On the show, we discussed my own history of depression and post traumatic stress, from a very early age. I shared my own definition of “depression” as being “grief for the loss of a part of ourselves.”  We discussed how this definition opens up the door to dive into the pain deeply, and to honour and acknowledge our grief completely. We discussed how depression is actually a gift from the Universe to tell us that something needs our attention, and that it is ultimately an invitation for us to come back to who we truly are.

I also shared my experience with post traumatic stress, and how it can sometimes trigger depression. But, I explained, the two are quite different. While depression is an expression of grief and loss, trauma is an expression of fear. When we are afraid, it is common to respond in either a passive or aggressive fashion, whereas grief can manifest in quite different ways. I called upon listeners in the audience who believe they are going through depression to examine whether they are feeling grief or fear (or both), because sometimes there is a trauma that needs to be acknowledged and addressed.

At the end of the show, I shared my own personal message about reaching a place within ourselves where we can take a metaview of our lives, and see all of these circumstances and the emotions which arise from them as part of the greater “hero’s story” of our lives.

After the call was over, Marifran wrote to me to tell me that several listeners on the show had written to her responding strongly to the content of the show. Marifran sent me these written responses she received from listeners who suffered with depression at some point in their lives:

“I liked the definition of grieving over loss of self so we can feel the emotion.
You have to find out who the self is that you lost.” – CG

“I resonate to Lynn’s words that depression is there to get your attention.
It does not mean something about you.” – NB

“I was enthralled.”

“I am ecstatic with sheer joy and happy tears.”

“This idea of being given permission to grieve is so powerful.
Like Lynn I believe we are in a chronically undergrieved society.” – JS

“Lynn’s description of her experience is my experience.
I was so excited and grateful to hear what I’ve known expressed so clearly and directly.” – SJ

Needless to say, I was moved by the response.

Because the things discussed on this show proved to be so powerful, and this message is so important, I wanted to share it with you. You can hear the full 1-hour interview on the player below:

If you are receiving this post via email,
and cannot see the player, you many listen to it online at:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/marifran/2010/07/27/the-spiritual-journey-of-depression

Be sure to check out Marifran’s show on August 10, 2010,
when she is interviewing Vrinda Pendred about the journey of OCD.

AND… don’t forget to tune in to my own show,
“Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”
Wednesdays at 6PM UK/ 1PM Easternon BlogTalkRadio

http://blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

About Lynn Serafinn

Lynn Serafinn is a an award-winning transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced two #1-selling book campaigns, and another #2-selling campaign, in just the past few months. She is also the creator of Spirit Authors, which offers training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. To contact Lynn for coaching, campaign management or media appearances, please fill in the form at http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

That’s what I imagine it will feel like to the lucky person who wins a wonderful contest being offered by coach Patrick Ryan, author of the upcoming book Awakened Wisdom: a Guide to Reclaiming Your Brilliance, which is coming to Amazon on Tuesday April 20, 2010.

As part of the celebration of the launch of the book, Patrick is giving away a $3000 “Awakened Wisdom Experience” (AWE) to one person. The AWE-some Grand Prize includes 4 private 1-to-1 personal coaching sessions with Patrick, a personally signed copy of the book Awakened Wisdom AND 2 free VIP passes to attend his 3-day Awakened Wisdom Workshop anywhere in the world.

Patrick is a world renowned executive coach, leadership trainer and spiritual teacher. For more than three decades, he has studied and practiced the way of an awakened life with spiritual masters and indigenous teachers all over the planet, and even served as a Buddhist monk in a monastery in Burma. His depth of spiritual knowledge, combined with his natural, down-to-earth personality, make him both a powerful and accessible coach and teacher.

Anyone who receives this exceptional prize should ready for a complete “inner beauty” makeover. And remember: there are TWO free passes to the Awakened Wisdom workshop, which means you can share this gift with a friend or loved one.

To enter the AWE contest, you only need to answer one question:

“What will you give the world when you reclaim your brilliance?”

A great question, don’t you think?

To enter, you must submit your answer to this question BEFORE April 9^th. To get started, go to: http://www.awakenedwisdom.com/Public/Amazon/booklaunch/index.cfm

To qualify, you will be asked to sign up for a “launch reminder” for Patrick’s book, Awakened Wisdom first. As soon as you’ve done that, you’ll be taken to a page with a link to the contest entry page.

A list of semi-finalists will be announced on April 12^th. The Grand Prize winner will be decided by public vote (so be sure to get your friends and family on board to support you!).

And…

Even if you don’t want to enter the contest, do please check out Patrick’s book Awakened Wisdom: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Brilliance on that same page. If you scroll down on that page, you’ll see that dozens of authors, coaches, entrepreneurs and spiritual teachers have come together to celebrate the launch of this profound and practical book, by giving away over 40 very special gifts to anyone who buys the book on April 20. And I am one of them!

To everyone who buys Patrick’s book, I will be giving away FOUR free audio meditations from my Garden of the Soul Workshop. These are very special meditations I have never offered before anywhere, unless you happen to have taken my workshop. I hope you’ll like them.

Best of luck to all of you who enter the contest. Please keep me posted if you win, so I can announce it in my upcoming newsletter. I’d also love to hear your answers to this great question!

Warm wishes,
Lynn Serafinn

My Twitter asteroids:
http://twitter.com/LynnSerafinn
http://twitter.com/SpiritAuthors

My Facebook galaxies:
http://facebook.com/LynnSerafinn
http://facebook.com/VoteLynnSerafinnNextTopSpiritualAuthor
http://facebook.com/SpiritAuthors
http://facebook.com/gardenofthesoul

Twitter changed my life. Let me tell you how.

AND I am going to attempt to tell this story in lines of 140 characters or less.

It all started when I launched my book “The Garden of the Soul” in April 2009.

After a year of mastering this “thing” called social networking, I created an Amazon book campaign.

I found many JVPs (joint venture partners), mainly from Twitter.

Some who helped were @InspiredSheila @SuzieCheel @KSchulweis @BrendaAdelman @RuthHegarty @JoeRumbolo @LolaFayemi (see next)

AND @HeidiRichards @AwakenedWisdom @LindaClariPuig @jenngivler @audaciouseditor @GailSussMill @Gloreebe @jessicamcgj @SpiritCoach #ff

Also ran a Virtual Blog Tour with peeps like @MoonPoppy @DuncanBrodie and many others.

Also ran a Twitter contest. @JulieAnnTurner won a signed copy of my book.

Anyway…

Long story short, my self-published book became an Amazon bestseller in #spirituality #mind-body-spirit and #self-help.

When “The Garden of the Soul” made bestseller, Tweets and RTs went viral. #gots

I think it was June when @SouthsideBroadc contacted me to be on their radio show. I soon became a regular guest.

Thru @SouthsideBroadc I met @SpiritusShelagh who has since become one of my closest friends.

July 2009: blogger/editor @BookEditorLM wrote me on Twitter wanting to do a blog piece on me: http://bit.ly/c8hbCa

Aug 2009: @BookEditorLM asked @tonyeldridge if he would repost that article. He asked me to write a new one.

Oct 2009: @tonyeldridge published my new article “Pre-Natal Care for Your Book” http://bit.ly/bWCmQA

Same month @AllisonMaslan (whom I didn’t know) read that article. Sent me DM asking me to coach her 4 Amazon launch.

I put together Amazon campaign for @AllisonMaslan ‘s new #book #BlastOff!

Nov 2009: I asked @writersinthesky (whom I had met on Ning) to come and help us put the campaign together.

We put together another great team of JVPs.

If I named all the Tweeple who helped us on #BlastOff! I think I’d need another day to write this.

Meanwhile lots of people were asking me for book advice. I decided to start a new site called Spirit Authors. http://spiritauthors.com

Dec 20 2009: I set up Twitter profile @SpiritAuthors and Facebook fan page. http://facebook.com/SpiritAuthors

Started Twitter/FB campaign to drive people to fan page. By Christmas day there were 100 fans.

Jan 2010: Did another campaign to get 500 fans by my 55th birthday end of Jan. I got 600+

Jan 19, 2010: Allison’s book launched. Twitter & FB went viral. “Blast Off” reached #1 in US/Canada. http://bit.ly/RXpQu

RT @AllisonMaslan’s “Blast Off” reached #1 in US/Canada. http://bit.ly/RXpQu

Jan 21, 2010: Success of launch attracted attention of @AllisonMaslan ’s literary agent @wgtwelve. He’s also @EckhartTolle ‘s agent

As an author, I am now represented by @wgtwelve.

More and more #mind-body-spirit #authors come to me to create campaigns for them.

New Amazon campaigns: @AwakenedWisdom (April 20), @NeuroBooks (May 11) and @wgtwelve (Nov).

From Twitter contacts, I quickly assembled team of 18 VIP experts for Spirit Authors Grand Opening http://bit.ly/9pfpJV

VIPS: @wordywoman @BookMarketer @CaronGoode @DayaDeviDoolin @inspiredwriter @docmarion @AlanSeale plus many already mentioned.

Nearly 500 people registered 4 the #Spirit #Authors Grand Opening http://bit.ly/9pfpJV

My good friend @SpiritusShelagh was my co-host for the event. What a source of strength she is.

Oz Tweep @charlyjl was a wellspring of technical support in getting the site ready. Couldn’t have done it without her.

March 2010: Spirit Authors is now open and I have long waiting list of book campaign clients.

On #Spirit #Authors I teach new authors how to set use #Twitter to build a promotional platform and Amazon launch… as well as many other things (Oops! That’s more than 140 characters!)

Ok… enough with the Twitterspeak!!!

I am quite serious when I say Twitter has changed my life. Yes, my own book would never have become a bestseller without Twitter. Yes, I could never have helped Allison become a number-1 seller. Yes, I would not have gotten some fab new clients and an amazing literary agent. And yes, I would never have thought to create Spirit Authors and now have a blossoming new business as a result.

But it isn’t REALLY about business at all.

Have a look at all the Twitter links above. These are not just links. These are all REAL people whom I have come to know, respect and care about over the past year. Even though some of us are separated by tens of thousands of miles, we have all shared many a heart-felt conversation over the phone, and have been there for each other through the highs and lows.

And really, there are just so many other wonderful people I have met from Twitter (as well as Facebook, Ning and LinkedIn, in that order), I cannot count them.

When many people first come to Twitter, they don’t “get it”. How can you possibly communicate in 140 characters? How can you possibly make friends with people? How can you possibly build a business from it? WHY would you WANT to do this????

And I’m telling you now—it’s because of the PEOPLE!

I have made more close friends from networking on Twitter than any other form of networking I have ever tried… even more than “live” networks in my home town! While I do love Facebook as well, there is nothing (yet) that can beat Twitter for ideas going viral, and for meeting lots of people who share your interests within a very short period of time.

But as I said, it’s not just about the business. The friends I have met through Twitter are some of the most inspiring, supportive, positive and powerful light-workers I have ever met. That is why I have linked to EVERY one of them above.

So, if you are on Twitter, you should follow them. These are wonderful, beautiful people—get to KNOW them.

As always, your comments below are MOST welcome!

Warm wishes,
Lynn Serafinn
@LynnSerafinn
@SpiritAuthors

P. S.: This article was inspired by a Twitter conversation I had a new friend on Twitter @WendyMWarden. Many thanks, Wendy. This was fun to write!

P. P. S.: Knowing HOW to make Twitter (and social networking in general) work for you, both on a business level and on a deeply fulfilling personal level, is something of an art form. This is why I teach it on the Spirit Authors course:

• In Module 2, I teach the fundamental principles of spirit-based promotion so you can create a fertile promotional platform for selling your book online using social networking.
• In Module 4, I teach the “how to’s” of creating an Amazon Book Launch.
• And, of course, there are 3 other modules on starting and writing your book, preparing for publication, and creating a brand and sustainable business from your book.

It’s my hope that by teaching authors (and authors-to-be) the techno-art of Twitter, they will not only find professional fulfilment, but they will also expand their world by connecting to others who understand them and wish to help them grow.

If this sounds like something you would like to explore, I offer a 14-day “Test Drive” on any Spirit Authors learning module for only $1. Visit the site at http://spiritauthors.com and check out the introductory audios and module overviews to see if there is something at Spirit Authors that can help you achieve your writing goals. And if you have any questions, please just fill out a contact form on the site and I promise I will reply personally.

Presenting an exciting NEW concept on the Internet, combining coaching, learning, community and business-building in a creative, spirit-based environment…

SPIRIT AUTHORS GRAND OPENING

Register for free at: http://spiritauthors.com/pages/grand-opening.html

Spirit Authors (www.spiritauthors.com) is an innovative new membership site where established, new and aspiring authors in the mind-body-spirit genre can find everything and everyone they need to make their publication a success. Founded by bestselling author and award-winner teacher and coach, Lynn Serafinn, Spirit Authors provides learning, support and professional resources to mind-body-spirit authors, whether you are just starting out, or are already successfully published.

Won’t you please join us for our Grand Opening Celebration?

• Monday 22 February through Friday 26 February (one webcast per day), from 3pm Eastern (8pm UK)
• FIVE unique broadcasts on different topics including writing, publishing and marketing your book and beyond
• FREE to attend; FREE to listen (via webcast)
• A superb VIP panel of 18 spirit-based industry professionals, all leaders in their fields
• Panellists include top-selling mind-body-spirit authors, editors, marketing specialists, translators, literary agents, publishers and basically wonderful people.

On the broadcasts, you will…

• Hear the experiences and insights of 18 leading mind-body-spirit publishing professionals
• Learn lots of new things about spirit-based writing, publishing and promotion
• Have the opportunity to direct questions to the VIP panel via our webcast
• Find out how you can “Test Drive” Spirit Authors Virtual Coaching and Learning Experience for only $1
• Receive some great free gifts just for checking it out.

Can’t make it to the live broadcasts?

No problem! Register for the webcasts you want, and you will receive a link to download the MP3 after the event. But don’t leave it too long before you listen to them… we’ll be giving away some freebies that will be available only during the week of the Grand Opening launch.

Who are our VIPs?

• HOST: Lynn Serafinn, bestselling author, book promotion coach
• CO-HOST: Shelagh Jones, Spiritus Spiritual Marketing Directory
• Alan Seale, author, transformation coach
• Allison Maslan, number-1 selling author, homeopath, life strategy coach
• Caron Goode, award-winning author
• Dana Lynn Smith, The Savvy Book Marketer
• Daya Devi Doolin, award-winning author, spiritual counsellor
• Laurel Marshfield, editor, ghostwriter, proofreader
• Marion Ross, number-1 selling author and psychologist
• Richard Fitt, Authors Online, publisher for self-publishing authors
• Shannon Arnold Jackson, spirit-based writing coach
• Shelley Lieber, The Wordy Woman, Publishing Maven
• Stephanie Gunning, the Get a Book Deal Coach
• Tony Eldridge, Marketing Tips for Authors
• William Bloom, world-renowned spirituality author and speaker
• William Gladstone, author, top literary agent for leading mind-body-spirit authors
• Yvonne Perry, author, book marketing specialist
• One additional guest to be confirmed

CLICK HERE TO READ ALL ABOUT THE LINE UP AND REGISTER FOR FREEl

Allison Maslan

By guest blogger Allison Maslan

Note from Lynn: The exciting launch of Allison’s new book, Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality is coming THIS Tuesday, January 19. To find out how you can buy the book and receive more than 20 beautiful mind-body-spirit gifts during the launch, go to www.myblastoff.com/booklaunch.

Are you living your life to the fullest at this moment in time? Do you have the life that you have always dreamed of? If so, congratulations! Meditate a few moments each day on the goodness that you have experienced from your great fortune. If your answer is no, it is never too late to start. So many of my coaching clients tell me they don’t reach their goals because they want everything perfect before they move forward.

They are striving for perfection and it is killing them. They want a perfectly clean house, to say the perfect words and to do perfect work at all times. What is the point of “perfect” anyway? Pressure filled expectations are a sure way to turn any goal into a ball and chain. Many people resist attempting new challenges or setting new goals because they are afraid they will not perform to their ridiculous level of expectation.

As a result, they give up before they ever begin. Then the feelings of disappointment and failure set in. I started taking modern dance in my 30s. The room was full of young women and men that had been dancing since childhood. My mind was aghast as the dance instructor got in front of the class and proceeded to dance several eloquent steps that we were supposed to immediately mirror. I knew I was in trouble as the class was spinning one way and I was tripping the other way (Picture I Love Lucy and the Rockettes).

Through this experience, I learned to laugh at myself and let go of the notion of doing it perfectly. It was not possible for me to keep up with these experts; and attempting to do so was way too much pressure. Once the light bulb came on that I could do something for the fun of it, I relaxed about the outcome. And wouldn’t you know it, I was able to perform in several dance presentations and I had a blast.

If you are not putting yourself out there, reaching toward what you really want because you are afraid of not being perfect, you are missing out on the juiciness of your life. It is the non-perfect part that will be most memorable and uniquely you.

~~~~~~~~

Allison Maslan, HHP, CCH is a homeopathic physician and the author of Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality. As a life and business coach, she helps people create a new business and the best chapter of their lives.

The exciting launch of her book, Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality is coming Tuesday, January 19. To find out how you can buy the book and receive more than 20 beautiful mind-body-spirit gifts during the launch, go to www.myblastoff.com/booklaunch.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season-  Part 4 of 5
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Well, as we move into the last week of the holiday season, we move into the penultimate article in our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (posted 27 Dec)
   
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money in today’s post
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Let’s face it. Sometimes we spend money during the holidays as if we had an unlimited supply of cash. But then, the bills start to arrive. And while we might have felt bright, bubbly and festive when we did our holiday shopping, when we begin to assess the financial “damages”, our euphoria can rapidly turn into stress, and even guilt, making it impossible for us to feel the joy of the season.

I’m pretty sure just about all of us have experienced such “buyer’s regret” at one time or another in our lives when we have purchased something and thought twice about it after the fact. At other times of the year, if we bought something and had regrets about it afterwards, we could usually return it if we wished. But with holiday spending, this isn’t so easy, as most of our spending is on gifts for others, or on holiday consumables like food, drink and entertainment. We cannot return these items and get our money back.

So, how can we relieve ourselves from this stress and guilt?

It would be all too easy to say, “Just don’t spend as much next year.” Equally, it would be all too easy to say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s only money. You can’t take it with you, so spend it when you’ve got it.”

But the problem is, it doesn’t work like that. To say, “Just don’t spend as much” is about as effective as telling a smoker or a drinker, “Just don’t smoke/drink as much.” The truth is we are probably spending for reasons ever so subtle, we might not even be aware of them. And unless we understand our true motivation for matters to do with money, no amount of “Why don’t you just do this or that” will change our habits. Money is not actually the cause of our stress and guilt. It is how we think about ourselves in relation to money that is the culprit.

In this article, I will look at three common ways our relationship with money can cause stress in many people, especially during the holidays:

1. Misunderstanding the true nature of money
2. Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
3. Using money as a distorted measurement of our worth

What money is and what it is not
Our culture of consumerism seems to induce the feeling that we are dependent upon money, just the same way an addict feels dependent upon a particular substance. But the truth is we are not dependent upon money; we have only given our power away to it and come to believe we are.

Money is actually a convenience we human beings have created to enable us to place a quantifiable value upon things, so we can easily trade for whatever we want and need to make our lives fuller and happier. Our monetary system has helped us move from needing to determine an equivalent value for every single item or service we might wish to exchange with each other. It also made life a heck of a lot more practical and enabled us to create the modern world in which we currently live. For instance, I seriously doubt I would be sitting writing this article if, every day, I had to lug around a bucket of milk with me every time I wanted to get a loaf of bread, or whatever I happened to need. I’d have no time for self-development or writing articles!

Seen from this perspective, we can realise that money is actually a creation, a tool and a convenience we humans invented to make our lives easier and to give us more time to grow at a level of consciousness, rather than simply focus on survival all the time. I would go so far as to say that money is a “divinely inspired” creation. How ironic it is, therefore, that so many of us get into a panic and regress to a sub-human “survival mode” when it comes to thinking about money. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from seeing the divine nature of money. Some are so fearful and so blinded to the divine nature of money that they try to use money to gain power over others, either physically or psychologically, thus creating more stress, fear and anxiety in the world (for the most part, all those annoying “cold calls” you get from call centres are dependent upon your anxieties around money, and their entire ethos is built upon a distorted view of what money is).

But when we can see the divine nature of money, we are able to develop a genuinely healthy relationship with it. We come to understand that it can help us create a world in which we have time to explore the Self and find fulfilment at the Soul level, in whatever form that might mean to us. If we relate to it for any other reason (i.e., “I need money to pay my bills,” etc.) we are apt to feel inferior to and resentful towards it, and will tend to push it away from us, making our feelings of lack even greater.

So take a deep breath and start to see money from this perspective: as a wonderful creation whose sole purpose is to bring freedom and enlightenment to all human beings (not just the so-called “rich”). If we are feeling imprisoned by money, rather than free, it does not mean we need more money; it means we have not yet fully understood our authentic relationship with it.

How our perspective determines our relationship with money

Just as in our relationships with other people, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with money. If we view it as the evil Task Master, it will treat us as if it were one. If we view money with the spirit of creativity and choice, it changes our relationship entirely. Here’s an example: Let’s say I am walking down the High Street with £20 in my pocket and I unexpectedly see something I have been looking for that normally costs £20 but is on sale today only for £10. It’s a great bargain, but I know I have to go grocery shopping, and I usually spend £20 on food. I have a choice in how I react to it:

• I could tell myself, “I can’t afford that. I don’t have enough money,” and feel disempowered and limited.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll buy it and I’ll just have to live on canned soup and stale bread,” and feel impoverished, lacking and guilty.
• I could tell myself, “I’ll put it on a credit card. What difference will an extra £10 make?” and delude myself that I am in control, making my dependency problem even worse.
• I could tell myself, “I want to spend my money on food today, and I’ll come back next week for that,” and feel more empowered and at choice.
• I could tell myself, “I’ve really wanted that a long time, so I’ll buy that today, and when I do my grocery shopping, I’ll save money by leaving out all the packaged meals and treats, and stock up on my favourite fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I’ll even make the fruit and veg taste especially delicious by looking up some new recipes for them on the Internet,” and not only feel at choice, but feel I have created an exciting solution for myself.

The key to remember is that the more we are able to see money as a creative tool for our own fulfilment, rather than something that is both limited and limiting in our lives, the more we are able to develop a healthy relationship with it and free ourselves from stress. In other words, when we view money as a free-flowing energy that is meant to flow into us and through us from the world, we can then begin to allow it to come into our lives. I discuss the attribute of “Allowing” in the section called “The Principle of Receiving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. In order for things to flow into us, we must allow them to enter. Money is no different. If we view money as something that has control over us, we will block the barriers to it coming into our lives, and continue the vicious cycle of disconnection, lack, and helplessness.

Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
Just as it is important to understand our relationship with money, it is equally important to understand the reasons why we spend money, especially during the holiday season. Are we spending for the “wrong” reasons? For instance, are we using spending as a means to express our love? Buying gifts to express love is fine, but in some cases, spending becomes a substitute for actual expression of love. I have known many people in my life who found it difficult to express love outwardly, so they would buy gifts as a way to say what they felt they could not say with words or other actions. The result was that they would feel good when they were shopping for the gifts, but afterwards, their mood would dip seriously low.

I’ve observed several reasons why people who spend for the wrong reasons experience this mood swing. First, they feel as though they are unappreciated or misunderstood by the person(s) for whom they bought the gifts. This is because, whether consciously or not, they had replaced their ability to express their inner feelings with external gifts. But no gift can ever adequately express our feelings. And while the recipient of the gift might feel truly grateful, the gift can never say what the gift giver is truly feeling inside. In other words, gifts can only ever be an enhancement, not a replacement, of our emotional expression. If we use them to express what we feel incapable of expressing, we are likely to experience the “dip”. We might even feel that our feelings are not being reciprocated by the other person, but when our emotions are not clearly expressed, we are less likely to get the kind of response we are seeking.

The flow of natural self-expression is an attribute of “The Principle of Giving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. The key to understanding “Giving” is in understanding where it originates. In order to learn how to give authentically, we must first be able to tap into the resources of our own inner Self. All true giving starts there. If we use gift buying to avoid the flow of energy from our inner self into the outer world, we will always feel misunderstood, frustrated and “poor”.

If you are experiencing this kind of “dip” after you have completed you holiday spending, I encourage you to explore the enquiries:

1. What I am trying to say through my spending?
2. What other means can I use to express myself more clearly and openly?
3. What holds me back from being clear and open?

Money as a distorted measurement of our own worth
If you finally want to unlock the straight-jacket in which you have put yourself over money, it is vital that you take a good, honest look at how much of your opinion of yourself is entangled with your financial wherewithal. Ask yourself, “How much of my self-worth do I determine according to how much money I have?” You might not be completely conscious of the fact that you are doing this. But if you have fleeting thoughts that your house, job, clothes, car or other possessions are not good enough compared to other peoples’, or that you “should” have better things just because it feels like the rest of the world has more than you do (as opposed to wanting things because they are a part of your inner-most dreams), then you might be measuring your self-worth through your money.

If you find that you routinely use credit cards to get things that make you feel better, but then you feel guilty and stressed every time the bills come around, you are more than likely allowing money to be a distorted measurement of your own worth, whether consciously or not. It is highly important that we tap into “The Principle of Being” (another Principle from my book The Garden of the Soul) to nurture this distortion back to health. In my Garden of the Soul workshop, one of the things I do is take people through a “peeling the onion” exercise where they strip away all the layers of ego until they find the core of the Self, that is not dependent upon time, circumstance, status, money or any other external factor. When we can tap into that resource, we become resilient when stress over money begins to tighten its grip around us.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Money Stresses into Joy

So many people on the media/Internet talk about “financial freedom”. Well, I have a different view of what this term means, and how to create it. So here’s your “Joy Formula” for this holiday to help you move from stress and anxiety over money and towards a more creative and empowered life:

• Explore the true nature of money as a creative energy that is here in the world to serve you and open up possibilities for self-awareness
• Understand the real reasons why you spend.
• Dive into the emotions you have been trying to express through your spending, and find ways to express them openly.
• Identify all the ways you have attached money to your own self-worth, and strip them away to find the true Self.
• Cut up your credit cards and learn to spend only what you have. This is possibly the most liberating thing I have ever done!
• Find creative ways to decrease your outgoings through refinancing and/or stopping spending on what is not bringing joy into your life.
• Sit down with a notepad write down all the things you could create that could result in more wealth flowing into your life.

And finally…

If you find yourself lying awake at night thinking about unpaid bills, stop your thoughts from running away, and start making a mental inventory of all the little things around your home that make your life fun and joyful. Don’t forget to count the blanket that is wrapped around you as one of them! Then, wrap the blanket more snugly around you, and nestle into a sweet slumber with a smile on your face.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
FEELINGS OF ISOLATION during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

SO sorry this is late! I actually thought I had posted it before Christmas. So, you’ll be getting 2 posts back-to-back, one today, one tomorrow.

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (in today’s post)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Monday 28 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Surviving Family Dramas during the Holiday Season
For many people, visiting with relatives during the holidays is a wonderful experience, because it allows them to reconnect with loved ones they might not ordinarily see during the rest of the year. But for many others, visiting with parents, siblings and extended family can bring out the worst in us. It’s as if we’ve travelled back in time. We might be the most powerful and respected person in our professional life, but somehow when we are around our childhood families, we change into blithering idiots. By dint of some inexplicable time-warp, we get caught up in the age-old “family dramas” that drive us absolutely batty and leave such a horrible aftertaste when we go back home to our “adult” world. Within minutes, we manage to regress into a juvenile version of ourselves that never shows up under any other circumstances. But what is worse is that we find it nearly impossible to get out of the age-old scripts we have played out since our youth.

Small wonder why I chose to speak about this in a Holiday Survival Guide!

Getting “hooked” into a role
When we get stuck into a family drama, I call it being “hooked.” The reason why we get hooked into our family dramas lies in the term “drama” itself. Think of what a drama is. It’s not merely a judgemental word; it’s actually a very accurate description of what is taking place. A drama is a complex story with complex characters. And our family dramas are no different. When we are hooked, it means we have taken on the role of one of these characters. And, yes, there are cliché roles in which people tend to be cast. In my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”, I identify some of the typical roles people tend to play, such as “the good girl”, “the black sheep,” “the peacemaker”, “the clown”, “the bully”, “the victim”, “the martyr”, “the loser”, “the rebel”, “the misfit”, and so many others. Combine these with the added subtleties of our identity as being the only, the youngest, the eldest or the middle child (or girl/boy), and we find we really have created some pretty complex characters for ourselves.

Just as a drama on the stage or screen is dependent upon the chemistry and interaction (even if explosive) between the characters, so are our family dramas. Think of your favourite television drama or soap opera, and reflect on how some characters just can’t seem to stop triggering each other, whether passionately, violently or in some other way. So when we find ourselves shouting at someone, “I’m never like this except when I get around you,” it’s actually true. Our role is like a chemical reaction to the stimulus of coming in contact with another character in the play. Just as a good actor can play many different roles, from villain to lover to hero, with equal expertise when given the right script, so too we play different roles when we are working different “scripts” in our day-to-day lives. But the problem is, family scripts tend to get “written” very early in our development, and unless we become aware that we, and our family members, are all reading from the same old script year in and year out, we are unlikely to rewrite it.

How to stop it?
Well, the very first thing needed is to be able to recognise when you are hooked in a role. Simply by recognising your “default characters” when you slip into them can go a long way to making a shift away from them. How do you recognise it? Basically, if you feel weak, out of control, disconnected, ashamed, inauthentic, misunderstood, or incapable of expressing yourself, you might well be hooked in a role. Anger in and of itself is not necessarily a symptom, because anger can also come from an authentic, self-aware state of consciousness. The key is to be truthful about how connected and loving to your own Self you feel. If you do not feel connected and loving to Self, look deeper to see if you can recognise an underlying role.

Once you recognise and acknowledge you are playing one of your old, disempowering roles, notice what kinds of things trigger you. Don’t lay the blame (either outwardly or within your own mind) on another person. Remember: they are just as “hooked” as you are, and if you get entangled in the blame game, you will get nowhere. Instead, take note of the words and scenarios that tend to get you hooked. Really get to know what your triggers are, and take ownership of your reactions to them. It’s actually the most empowering thing you can do.

Realigning
Once you start to recognise your role and identify your triggers, the next thing to do is to practise “stepping aside” when triggers might be tossed your way. I call this “realigning.” If your “drama partner” hurls words at you that traditionally get you worked up, learn how to watch the words as if watching a film. One strategy I teach my clients is to use an anchoring word like, “STOP!” in your mind when you are on the verge of getting hooked. Silently, tell yourself, “Stop!” Some clients also like to use a hand gesture (like touching their thumb to their middle finger, or lightly touching their solar plexus) to bring them to that place of “stopping”. Then, take a breath and mentally step out of the “frame” of this drama, observing it without reacting.

This technique alone can be enough for some, but for others it only delays the outburst until later, because there is so much pent up anger and resentment that it simply has to come out. The aim of stopping is not to make you stuff your emotions or become submissive. It is to give you a breath, so you can bring the situation into your consciousness, and thus give you the ability to take control of your own choices. But if you are really, really hooked into your own drama, it is vital to explore the subtle forces inside of you that keep you attached to the role you play.

Why we cling to a role even if it makes us unhappy
Here’s one common example. If we find ourselves locked into a “victim” role or any role where we believe ourselves to be the “wronged one”, we might unconsciously be gripping very tightly onto that role because it satisfies a part of our identity. Why in the world would we wish to identify with being a victim? Simple. It makes us “right” and another person “wrong.” “But,” you might ask, “I am not a mean, vindictive person; why would I want to make someone else ‘wrong’?” The answer is because we feel weak and powerless inside. And when we feel powerless, this feeling of being “right” might well be the only glimmer of strength we are able to feel within ourselves. So, it makes perfect sense that we will hold onto this role for dear life because we have become so detached from ourselves we cannot see who we are without it. Basically, we are afraid. We fear our lives, if not our very existence, will become meaningless without the shield of being “right”.

And remember, if someone in your life always needs to be right (and it doesn’t matter if they are playing the role of a victim or a bully), that person is actually living with great fear. And here’s the key: when you can step outside the drama just long enough to see how much fear that person is feeling, you are far less likely to attack them or fear them yourself. And the instant you have stepped outside the drama, even for a second or two, and felt this compassion for the other person, you have begun to rewrite the script of your family drama. And that is when real relationships can begin.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Family Drama into Joy

Here’s a simple Joy Formula for you to try out this holiday season:

• If you are feeling misunderstood, defensive, victimised or out of control, you are probably “hooked”. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else. Instead, congratulate yourself for recognising it.

• Take note of the “triggers” that get you hooked. Again, don’t fall into the blame game. It only gives your power away. Instead, take ownership for what you choose to do with those triggers.
• Use a silent mental anchoring word like “Stop” and/or hand gesture to break your pattern of reacting to the trigger.
• Breathe!
• Mentally step out of the scene and start to rewrite the script. Here are some ideas. Bad script formula: “You always make me feel x, y, z”
  • Bad script formula: “You’re always so x, y, z”
  • Good script formulas (in the right tone of voice, of course!): “I hear that you feel a, b, c when I said/did, x, y, z. What would really help me is to know what you would like me to say/do so you don’t feel this way” -OR- “When you said/did x, y, z, I feel a, b, c. I would really help me is if you said/did q, r, s.”
  • Note that what you DON’T want to say is that the person “made you” feel a certain way, or that the person is the problem. Focus on specific things the person said or did, tell them how the words or deed impact you (not making it their fault) and tell/ask them for what you want. This way, the person knows exactly what isn’t working for you, and you would like from them. Bear in mind that the other person might continue to play out the drama and not react very positively at first. If that happens, just keep rewriting the script. Believe me, if you do it enough times, the drama breaks and you start to speak to each other quite differently.

Being hooked by our unconscious roles and “old scripts” can frequently be so deep-rooted that people cannot easily identify them, even though they know something within them is causing much pain and heartache. The process of moving from unconsciousness to clarity and awareness is beyond the scope of this article, but if you want to explore it further, I do invite you to contact me for a consultation by filling in a request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

I hope the information in this article has given you some useful tips for achieving greater joy over the holidays when you spend time with your families.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
STRESS OVER MONEY (!) during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out TOMORROW.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

Sample Vison Board from Blastation

This week I took this cutting edge new sofware programme (developed by Allison Maslan) for a spin. After reading this review (I give you screen shots of the programme and describe the features pretty fully), take Blastation for a test drive yourself on a FREE 30-day trial http://ow.ly/KMx.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a year ago, I attended a course with Patrick Ryan called “Awakened Wisdom”. On that course, I set many goals for myself to achieve over the next 2 years and beyond. Now, I know that I am absolutely USELESS when it comes to keeping paper documents, so I wanted to make some sort of computer-based tracking system for myself to create my 2-year targets and then break them down into smaller chunks (monthly, weekly, daily). I used an Excel spreadsheet and put all kinds of pretty colours on it. I used a different colour for each time frame: one for “Life Dream” and one for the year, month, week and day. I called it my “15-minute focus” because I didn’t want to spend gobs of time on it every day, or I wouldn’t get any work done. Instead, I wanted to use it as a way to focus my vision on the bigger picture every day, and keep my perspective on how my daily activities were working towards that goal. Here’s a screen shot of what it looked like almost exactly 1 year ago (hahah… notice that my “Life Dream” last Christmas was that my book The Garden of the Soul sold 30 million copies… I’m still working on that one!):

Well, I have to say, it did work pretty well and kept me on target for a while. If I look back at it now, most of the things I had set out to do were all pretty much achieved, and most of those things that weren’t achieved were replaced with stuff that was even better. I found this method so useful that I even shared it with several of my coaching clients, who liked it very much.

But after a couple of months, it started to get a bit of clumsy and I tended not to use it as much as I did when I first made it. There were too many words, too much scrolling up and down, no real way to “see” visually what I had achieved. I found it took me a lot longer than 15 minutes a day, because of the way it was laid out, and it didn’t really replace my need to use a daily diary quite separately from this (which I developed on yet another spreadsheet). Sometimes I found myself forgetting where I had written things down because I needed so many different places to write them!

But lo’ and behold, only a few months ago, a woman named Allison Maslan came into my life, asking me to coach her around creating a marketing campaign for her upcoming book Blast Off!. Well, of course I was really pleased to meet such a wonderful new client, and get to work on such a fun book campaign, but the bonus surprise for me was when she showed me Blastation – an online software programme she had designed for exactly the same purpose as my 15-Minute Focus spreadsheet…

But seeing them side-by-side was like comparing an old 78 rpm gramophone to a digital surround-sound system. Blastation was everything I had wanted my spreadsheet to be, but it did it all faster, prettier and more visually. It overcame every single one of the drawbacks of my home-made goals-setting spreadsheet had. Heck, it even used a similar colour scheme as I had chosen for my 15-Minute Focus, only a lot bolder and more eye-catching. I had to laugh when I saw that. It was just too perfect.

Blastation gives you 6 major areas of life in which to set goals: career, relationships, wealth, spiritual life, health and personal fulfilment (which includes FUN!).

For each of these areas, you set your “Big Picture Vision”, your “mile steps” and then your “mini-feats.” That’s very similar to the way I had my system laid out, only more streamlined. Then, it also gives you a “sunup script” which sort of reminds me of the “morning pages” Julia Cameron uses in The Artist’s Way (which I use with a lot of my clients). It also has “rocket words” which are basically your self-pep talk (or affirmations) for the day. It allows you to upload pictures, so it’s not all words, words, words.

AND do you know what? It even has a calendar that you can integrate with Outlook. I couldn’t believe it when I saw this.

But the thing I really, really liked was the “Life-o-Meter”. It’s like a petrol gauge that shows you how much you are living up to your goals. Every time you achieve a goal on time it sends you up the gauge towards 100%. Pretty cool, yes?

It also comes with excellent tutorials and guidance on how to use it effectively. Frankly, I’m going to recommend Blastation to my clients because it really is a great way to set goals, and stay motivated as you move towards them. And for coaches, it’s a great way for you to monitor your clients’ progress.

I rarely (if ever) talk about online coaching products, but this particular one just felt so fun and so USEFUL, I really wanted to review it and let people take it for a spin. Allison offers a 30-day free trial of the software, so you can see for yourself whether you think it could help you move closer to your life dreams.

And I do think a few months’ subscription would also make a really unique Christmas gift. Check out Blastation HERE.

My rating?  5-stars for:

• usefulness
• easy-of-use
• aesthetic appearance
• originality
• and FUN!

Like this article? Share it with others!

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

1. Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
2. Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (in today’s post)
3. Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sat 12 December)
4. Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Tues 15 December)
5. Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Fri 18 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Beating Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal illnesses
In Part 1, we looked at SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In today’s instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”, we’ll look at beating the holiday blues of seasonal illnesses like colds and flu.

Ok. I admit. There is nothing that makes us feel more “blue” than getting ill, especially during the holidays when we are supposed to be having fun (aren’t’ we?). There has indeed been an awful lot of flu going around this year (I had swine flu in September myself), over and above the usual seasonal flu. But what makes the flu season even worse is the fact that during the holiday season, we tend to compromise our body’s immune system to an extreme by:

• Staying indoors most of the time. This not only cuts down on our supply of Vitamin D, which is already in short supply in the winter (as mentioned in previous article), but it also makes us more subject to respiratory illness due to stale air, indoor heating, etc.
• Eating a lot of processed, rich or sugary foods. ‘Nuff said.
• Consuming more alcohol than usual. Admit it… perhaps more during the holidays than the rest of the year combined?
• Shopping in crowded and stressful conditions. I’m sorry, but I take issue with ANYONE who says he/she’s “born” to shop! NOT!
• Going to more parties than usual. Yes, and staying up till stupid-o-clock many days in a row. Yup. Always good for the immune system.
• Getting stressed over money. For some reason we feel the need to spend gargantuan amounts of money at Christmas. When did that happen? So on the one hand we get all stressed out about our bills, but on the other hand if we DON’T spend the money because we actually are broke, we get all stressed out with guilt over not having enough money to spend. Does this make sense? It’s a no-win situation.
• AND so many other things. You fill in the blanks.

Ho, ho, ho…

You know, looking at this, it sort of makes me think that the flu “bugs” are smart enough to know that if they wait to attack us around the holidays, they’ll have a real easy time of it. So, given that these little guys are wise to our habits and know when it’s the best time of year to zap us, I propose that we will at least have a fighting chance if we follow these 3 steps:

STEP 1: Eliminate the negative stimuli that might cause seasonal illness.
It makes sense, first and foremost, to try not to get sick in the first place by relearning your physical, mental and emotional limitations.

• Get outdoors every day, even if for a little while. When to do get outdoors, take time to BREATHE the air and look at the trees, sky, etc. Clear your lungs, your brain, the pores of your skin.
• Go very easy on the food and drinks that you KNOW make you feel tired, sick or lacking in energy the next day.
• Take shopping in small doses and try to go at “off” times. Better yet, buy online or buy less, full stop. OR how about MAKING gifts? I remember when I was a kid I always made gifts, and while they might have been a bit… well…not always the most “practical” (I remember a pencil holder I made for my sister that was in the shape of an alien… the pencils were his antennae), but the point is they were personal, and they showed I had taken the time to make them for the person.
• Say “no” to at least 2 activities this holiday season that simply feel like too much, no matter how much social pressure might be put upon you. The problem with the holidays is that we get caught up in the flurry of activity and we think we “must” participate in everything that pops up. It’s simply not true.
• Regardless of anything else, remember to consume lots of water. The simple fact is, most of us tend to be dehydrated. General “word on the street” is that we need 2 litres a day, but actually if we are carrying a few extra pounds, we need more than that. If you smoke, even more. AND remember, caffeinated beverages (and alcohol) are actually dehydrating to the system, so don’t think that 10 cups of coffee a day will give you your daily requirement of water. Water is necessary for keeping our cells healthy, and it also helps to flush out toxins in the body. Without enough water, we become a breeding ground for all kinds of lovelies to find a nice home in our bodies. It’s one of the cheapest and easiest ways to ensure better health and energy levels, but so many people forget to drink water.

STEP 2: Increase your natural defences
Boost your natural immune system with products like Echinacea, Aloe Vera, bee pollen, elderberry syrup and Vitamin C. If you don’t do this during other times of the year, at least do it during the winter months (Echinacea should only be taken for a few months at a time anyway). But do remember that these are only supplements, not cure-alls, and they will have a lessened effect if your diet is poor and you keep pushing yourself too hard. So it’s absolutely pointless to think that these will “bail you out” if you are still driving yourself to your limits.

STEP 3: Learn how to surrender!
Ok, so here’s where I take my “mommie” hat off and put my life coach hat back on.

No matter how diligently we look after ourselves, sometimes we fall ill. And if that’s the case, don’t fight it, SURRENDER to it! It does you absolutely no good at all to push yourself like a martyr, wallow in feelings of guilt or (worse) try to recover too quickly. When I had the swine flu back in September, it took me a whole month to regain my energy fully, and believe me, every time I tried to push it, my body told me to knock it off.

I can’t tell you how many of my clients push themselves to the brink and then wonder why they are ill or unhappy. STOP it right now! The world NEEDS you, and it needs you in one, whole, healthy piece.

Remember:

• It doesn’t matter if the people at work grumble and complain that you are off sick. They’ll also get ill some day and take their turn off work soon enough.
• Your family will not abandon you if you don’t make Christmas dinner this year. It will be a great opportunity for someone else to learn how to cook.
• The world will not end if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. That’s what store vouchers are for.
• Your business will not end if you miss a few days on Twitter (hmmm… look who’s calling the kettle black, here?).

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Seasonal Illness into Joy
So here’s my “Joy Formula” for dealing with seasonal illnesses this year, if you do happen to fall ill this holiday season:

• HOP INTO BED with a hot water bottle on your feet, a cuddly toy on your pillow, a smile on your face, and just sleep as much as you want.
• ASK OTHER PEOPLE to do favours for you. If you live alone, call friends up and ask them to shop for you. You will be amazed how many people will come out of the woodwork to help when you ask for it.
• THANK THE UNIVERSE for sending you the illness, and take it as your “permission slip” to take TIME OUT. See the sickness as a message that your body needs “down time” and just take it.
• UNPLUG YOUR PC and forget about emails. And when you get well, unsubscribe to 50% of your mailing lists (well… except my blog, of course).
• REST AND READ all those books next to your nightstand you haven’t had time to read because you’ve been too busy. Maybe my book The Garden of the Soul is one of them? If not, I recommend it highly.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Family Dramas during the Holiday Season (yikes!).

That’s coming this weekend. Just sign up on the box at the right to be sure you receive it.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Author Patrick Dennis somewhat sarcastically referred to the winter holidays as “The Joyous Season” in his 1960s book of the same name. Most of us inwardly believe that Christmas and the winter holidays are indeed meant to be joyous. But in actuality, many people have a rough time during the holiday season, for many reasons.

Because the holidays seem to be such challenging and sometimes transitional periods in our lives, this month I decided to have a look at what I think are the “Top 5 Blues” that affect so many people during the holidays, along with why we get them, and how to turn them around into Joy. Here are the top 5 that came to mind:

• Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) in today’s issue
• Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (coming Wed 9 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sun 27 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Mon 28 December)
• Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thus 31December

Over the next 12 days, I’ll be examining each of these “blue areas”, give you some tips from other great thinkers, and offer a few of my own suggestions for turning the winter “blues” into cheery multi-coloured mind-body-spirit holiday sparkles. Today, I’ll be talking about SAD– Seasonal Affective Disorder. The findings might surprise you!

Beating Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”).
SAD is a condition that affects some people during the winter months causing them to feel a bit blue, low in energy, or basically “down in the dumps.” But what causes it?

Here in the UK, I recently attended talk by the world-renowned nutritionist Phillip Day who said that SAD actually is caused by a lack of Vitamin D, owing to the decreased amount of available sunshine during the winter months. Through some research, I found that the link between Vitamin D and SAD is widely recognised accepted by the general scientific community.

The truth about Vitamin D
Vitamin D is not really a vitamin, but actually a hormone the body produces, which plays a key role in so many vital functions of the body, and deficiency has been linked to an array of diseases, including diabetes and cancer. Taking a simple 1-hour walk outdoors during the warmer months is generally adequate to keep us stocked with our daily quotient of Vitamin D, which is first absorbed through exposed skin, and then assimilated into the bloodstream.

So if sunshine helps create Vitamin D, and Vitamin D gets rid of the winter “blues”, is “busting” Seasonal Affective Disorder just an easy matter of getting out into the sunshine during the winter? Well yes… and no.

During these dark, winter months, not only is there much less sunlight during the daytime, but also the angle of the sun is such that Vitamin D absorption by the body is not as efficient as it is in other times of the year. This is especially true for people who live above 40 degrees latitude, which includes a huge portion of the US and most of Europe. To make matters worse, the likelihood for Vitamin D deficiency is even greater amongst people with darker skin who live in these latitudes, because their pigmentation was naturally designed to block the sun’s rays more than that of people with fairer skin, as their ethnic roots are from sunnier climates.

Hmmm… Kind of makes your realise how much our bodies love to live in synch with the Earth and the Sun, doesn’t it?

Can I cheat?
You might ask the question, “If we cannot get enough Vitamin D during the winter, can we ’stock up’ on it over the summer when there is more sunlight?” Answer: Nope. Vitamin D lives in the body only for about two weeks. So two weeks’ summer holiday in sunny Spain last June will not cover your Vitamin D requirements during your English Christmas six months later. No, if you suffer from SAD during the winter in the northern latitudes, the best advice nutritionists are currently giving is to take Vitamin D supplements (do some research on the dosages, because I have read varying opinions about this).

Why is Lynn talking about this?
Ok… it’s true I’m not a scientist, doctor or nutritionist. So why am I talking about this in a coaching newsletter? Well, it’s because I believe, with every grain of my being, that our overall happiness and wellbeing is dependent upon the integration of mind, body and spirit. And something we, in this modern era, forget too frequently is that we are basically the children of the solar system and are not only physically connected to and dependent upon the Sun, the Earth, the Moon and other celestial entities, but that our ultimate happiness depends upon our being emotionally and spiritually connected to them as well.

But it is my observation that, in our modern world, we have become so dissociated from the most ubiquitous presence in our daily lives (the Sun) that we are even a bit “sun-o-phobic”. We smother our bodies with sunscreen, believing the sun to have “deadly rays”, forgetting that it is actually our link to our own Source. While I am not minimising care needed to be taken with regards to things like skin cancer, I do think our modern relationship with the Sun is poorly defined.

“Working Lunch Disorder”
Here’s an example of what I mean. If you combine our “sun-o-phobia” with our modern “workaholic” ethical code, you come up with the modern blight known as the “working lunch”. Personally, I think the “working lunch” is responsible for the vast majority of work-related stresses and other ailments in our modern world. But still, hardly anyone DARES to kick the habit. I can’t tell you how many times I have requested my clients to get OUT of the office daily and go outdoors during their lunch breaks. And by “break” I don’t mean a 20-minute dash to the bank! I mean an actual BREAK. You’d think they’d leap at the chance to become less stressed… but noooooooo…. you wouldn’t believe the MOUNTAIN of excuses I hear:

• “My boss wouldn’t like it.”
• “If I did that, I wouldn’t get my work done.”
• “People depend on me. Things would fall apart if I took an hour off.”
• “I don’t eat lunch anyway. I just grab a granola bar and coffee, and eat while I reply to my emails.”
• “Most of the time, I’m so busy I don’t remember it’s lunchtime until it’s like 3pm, so I just keep going until it’s time to go home.”
• “I’ve gotten used to it.” (Yeah, right. I call this the “frog in the pot syndrome”)

I find it utterly astonishing how such a simple thing as getting away from our desks during lunch hour can be one of the most challenging habits for people to cultivate. It is a plight of the modern age, and would never have happened in the past, when people didn’t have cars, had to work the land, etc. But nowadays, it can be a real challenge to shift our perspective so we recognise that our bodies, hearts and minds are CRAVING connection to source and that lack of this connection can actually cause both physical and emotional imbalances. (Ironically, many people might blame our troubles on our boss, but the truth is, our boss is in exactly the same predicament).

Getting back to SAD, the point is, if you are already not in the frame of mind to go out into the sunshine on a regular basis even when the weather is nice, warm and sunny, you are even less likely to get outdoors when the weather is colder, damper and darker.

My own experiences
Back when I first moved to London, I do believe I suffered from SAD. I commuted 5 hours a day on the London underground and I was indoors nearly all the time. I felt really low, my diet was abysmal and I walked with a stooped posture (Vitamin D is also essential to the proper absorption of Calcium, so it is essential for healthy bone growth).

Since moving to Bedford 4 ½ years ago, my lifestyle has changed radically. I’ve made a habit of walking outdoors at least 1 hour a day, at least 5 days a week, even if it’s raining or snowing. I love walking in the crisp air (provided it’s not TOO cold). Upon the suggestion of my good friend Fran Stockley, a nutritional therapist, I try not to wear gloves, hat or scarf when I’m outside unless I really need them, in order to enable better absorption of the sunlight. I also take plant-source supplements, including about 400 IU of Vitamin D every day.

The result?
While I might sometimes succumb to seasonal illnesses (see part 2 of this “Holiday Survival Guide” later this week), I never get “SAD” in the winter months. My energy and enthusiasm are pretty much unstoppable. One of my former clients recently said to me, “You must be the happiest person I know.” I had to laugh because she said this to me on one of my more STRESSED days! So if I seem happy in comparison to others even when I am not at my own 100%, you can see how much room for improvement there is amongst the people she knows.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning SAD into Joy

Ok, at a practical level, if you suffer from SAD and you want to bust the holiday blues this year, the experts tell us to get out and walk in the bright, crisp air every day for a minimum of 30-60 minutes, and to get yourself a good Vitamin D supplement from a natural food source.

But at a deeper, internal level, if you suffer from SAD, try to view it as an indication that the Earth and Sun are “calling” you. SAD is their way of telling you they want you to come out of your dark, air-tight cubicle and connect with them. They are saying, “Come out and play with us!” I think it is high time for us human beings to listen to them, so we can inherit the wisdom they have for us.

What better friends could you have during the holiday season, or indeed at any time than Father Sky and Mother Earth? They will never abandon you. If you ever feel lonely or depressed, just look up into the sky, or down beneath your feet, and you will find them there. Earth and Sun are your most intimate friends, who really KNOW you body, mind and spirit. They with you at every moment.

AND… when you feel genuinely connected at every moment, how can you have the blues? It is within this connection that you will find your Joy.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Seasonal Illnesses during the Holiday Season. Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!  Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Information Sources
1. Live talk bay Phillip Day on 26 November 2009, Milton Keynes. Phillip Day is the founder of an independent research organisation called “Credence”, whose stated goal is “to report properly annotated and verified information
that enables you to make wise health decisions.” http://www.credence.org/

SIDE NOTE: Phillip Day has agreed to be a guest on my radio show sometime in 2010; be sure you watch my updates around March or so. If you are interested in health, you won’t want to miss him.

2. Turner, Natasha, ND. 2009. “Sleeping too Much? You Could be SAD.” Accessed from TrueStar Health website on 5 December 2009 at http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm_archives13ML3P1A8.html

3. Reinagel, Monica. July 2008. “Can you store up enough vitamin D in the summer to last you though winter?” Accessed from “The Nutrition Data Blog” on 5 December 2009 at
http://blog.nutritiondata.com/ndblog/2008/07/can-you-store-u.html

4. Gombart, Adrian. November 2009. “Multiple health concerns surface as winter, vitamin D deficiencies arrive.” Accessed from Eureka Alert on 5 December 2009 at http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-11/osu-mhc112309.php

5. Landers, Susan. April 2009. “OM studies boost in vitamin D requirements”. Accessed from “American Medical News” on 5 December 2009 at http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2009/04/20/hlsa0420.htm

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html