independent holistic practitioners and members of the general public, whose primary aims are to provide the public with information, education, support and access to a range of quality services and products in holistic and natural health, as well as to provide a truly inclusive social environment fostering open-mindedness, light-heartedness, fun and overall positivity, thus creating an atmosphere of holistic wellness. Now with five chapters (Bedford, Cambridge, Northampton, Milton Keynes and Hemel Hempstead, with another proposed in Dunstable for 2010), and having grown to a wider community of nearly 500 people in central UK, GWC is currently in the process of applying to become a CIC (Community Interest Company/Social Enterprise), with the aim of expanding their ability to help the wider community lead happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Being truly passionate about helping people feel greater connection to themselves, to each other and to the Earth, Ms Serafinn had the opportunity to expand the parameters of her community work when, in June 2009, she was asked to serve as Chair of the newly formed Transition Bedford, a volunteer community initiative whose objective is to create a plan for a sustainable Bedford, addressing everything from climate change and energy, to education and community. Transition Bedford is part of the larger Transition Town Network of over 1500 towns, villages and urban neighbourhoods worldwide, which is a grass-roots initiative addressing the shift away from fossil fuel dependency and towards a sustainable environment by taking definitive, community-driven action in response to climate change and the impending impact of peak oil upon our lifestyle.

As Chair of Transition Bedford, Lynn leads awareness-raising events, community meetings and steering group meetings, and represents the initiative in a variety of public settings. Borrowing from her skills as an online promotion expert and personal development trainer, she also created and maintains their blog, coordinates their online social networking, writes articles and media releases, and offers both free and low-cost training to the public.

She says, “The link between the Global Wellness Circle and Transition Bedford is really pretty seamless. GWC in central UK can easily provide a link between the health and wellbeing sector and the Transition Town initiatives in our local regions, by helping society make the transition to a healthier lifestyle in which we relearn many of the human skills, such as herbal medicine, natural remedies, organic farming and food production, that enable us to be well, rather than compelling us to invent new technologies to fight disease.

Ms Serafinn is no newcomer to community work. Originally from the US, she worked in the 1990s with the Interfaith Action Coalition in Phoenix Arizona, helping to coordinate large-scale events that crossed cultural and religious boundaries and brought together thousands of members of the community who would not otherwise have been connected. In 1997, she was one of the founders of a worldwide non-profit organisation called GOKUL, which sponsored and coordinated world lecture tours of some of India’s leading spiritual teachers. In that capacity, she also created and managed their website, and was the anonymous audio transcriber/editor of several books on eastern mysticism published by that organisation.

Lynn is also no stranger to receiving accolades. Coming from a long history in the music industry, she was the recipient of the National Defence Foreign Language Fellowship in the 1980s, which enabled her to study music and philosophy in India, and she co-wrote and produced a number-1 electronic dance club track in the 1994. In 2005, she received the Microsoft UK Innovative Teacher of the Year Award for her creative use of technology in the Further Education sector. In 2007, her coaching company Create-a-Life won the “Best of Bedford Business Awards” for the best Health and Beauty Company, after only 7 months of practice. And most recently, her self-published book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self became an Amazon bestseller in both the US and the UK when it was released in April 2009, outselling such prominent authors in the same category as Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle and Neal Donald Walsch. As a result, she is in demand as a speaker and coach on the topic of self-publishing and book marketing, and has also received countless letters from readers, thanking her for the healing her writing has brought them.

In addition to her community work in central UK, Lynn extends her influence to people all over the world via her weekly Internet radio show “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”. She says her core belief is that every human being is the hero of his or her own life, and that all facets of her work are aimed at helping others unlock their natural-born hero.

Transition Bedford, whose official launch event is being planned for mid-2010, will be working closely together with groups like Zero Carbon Castle, Sustainable Oakley, Goldington Golden Gardens, the Global Wellness Circle, Mile End Allotments and many others, as well as with Bedford College through their Education for Sustainable Development programme. The long-term goal will be to develop educational programmes, skills training and community projects that will not only raise public awareness, but will also help the town make the transition towards a more vibrant and self-reliant community in such areas of food and energy production, natural health, economy and environment.

“Our approach to climate change is not all doom and gloom, believe me,” says Ms Serafinn. “The real purpose of Transition Bedford is to help people feel uplifted and connected, and to allow them to see how essential a factor they are in the revitalisation of their town, and the world in general.”

Transition Bedford invite any and all members of the greater Bedford community, whether individuals, groups or businesses, to contact Lynn Serafinn at lynn [at] lynnserafinn [dot] com and get involved. You can also visit their blog at www.transitionbedford.org

###

ARTICLE REFERENCES

Bedfordshire Businesswomen website: http://www.beds-businesswomen.org/

TRANSITION BEDFORD CONTACT INFO:
Contact: Lynn Serafinn
Email: lynn [at] lynnserafinn [dot] com
Web: http://www.transitionbedford.org
Forum: http://groups.google.com/group/transition-bedford
Tel: 44+ (0)845 880 25 28

TRANSITION TOWN NETWORK:
Web: http://www.transitionnetwork.org

LYNN SERAFINN CONTACT INFO (AUTHOR, SPEAKER, TRAINING):
Email:lynn [at] lynnserafinn [dot] com
Web: http://www.lynnserafinn.com

LYNN SERAFINN COACHING AND TRAINING ENQUIRIES:
Email: info [at] create-a-life [dot] co [dot] uk
Web: http://www.create-a-life.co.uk

–        END –

Apart from being the one day of the year where parents surrender all attempts to keep their children on a healthy diet, Halloween is also the day where we, both children and adults, get to dress up and make believe we are someone or something else for a day. What we choose could be our alter ego, our wildest fantasy or our scariest nightmare. I believe we can often learn a lot about ourselves by looking back at what we wanted to be on Halloween when we were children.

What do our Halloween costumes reveal?

I remember the very first Halloween outfit that I selected for myself when I was about 4 years old. My mother took me to the shop to look at costumes. She suggested a very pretty “Fairy Princess” costume, which was a long pastel pink and white dress with lace and ruffles, accessorised with a sparkly crown. While I liked the sparkly crown, the frilliness and the colour of the dress didn’t appeal to me. Instead, I opted for the “Gypsy Princess” costume. The colours were vivid—strips of emerald green, rich magenta, bright gold and deep purple fabric layered atop a flowing black taffeta skirt. The top was a white peasant blouse and instead of a crown, it had a brightly printed headscarf and big dangly “jewellery”. It was not at all “frilly”, and seemed exotic to me. I loved to dance and spin around and around in it, watching the skirt fly in billowy circles around me.

So, fifty years on, what can I understand about myself when I look back at this? I can see that even from a very early age I was showing my natural inclination towards the arty and bohemian side of life. And years later, I indeed would become a musician and a writer, with a tendency to move from place to place every few years (my father always called me a gypsy). While I do consider myself to be extremely feminine, I was never what you would call a “girlie girl”, and to this day I simply cannot wear pastels!

What were some of the Halloween (or other fancy dress) costumes you chose for yourself when you were a child? Don’t worry if they were scary ghosts or monsters. Maybe these characters were helping you express your natural sense of humour and fun, or maybe they were expressions of your inner courage in the face of fear. Maybe your costume expressed a hidden side of you that was not able to express itself any other way. Or maybe, your mom or dad picked out your costume for you and it didn’t express you at all! Even if that was the case, it can tell us a lot about the history of our self-expression.

What can our childhood make-believe tells us about ourselves?

Halloween is not the only time we make believe as children, of course. How many of us had favourite characters we pretended to be when we played either alone or with others? In my book The Garden of the Soul, I share one of my make-believe characters—a talking parrot named Polly who was the navigator of a space ship, taking human beings on journeys through the Milky Way. In other games, we would sometimes play “school” and I would be the teacher. Other times, we played “church” and I would be the priest. So what else can I learn about my natural personality from my childhood make-believe? Looking back, I can see that I was expressing my natural eccentricity (I was a parrot and not a human being!) and my love for exploration. I could see I was becoming the navigator—the one who would lead others to new things. I was revealing my inclination towards being an explorer, a traveller, a teacher and even a spiritual guide. There is so much we can learn about ourselves when we look back at how we played as children.

Take a moment to think back to your own childhood. What “make-believe” characters and personalities did you naturally step into? To what degree were they expressions of who you really were inside, or who you wished (or knew) you would become? What did these characters say about you at your core? What values or qualities did these characters reveal about you? Were you a super hero fighting for justice? A spy who loved risk and intrigue? A time traveller fascinated by the past or the future? A space traveller curious about what makes the Universe tick? A pirate seeking adventure or treasure? A mommy or daddy expressing family values and love?

The roles we play as adults

As children, making believe is an important tool to help us discover, explore and express who we are. But unfortunately, when many of us grow up, we continue to take on “costumes” and “masks” in our in our family, social group or work environment that, rather than express who we are, limit our authentic expression and natural personality. We take on “roles” where we “play” a certain part in our daily dramas. Examples of roles might be “the good girl”, “the wounded one”, “the sensible one” or “the peace maker”. And there are so many more besides these. Just like putting on a Halloween costume or making believe, when we step into these roles, we “become” them, and often find ourselves restricted and frustrated as a result. For instance, if you have taken on the role of the “peace maker” in your family or your workplace, you might find yourself without a voice, as you are continually trying to balance the imbalances of others around you. The irony is that you yourself might never feel peaceful, and your efforts might actually create more unrest and lack of connection in your environment. If you take on the role of “the wounded one”, you might find it difficult to become independent because you might come to believe that you need the continual support of other people or things in order to feel safe. The irony of course is that this neediness can in fact end up pushing away the very support you believe you need, only reinforcing your feelings of being “wounded”.

When we put on a Halloween costume or making believe, we know we are “playing”. But unfortunately, many of us are unaware of the roles we play as adults. We intuitively sense that something is not quite right but we cannot put our finger on it. Our roles can be difficult to recognise if we have been stuck in them since childhood and we don’t know any differently. One of the first things I help clients see when they come to me for coaching are these unconscious roles or scripts they might be playing our in their heads, that are making their lives unfulfilling in one way or another. Somewhat playfully, I call these roles and scripts “monsters”, and I teach clients how to recognise and shift the monsters both in one-to-one coaching and in my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”. The good news is that over time, it is possible to become conscious of the unconscious roles we play; and as we bring them into our awareness, we can move away from feeling trapped by them, and towards being able to choose whether or not we wish to continue wearing these “costumes” if we feel they are not serving our greater good.

Taking off the masks

People sometimes ask what I mean by the term “personal transformation”. Basically it simply means bringing what was once in the darkness (unconscious and unaware) into the light (conscious and aware). When we bring our shadow into the light of awareness, we step into the person we really are, and cease playing roles that do not reflect the light of our inner Self.

While personal transformation is essential for our Self actualisation and ultimate happiness, it does come with a caveat. It is important to understand that if our role is something we tend to “default” to in our family, social or work situations, chances are many other members in that scenario are also playing their own roles, without awareness of the fact they are doing so. And if you suddenly become aware and step out of your “assigned” role, it can really rock the boat! Imagine that everyone in your life is on stage in a play. You have a part to play and you have played it for years. Then suddenly, you start reading the lines of the hero, when you are “supposed” to be playing the villain, or the servant or the milkman. Of course, the whole cast would become confused wondering who they are supposed to “play” now. All hell would break loose on stage!

When you decide to take off your mask in life, a similar scenario might take place if the people around you are not at a similar level of conscious evolution as you are. In other words, your shifting away from your previously unconscious, disempowering roles can frequently confuse and even anger your family, friends and work colleagues. With time, most will adjust, but occasionally people cannot or will not adjust to the new “you” (which is actually the “true you”) and you might actually “lose” people along the way, or at the very least be the recipient of their judgments and criticism. While this is a necessary risk we must take in the name of finding fulfilment, the thought of the ramifications of that risk can sometimes be really scary. For many of us, lack of awareness coupled by the fear of losing money, job, friends or family are the primary reasons why we stay stuck playing the roles we privately hate the most.

Transformation takes self-awareness, courage and self-honesty. But even more, it takes self-love and commitment to your own wellbeing. In order to step out of the costumes that do not reflect who you really are, you must be willing to remain steadfast in your commitment to your own happiness during the process of transition, even if it means risking a period of unsettledness in your relationships or lifestyle. This risk is essential before you can step into your true “costume”—where you are the hero of your own life.

Stepping into your superhero costume

Those of you who follow my work know that it is my firm belief that every human being is born the “hero” of his/her own life. And it is my belief that when you finally step into your Authentic Self, whatever that might be, you become a genuine superhero, and that this “costume” is the only one that is meant for you.

How do you know you have finally stepped into your superhero costume? It has nothing to do with saving the world or leaping over tall buildings. When you feel inwardly empowered, natural and free, you are the superhero. When you genuinely feel seen and heard, you are the superhero. When you feel connected to Self, other and the Universe, you are the superhero. When you are smiling and having FUN, you are the superhero.

In short, when you know you are being YOU, you are the superhero. And as you know, a real superhero is capable of great things.

Every day, I express my gratitude for being able to live a life that is in alignment with the person I know I was born to be. I have finally thrown away the countless costumes of the past that did not serve me, and I now wear one costume—the ME costume! And you know what? The “ME” costume still contains elements of that bold, colourful, dancing Gypsy Princess and the Polly the Space Navigator Parrot. In all I do, I express that same freedom and creativity that I knew was my Authentic Self when I was a child. But of course the “ME costume is so much greater than that. And make no mistake—your “YOU” costume is truly a coat of unlimited colours.

So this Halloween, as you don your holiday costume, or next week when you return to work, and step into your default role at your job, ask yourself how well these costumes express your innermost being. And if the answer is “Not very well”, perhaps it is time to explore a different fancy dress shop, and try on some new costumes for a change. But if the answer is “Yes, completely!” you just might be living the life of a superhero.

May you step into your YOU costume, and your every day be Halloween, filled with treats.

Lynn Serafinn
31 Oct 2009

P.S.: The title of this article is taken from one of my FAVOURITE songs by Ministry, which really reflects the whole idea of what we see/show of ourselves to others. Hear the track on my Blip.FM page at: http://blip.fm/~fo6cr Have fun!

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self.

Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE  no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html