Lynn Serafinn's [Cosmic] Journey » fun

Further Adventures of a Broken TV

Lynn Serafinn — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 01:32:10 +0000

Lynn comes from the UK to speak in California this month. Find out why.

Back in September 2008, I wrote an article called “How a Broken TV Made Me a Wealthy Woman.” Perhaps some of you might remember it. In that article, I reflected upon all the wonderful things that had opened up for me since my television blew up in February 2008, and I made a decision not to replace it.

I explained how I utilised my new-found free time to start a community project, build a network of wonderful friends and business contacts, learn new online skills and finish writing my book—The Garden of the Soul.

But most of all, I discussed how my anxieties over money had not only shifted, but disappeared, as I was no longer being ‘fed’ a daily diet of fear and scarcity messages via the media and marketing companies. This inner freedom opened up so much space within me, I was able to invent new, innovative ways to grow my business and create a more fulfilling way of life.

At so many levels, my broken TV made me a wealthy woman.

It is now coming up to the 3-year anniversary of when my television blew up. I have still not replaced my old set. In fact, a few months ago I finally rearranged my living room in such a way that there is not even any space for a television. My home feels cosier, homier and more inviting. The chairs face each other, intended for interpersonal conversation, rather than having them all facing the same direction, waiting to be programmed by the incandescent god in the corner of the room.

Since learning how to live without a television, I have achieved many things:

I self-published a bestselling book and got signed by an A-list literary agent.

I built my extended network to nearly 30,000 strong and created several #1-selling book launch campaigns reaching millions of people.

I helped my own daughter achieve her dream of launching her first book. It went to the top of the charts in its category.

I became Chair of our local Transition Town movement, where I work towards helping others shift their lifestyle from petroleum dependency to a healthier, more natural and sustainable model. I’ve organised a garden share with a neighbour, who now grows vegetables in my backyard.

I worked with dozens of private clients and delivered hundreds of radio shows, webinars, telesummits, workshops, lectures and online classes.

I won a couple of awards.

I made lots of videos.

I wrote two online courses for authors.

I remodelled my home.

I travelled to Italy, Spain and all over the UK.

I took uncountable walks along the river.

I taught my grandson how to tell ‘knock knock jokes’.

But most of all, the more time I spent without a television, the more I saw all of my anxieties and insecurities about money, self-image, relationships, health, and other things dissolve into thin air.

Not only do I no longer stress about money, but I have also created a steady flow of income.

Not only have I created a steady flow of income, but I am also no longer in debt.

Not only am I out of debt, but I have also learned how to live without credit.

Not only have I learned to live without credit, but I am also positively convinced the whole notion of credit is second only to television as being the ‘drug of the nation(s)’!

Never again will I own another credit card.

My consciousness has grown. I look around me and I see things I never saw before. I see people who are feeling trapped, and they don’t know why. I see good, decent and sensitive people unable to fend for themselves economically without a clue as to what to do. I see CEOs of big corporations feeling disconnected and fearful, but they dare not allow anyone see them with their defences down.

My heart aches for humanity. It aches for our planet. I want to shout from the rooftops.

Why? Because I know what is making us ill—

Marketing!

I don’t just mean advertising of products and services. I mean the whole industry of selling beliefs and ideas. I mean the subtle mind wars in which we are led to believe we need things we cannot get, and the emptiness we feel when we try in vain to acquire that which is impossible to attain.

And this is why I became a ‘marketer’—to help others clean up the mess we’ve all made over the past century. This is also why my next book, which is coming out on June 21, 2011, is called The 7 Graces of Marketing: how to heal humanity and the planet by changing the way we sell.

If this topic gets your juices going, and you happen to be in northern California this month, I’d love to invite you to my talk ‘The 7 Graces of Marketing’ at the Insight Lecture Salon in Nevada City, on January 18th. Doors open at 6.30pm. Tickets are $20. To find out more, or to book your ticket, go to http://www.insightlecture.com/speakers/the-7-graces-of-marketing-by-lynn-serafinn-maed-cpcc/

And in the mean time, turn off the telly and see what opens up for you today.

Warm wishes,
Lynn

Lynn comes from the UK to speak in California this month

But most of all, I discussed how my anxieties over money had not only shifted, but disappeared, as I was no longer being ‘fed’ a daily diet of fear and scarcity messages via the media and marketing companies. This inner freedom opened up so much space within me, I was able to invent new, innovative ways to grow my business and create a more fulfilling way of life.

At so many levels, my broken TV made me a wealthy woman.

It is now coming up to the 3-year anniversary of when my television blew up. I have still not replaced my old set. In fact, a few months ago I finally rearranged my living room in such a way that there is not even any space for a television. My home feels cosier, homier and more inviting. The chairs face each other, intended for interpersonal conversation, rather than having them all facing the same direction, waiting to be programmed by the incandescent god in the corner of the room.

Since learning how to live without a television, I have achieved many things:

I self-published a bestselling book and got signed by an A-list literary agent.

I built my extended network to nearly 30,000 strong and created several #1-selling book launch campaigns reaching millions of people.

I helped my own daughter achieve her dream of launching her first book. It went to the top of the charts in its category.

I worked with dozens of private clients and delivered hundreds of radio shows, webinars, telesummits, workshops, lectures and online classes.

I won a couple of awards.

I made lots of videos.

I wrote two online courses for authors.

I remodelled my home.

I travelled to Italy, Spain and all over the UK.

I took uncountable walks along the river.

I taught my grandson how to tell ‘knock knock jokes’.

But most of all, the more time I spent without a television, the more I saw all of my anxieties and insecurities about money, self-image, relationships, health, and other things dissolve into thin air.

Not only do I no longer stress about money, but I have also created a steady flow of income.

Not only have I created a steady flow of income, but I am also no longer in debt.

Not only am I out of debt, but I have also learned how to live without credit.

Not only have I learned to live without credit, but I am also positively convinced the whole notion of credit is second only to television as being the ‘drug of the nation(s)’!

Never again will I own another credit card.

My heart aches for humanity. It aches for our planet. I want to shout from the rooftops.

Why? Because I know what is making us ill—

Marketing!

I don’t just mean advertising of products and services. I mean the whole industry of selling beliefs and ideas. I mean the subtle mind wars in which we are led to believe we need things we cannot get, and the emptiness we feel when we try in vain to acquire that which is impossible to attain.

And this is why I became a ‘marketer’—to help others clean up the mess we’ve all made over the past century. This is also why my next book, which is coming out on June 21, 2011, is called The 7 Graces of Marketing: how to heal humanity and the planet by changing the way we sell.

And in the mean time, turn off the telly and see what opens up for you today.

Warm wishes,

Lynn

About Lynn Serafinn, Creator of Spirit Authors

Lynn Serafinn is a transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced several top-10 book campaigns, including four #1-sellers, in 2010 alone. She created Spirit Authors to offer training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. Contact Lynn about YOUR book project at at http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

Sign up for Lynn’s bi-monthly newsletter Creative Spirit (fill in form BELOW) packed with inspirational articles, online networking tips, broadcast guide to her radio show, and news about upcoming spiritual author book releases.

Throughout the year, Lynn also hosts large-scale telesummits with world-class speakers on a range of mind-body-spirit topics. Your subscription to Creative Spirit will ensure you’ll be the first to know how to attend these free events.

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Join Us for the One World Virtual Festival – Jun 29 – Jul 1

Lynn Serafinn — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 02:20:08 +0000

Last year, I had the great pleasure of being one of the dozens of holistic and creative teachers at the annual One World Summer Festival in the UK. Since 1996, thousands of holistically-minded adults, teens and children have enjoyed the uplifting vibes, wonderful macrobiotic food, arts, entertainment, world-class transformational workshops and warm community for which the One World Festival is known. Personally, what I loved most about teaching there was that everyone who attended the workshops was 100% ready for a truly life-changing experience. It made my role as a workshop leader a truly uplifting experience. I also loved the fact that all the workshops were included in the cost of the festival, so people were free to pick and choose whatever they liked. This meant you got to meet new people every day of the festival. Another thing I loved was that we teachers got to attend as many workshops as we liked when we were not teaching (which was most of the time!). All in all, the workshops were life-changing, the food was delicious, the venue (last year it was in Bath) was stunning, and the people-well, they are what made the festival wonderful. Even the weather was perfect. For me, it was the most fabulous “working holiday” I could have ever imagined. I knew I would return this year. I wouldn’t miss it!

This year, the 15th Annual One World Summer Festival is coming to Great Malvern, England August 9th – 15th, 2010. I will again be teaching at this wonderful event, offering daily mini-workshops “Becoming the Hero of Your Own Life”, “The Garden of the Soul” and “Spiritual Marketing.”

The festival will also be held in Tuscany during the first week of September, but apparently the Italian festival is already sold out! (but I WILL be there!… how lucky am I?). That just shows how popular this event is.

Over the past 15 years, thousands of people have benefited in body, mind and spirit from coming to One World, but THIS YEAR, we are giving everyone a taste of this fabulous festival right from the comfort of your own home at a unique event called…

The One World VIRTUAL Festival
Tues June 29, Wed June 30, Thurs July 1
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern
ADMISSION: FR*EE!

A mini-fest of FR*EE online classes in holistic health, spirituality and overall wellbeing by NINE internationally acclaimed experts

Simulcast! Take your pick:
Listen via webcast OR telephone conference line

To register for your fr*ee VIP pass, go to:
http://oneworldcamp.com/01-pages/virtual-festival-2010.html

If you cannot make the live calls, register anyway
so you can download the audio and listen any time you want.

Over 3 evenings, you can enjoy enlightening classes from 9 of the dozens of inspiring teachers appearing at the British festival this year.

Here’s the line up:

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 1 ***

DATE: Tuesday, June 29th
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 1 GUESTS:
1) Christian Kyriacou RIBA MCSD – Ki Architect and House Whisperer. Christian will be talking about the Ki Signature of buildings, House Whispering, Feng Shui, Vastu and Geomancy.
2) Zascha Brésilley – Spiritual Teacher. Zascha will be talking about increasing our “Spiritual Footprint” in the world.
3) Steven Acuff – Nutritional consultant and therapist, author, teacher. Steven will give an introduction to healing with food, including acid/alkaline balance, and other vital information.

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 2 ***

DATE: Wednesday, June 30th
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 2 GUESTS:
1) Simon Brown – teacher, consultant, healer, therapist. Simon will be taking you on an introductory exploration into macrobiotics, feng shui, face reading, chi, healing and wabi sabi.
2) Maria Gillott – Macrobiotic Coach, co-founder of the One World Summer Festivals. Maria will give a sneak peek into the Macrobiotic cooking workshops she delivers for parents, showing how to cook for children through the various stages of childhood.
3) Lynn Serafinn – coach, author, radio host, spiritual marketing consultant. Lynn will talk about becoming the hero of your own life, the four Principles from her book The Garden of the Soul, and a new paradigm for spiritually-focussed businesses.

*** VIRTUAL FESTIVAL DAY 3 ***

DATE: Thursday, July 1st
TIME: 8pm-9.30pm UK time / 3.00pm – 4.30pm Eastern

DAY 3 GUESTS:
1) Julie G. Silver – Nutritional Therapist, Natural Health & Stress Management Consultant. Julie will be talking about “Nutrition for the Now”, and how to cultivate your intuitive, spiritual connection to nutrition.
2) Verne Varona – Author, film director, nutritional consultant and researcher. Verne will introduce you to the art of self diagnosis and disease reversal.
3) Samantha Terry – Acupuncturist, Aromatherapist, Chinese medicine practitioner. Sam will talk about understanding your health from a holistic perspective, and the art of vibrational healing.

YOUR HOSTS THROUGHOUT VIRTUAL FESTIVAL
Lynn Serafinn – coach, author, radio host, spiritual marketing consultant
Kyle Nash – One World Festival Promotion Team

There will also be a bit of time on each broadcast to ask questions, both over the phone OR via the webcast.

I hope you will join us for this unique 3-day online happening.
To book your place for One World Virtual Festival, go to:
http://oneworldcamp.com/01-pages/virtual-festival-2010.html

Warm wishes,
Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Transformation Coach, Book Promotion Coach, Author, radio host

About Lynn Serafinn, Creator of Spirit Authors

Lynn Serafinn is a transformation coach, book promotion coach, radio host and bestselling author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. She also works as a campaign manager for mind-body-spirit authors and has produced two #1-selling book campaigns, and another #2-selling campaign, in just the past 4 months. She created Spirit Authors to offer training, coaching, business-building and inspiration for mind-body-spirit authors, whether established or aspiring. She’s also in Round 2 of the Next Top Spiritual Author contest! To check out Lynn’s video entry, brand new book proposal and read 80 pages from her book The Garden of the Soul, go to http://www.NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=2016. A free gift awaits you when you cast your vote.

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Computers are NOT Taking over the World Just Yet

Lynn Serafinn — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:32:50 +0000

I LOVE my new PC

Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve been having some problems with RSI (repetitive strain injury) in my wrists and shoulders. I don’t mean just a little bit of aches and pains… I was in a fairly crippling state for at least a week and couldn’t type anything without extreme pain. To make sure I didn’t damage my wrists, I refrained from typing for about a week, bought some foam wrist supports for my mouse and keyboard (which help a lot) and also a new keyboard that is much lighter to the touch. My wrists are feeling much better as a result, but I still have to take it REALLY easy so they don’t relapse.

Well, as it turns out, I also bought a new computer this past week (not planned to synchronise with my wrist problems, mind you!). It came a few days ago, and I am still installing all my programmes. I LOVE my new PC. It looks, sounds and behaves beautifully and I am totally thrilled with my purchase. AND I have to say, I really like Windows 7 so far. Very sleek.

While snooping around my new toy, to my surprise I found Windows 7 comes with voice recognition software (apparently it was in XP too, but I never noticed it)! I thought this might be a great answer to my wrist/typing problems, so I thought I’d try it out to see if I could dictate my upcoming classes from Spirit Authors (I have fallen horribly behind, owing to my inability to type).

Well, I have to tell you, my experience was pretty funny. I tried to get it to type the title of one of my upcoming classes, which is, “Module 4 Week 3: Creating a Twitter Campaign for Your Launch”. I repeated the title several times over. Here are the HILARIOUS interpretations it came up with:

Nigel four week three creating a 20^th campaign by on march

1 to 4 with three freeing it will account paying for your knowledge

Marshall four weeks three creating a clear campaign by and large

Nigel four weeks three creating a toilet campaign for young launch

Nigel four weeks 33 minutes whether campaign for real much.

Model for a week’s 33 minute whether campaign relaunch

Nigel and a model for four weeks three creating a clever campaign for the launch

Marshall for week three clear yet whether campaign for you Walsh.

Model for a week’s free Wheeling and 20 campaign by launch.

Marshall four weeks 33 minute winner campaign for your launch

Gosh, I wonder who Nigel and Marshall are? And why do they hang out with models? And I REALLY don’t want to think what a “toilet campaign” might be!

Don’t even IMAGINE I made these up. No way. I’ve been laughing so hard since Windows 7 wrote them, tears are literally streaming down my face. I couldn’t possibly have typed them myself.

You’ve got to bear in mind, I was saying the EXACT same line over and over in exactly the same tone of voice. People ALWAYS tell me I speak very clearly! In fact, it’s one of the key things that people note about me. What’s up with this “voice recognition” software?

I went back and “trained” it to recognise my voice, and I also “taught” the word “Twitter”. Amazingly, it “learned” Twitter ok, but it still couldn’t get the hang of the word “Module”, repeatedly choosing the word “Model” or “Models” instead. Not once did it understand the word Module, even after I taught it to hear it and spelled it out for it.

Needless to say, I typed this blog post.

P.S.: If you’d actually like to find out how to create a Twitter campaign for your book launch, you’ll just have to check out Module 4 on my Spirit Authors course. Visit http://spiritauthors.com and find out how you can take a 14-day Test Drive for only $1.

How Twitter Changed My Life

Lynn Serafinn — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 06:01:02 +0000

Ok, now you are probably going to think I’ve lost the plot.

Twitter changed my life. Let me tell you how.

AND I am going to attempt to tell this story in lines of 140 characters or less.

It all started when I launched my book “The Garden of the Soul” in April 2009.

After a year of mastering this “thing” called social networking, I created an Amazon book campaign.

I found many JVPs (joint venture partners), mainly from Twitter.

Some who helped were @InspiredSheila @SuzieCheel @KSchulweis @BrendaAdelman @RuthHegarty @JoeRumbolo @LolaFayemi (see next)

AND @HeidiRichards @AwakenedWisdom @LindaClariPuig @jenngivler @audaciouseditor @GailSussMill @Gloreebe @jessicamcgj @SpiritCoach #ff

Also ran a Virtual Blog Tour with peeps like @MoonPoppy @DuncanBrodie and many others.

Also ran a Twitter contest. @JulieAnnTurner won a signed copy of my book.

Anyway…

Long story short, my self-published book became an Amazon bestseller in #spirituality #mind-body-spirit and #self-help.

When “The Garden of the Soul” made bestseller, Tweets and RTs went viral. #gots

I think it was June when @SouthsideBroadc contacted me to be on their radio show. I soon became a regular guest.

Thru @SouthsideBroadc I met @SpiritusShelagh who has since become one of my closest friends.

July 2009: blogger/editor @BookEditorLM wrote me on Twitter wanting to do a blog piece on me: http://bit.ly/c8hbCa

Aug 2009: @BookEditorLM asked @tonyeldridge if he would repost that article. He asked me to write a new one.

Oct 2009: @tonyeldridge published my new article “Pre-Natal Care for Your Book” http://bit.ly/bWCmQA

Same month @AllisonMaslan (whom I didn’t know) read that article. Sent me DM asking me to coach her 4 Amazon launch.

I put together Amazon campaign for @AllisonMaslan ‘s new #book #BlastOff!

Nov 2009: I asked @writersinthesky (whom I had met on Ning) to come and help us put the campaign together.

We put together another great team of JVPs.

If I named all the Tweeple who helped us on #BlastOff! I think I’d need another day to write this.

Meanwhile lots of people were asking me for book advice. I decided to start a new site called Spirit Authors. http://spiritauthors.com

Dec 20 2009: I set up Twitter profile @SpiritAuthors and Facebook fan page. http://facebook.com/SpiritAuthors

Started Twitter/FB campaign to drive people to fan page. By Christmas day there were 100 fans.

Jan 2010: Did another campaign to get 500 fans by my 55th birthday end of Jan. I got 600+

Jan 19, 2010: Allison’s book launched. Twitter & FB went viral. “Blast Off” reached #1 in US/Canada. http://bit.ly/RXpQu

RT @AllisonMaslan’s “Blast Off” reached #1 in US/Canada. http://bit.ly/RXpQu

Jan 21, 2010: Success of launch attracted attention of @AllisonMaslan ’s literary agent @wgtwelve. He’s also @EckhartTolle ‘s agent

As an author, I am now represented by @wgtwelve.

More and more #mind-body-spirit #authors come to me to create campaigns for them.

New Amazon campaigns: @AwakenedWisdom (April 20), @NeuroBooks (May 11) and @wgtwelve (Nov).

From Twitter contacts, I quickly assembled team of 18 VIP experts for Spirit Authors Grand Opening http://bit.ly/9pfpJV

VIPS: @wordywoman @BookMarketer @CaronGoode @DayaDeviDoolin @inspiredwriter @docmarion @AlanSeale plus many already mentioned.

Nearly 500 people registered 4 the #Spirit #Authors Grand Opening http://bit.ly/9pfpJV

My good friend @SpiritusShelagh was my co-host for the event. What a source of strength she is.

Oz Tweep @charlyjl was a wellspring of technical support in getting the site ready. Couldn’t have done it without her.

March 2010: Spirit Authors is now open and I have long waiting list of book campaign clients.

On #Spirit #Authors I teach new authors how to set use #Twitter to build a promotional platform and Amazon launch… as well as many other things (Oops! That’s more than 140 characters!)

Ok… enough with the Twitterspeak!!!

I am quite serious when I say Twitter has changed my life. Yes, my own book would never have become a bestseller without Twitter. Yes, I could never have helped Allison become a number-1 seller. Yes, I would not have gotten some fab new clients and an amazing literary agent. And yes, I would never have thought to create Spirit Authors and now have a blossoming new business as a result.

But it isn’t REALLY about business at all.

Have a look at all the Twitter links above. These are not just links. These are all REAL people whom I have come to know, respect and care about over the past year. Even though some of us are separated by tens of thousands of miles, we have all shared many a heart-felt conversation over the phone, and have been there for each other through the highs and lows.

And really, there are just so many other wonderful people I have met from Twitter (as well as Facebook, Ning and LinkedIn, in that order), I cannot count them.

When many people first come to Twitter, they don’t “get it”. How can you possibly communicate in 140 characters? How can you possibly make friends with people? How can you possibly build a business from it? WHY would you WANT to do this????

And I’m telling you now—it’s because of the PEOPLE!

I have made more close friends from networking on Twitter than any other form of networking I have ever tried… even more than “live” networks in my home town! While I do love Facebook as well, there is nothing (yet) that can beat Twitter for ideas going viral, and for meeting lots of people who share your interests within a very short period of time.

But as I said, it’s not just about the business. The friends I have met through Twitter are some of the most inspiring, supportive, positive and powerful light-workers I have ever met. That is why I have linked to EVERY one of them above.

So, if you are on Twitter, you should follow them. These are wonderful, beautiful people—get to KNOW them.

As always, your comments below are MOST welcome!

Warm wishes,
Lynn Serafinn
@LynnSerafinn
@SpiritAuthors

P. S.: This article was inspired by a Twitter conversation I had a new friend on Twitter @WendyMWarden. Many thanks, Wendy. This was fun to write!

P. P. S.: Knowing HOW to make Twitter (and social networking in general) work for you, both on a business level and on a deeply fulfilling personal level, is something of an art form. This is why I teach it on the Spirit Authors course:

In Module 2, I teach the fundamental principles of spirit-based promotion so you can create a fertile promotional platform for selling your book online using social networking.
In Module 4, I teach the “how to’s” of creating an Amazon Book Launch.
And, of course, there are 3 other modules on starting and writing your book, preparing for publication, and creating a brand and sustainable business from your book.

It’s my hope that by teaching authors (and authors-to-be) the techno-art of Twitter, they will not only find professional fulfilment, but they will also expand their world by connecting to others who understand them and wish to help them grow.

If this sounds like something you would like to explore, I offer a 14-day “Test Drive” on any Spirit Authors learning module for only $1. Visit the site at http://spiritauthors.com and check out the introductory audios and module overviews to see if there is something at Spirit Authors that can help you achieve your writing goals. And if you have any questions, please just fill out a contact form on the site and I promise I will reply personally.

Holiday Survival Guide – Pt 4 of 5 – Stress over Money

Lynn Serafinn — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 10:00:26 +0000

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season- Part 4 of 5
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Well, as we move into the last week of the holiday season, we move into the penultimate article in our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnessess, posted 10 Dec
Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (posted 27 Dec)
Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money in today’s post
Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Thursday 31 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Let’s face it. Sometimes we spend money during the holidays as if we had an unlimited supply of cash. But then, the bills start to arrive. And while we might have felt bright, bubbly and festive when we did our holiday shopping, when we begin to assess the financial “damages”, our euphoria can rapidly turn into stress, and even guilt, making it impossible for us to feel the joy of the season.

I’m pretty sure just about all of us have experienced such “buyer’s regret” at one time or another in our lives when we have purchased something and thought twice about it after the fact. At other times of the year, if we bought something and had regrets about it afterwards, we could usually return it if we wished. But with holiday spending, this isn’t so easy, as most of our spending is on gifts for others, or on holiday consumables like food, drink and entertainment. We cannot return these items and get our money back.

So, how can we relieve ourselves from this stress and guilt?

It would be all too easy to say, “Just don’t spend as much next year.” Equally, it would be all too easy to say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s only money. You can’t take it with you, so spend it when you’ve got it.”

But the problem is, it doesn’t work like that. To say, “Just don’t spend as much” is about as effective as telling a smoker or a drinker, “Just don’t smoke/drink as much.” The truth is we are probably spending for reasons ever so subtle, we might not even be aware of them. And unless we understand our true motivation for matters to do with money, no amount of “Why don’t you just do this or that” will change our habits. Money is not actually the cause of our stress and guilt. It is how we think about ourselves in relation to money that is the culprit.

In this article, I will look at three common ways our relationship with money can cause stress in many people, especially during the holidays:

1. Misunderstanding the true nature of money
2. Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
3. Using money as a distorted measurement of our worth

What money is and what it is not
Our culture of consumerism seems to induce the feeling that we are dependent upon money, just the same way an addict feels dependent upon a particular substance. But the truth is we are not dependent upon money; we have only given our power away to it and come to believe we are.

Money is actually a convenience we human beings have created to enable us to place a quantifiable value upon things, so we can easily trade for whatever we want and need to make our lives fuller and happier. Our monetary system has helped us move from needing to determine an equivalent value for every single item or service we might wish to exchange with each other. It also made life a heck of a lot more practical and enabled us to create the modern world in which we currently live. For instance, I seriously doubt I would be sitting writing this article if, every day, I had to lug around a bucket of milk with me every time I wanted to get a loaf of bread, or whatever I happened to need. I’d have no time for self-development or writing articles!

Seen from this perspective, we can realise that money is actually a creation, a tool and a convenience we humans invented to make our lives easier and to give us more time to grow at a level of consciousness, rather than simply focus on survival all the time. I would go so far as to say that money is a “divinely inspired” creation. How ironic it is, therefore, that so many of us get into a panic and regress to a sub-human “survival mode” when it comes to thinking about money. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from seeing the divine nature of money. Some are so fearful and so blinded to the divine nature of money that they try to use money to gain power over others, either physically or psychologically, thus creating more stress, fear and anxiety in the world (for the most part, all those annoying “cold calls” you get from call centres are dependent upon your anxieties around money, and their entire ethos is built upon a distorted view of what money is).

But when we can see the divine nature of money, we are able to develop a genuinely healthy relationship with it. We come to understand that it can help us create a world in which we have time to explore the Self and find fulfilment at the Soul level, in whatever form that might mean to us. If we relate to it for any other reason (i.e., “I need money to pay my bills,” etc.) we are apt to feel inferior to and resentful towards it, and will tend to push it away from us, making our feelings of lack even greater.

So take a deep breath and start to see money from this perspective: as a wonderful creation whose sole purpose is to bring freedom and enlightenment to all human beings (not just the so-called “rich”). If we are feeling imprisoned by money, rather than free, it does not mean we need more money; it means we have not yet fully understood our authentic relationship with it.

How our perspective determines our relationship with money

Just as in our relationships with other people, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with money. If we view it as the evil Task Master, it will treat us as if it were one. If we view money with the spirit of creativity and choice, it changes our relationship entirely. Here’s an example: Let’s say I am walking down the High Street with £20 in my pocket and I unexpectedly see something I have been looking for that normally costs £20 but is on sale today only for £10. It’s a great bargain, but I know I have to go grocery shopping, and I usually spend £20 on food. I have a choice in how I react to it:

I could tell myself, “I can’t afford that. I don’t have enough money,” and feel disempowered and limited.
I could tell myself, “I’ll buy it and I’ll just have to live on canned soup and stale bread,” and feel impoverished, lacking and guilty.
I could tell myself, “I’ll put it on a credit card. What difference will an extra £10 make?” and delude myself that I am in control, making my dependency problem even worse.
I could tell myself, “I want to spend my money on food today, and I’ll come back next week for that,” and feel more empowered and at choice.
I could tell myself, “I’ve really wanted that a long time, so I’ll buy that today, and when I do my grocery shopping, I’ll save money by leaving out all the packaged meals and treats, and stock up on my favourite fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I’ll even make the fruit and veg taste especially delicious by looking up some new recipes for them on the Internet,” and not only feel at choice, but feel I have created an exciting solution for myself.

The key to remember is that the more we are able to see money as a creative tool for our own fulfilment, rather than something that is both limited and limiting in our lives, the more we are able to develop a healthy relationship with it and free ourselves from stress. In other words, when we view money as a free-flowing energy that is meant to flow into us and through us from the world, we can then begin to allow it to come into our lives. I discuss the attribute of “Allowing” in the section called “The Principle of Receiving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. In order for things to flow into us, we must allow them to enter. Money is no different. If we view money as something that has control over us, we will block the barriers to it coming into our lives, and continue the vicious cycle of disconnection, lack, and helplessness.

Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
Just as it is important to understand our relationship with money, it is equally important to understand the reasons why we spend money, especially during the holiday season. Are we spending for the “wrong” reasons? For instance, are we using spending as a means to express our love? Buying gifts to express love is fine, but in some cases, spending becomes a substitute for actual expression of love. I have known many people in my life who found it difficult to express love outwardly, so they would buy gifts as a way to say what they felt they could not say with words or other actions. The result was that they would feel good when they were shopping for the gifts, but afterwards, their mood would dip seriously low.

I’ve observed several reasons why people who spend for the wrong reasons experience this mood swing. First, they feel as though they are unappreciated or misunderstood by the person(s) for whom they bought the gifts. This is because, whether consciously or not, they had replaced their ability to express their inner feelings with external gifts. But no gift can ever adequately express our feelings. And while the recipient of the gift might feel truly grateful, the gift can never say what the gift giver is truly feeling inside. In other words, gifts can only ever be an enhancement, not a replacement, of our emotional expression. If we use them to express what we feel incapable of expressing, we are likely to experience the “dip”. We might even feel that our feelings are not being reciprocated by the other person, but when our emotions are not clearly expressed, we are less likely to get the kind of response we are seeking.

The flow of natural self-expression is an attribute of “The Principle of Giving” in my book The Garden of the Soul. The key to understanding “Giving” is in understanding where it originates. In order to learn how to give authentically, we must first be able to tap into the resources of our own inner Self. All true giving starts there. If we use gift buying to avoid the flow of energy from our inner self into the outer world, we will always feel misunderstood, frustrated and “poor”.

If you are experiencing this kind of “dip” after you have completed you holiday spending, I encourage you to explore the enquiries:

What I am trying to say through my spending?
What other means can I use to express myself more clearly and openly?
What holds me back from being clear and open?

Money as a distorted measurement of our own worth
If you finally want to unlock the straight-jacket in which you have put yourself over money, it is vital that you take a good, honest look at how much of your opinion of yourself is entangled with your financial wherewithal. Ask yourself, “How much of my self-worth do I determine according to how much money I have?” You might not be completely conscious of the fact that you are doing this. But if you have fleeting thoughts that your house, job, clothes, car or other possessions are not good enough compared to other peoples’, or that you “should” have better things just because it feels like the rest of the world has more than you do (as opposed to wanting things because they are a part of your inner-most dreams), then you might be measuring your self-worth through your money.

If you find that you routinely use credit cards to get things that make you feel better, but then you feel guilty and stressed every time the bills come around, you are more than likely allowing money to be a distorted measurement of your own worth, whether consciously or not. It is highly important that we tap into “The Principle of Being” (another Principle from my book The Garden of the Soul) to nurture this distortion back to health. In my Garden of the Soul workshop, one of the things I do is take people through a “peeling the onion” exercise where they strip away all the layers of ego until they find the core of the Self, that is not dependent upon time, circumstance, status, money or any other external factor. When we can tap into that resource, we become resilient when stress over money begins to tighten its grip around us.

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Money Stresses into Joy

So many people on the media/Internet talk about “financial freedom”. Well, I have a different view of what this term means, and how to create it. So here’s your “Joy Formula” for this holiday to help you move from stress and anxiety over money and towards a more creative and empowered life:

Explore the true nature of money as a creative energy that is here in the world to serve you and open up possibilities for self-awareness
Understand the real reasons why you spend.
Dive into the emotions you have been trying to express through your spending, and find ways to express them openly.
Identify all the ways you have attached money to your own self-worth, and strip them away to find the true Self.
Cut up your credit cards and learn to spend only what you have. This is possibly the most liberating thing I have ever done!
Find creative ways to decrease your outgoings through refinancing and/or stopping spending on what is not bringing joy into your life.
Sit down with a notepad write down all the things you could create that could result in more wealth flowing into your life.

And finally…

If you find yourself lying awake at night thinking about unpaid bills, stop your thoughts from running away, and start making a mental inventory of all the little things around your home that make your life fun and joyful. Don’t forget to count the blanket that is wrapped around you as one of them! Then, wrap the blanket more snugly around you, and nestle into a sweet slumber with a smile on your face.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
FEELINGS OF ISOLATION during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in 3 days’ time.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, fill in a consultation request form at: http://bit.ly/8no3mC

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Family Drama into Joy

Here’s a simple Joy Formula for you to try out this holiday season:

If you are feeling misunderstood, defensive, victimised or out of control, you are probably “hooked”. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else. Instead, congratulate yourself for recognising it.

Take note of the “triggers” that get you hooked. Again, don’t fall into the blame game. It only gives your power away. Instead, take ownership for what you choose to do with those triggers.

Use a silent mental anchoring word like “Stop” and/or hand gesture to break your pattern of reacting to the trigger.

Breathe!

Mentally step out of the scene and start to rewrite the script. Here are some ideas. Bad script formula: “You always make me feel x, y, z”

Bad script formula: “You’re always so x, y, z”

Good script formulas (in the right tone of voice, of course!): “I hear that you feel a, b, c when I said/did, x, y, z. What would really help me is to know what you would like me to say/do so you don’t feel this way” -OR- “When you said/did x, y, z, I feel a, b, c. I would really help me is if you said/did q, r, s.”

Note that what you DON’T want to say is that the person “made you” feel a certain way, or that the person is the problem. Focus on specific things the person said or did, tell them how the words or deed impact you (not making it their fault) and tell/ask them for what you want. This way, the person knows exactly what isn’t working for you, and you would like from them. Bear in mind that the other person might continue to play out the drama and not react very positively at first. If that happens, just keep rewriting the script. Believe me, if you do it enough times, the drama breaks and you start to speak to each other quite differently.

Being hooked by our unconscious roles and “old scripts” can frequently be so deep-rooted that people cannot easily identify them, even though they know something within them is causing much pain and heartache. The process of moving from unconsciousness to clarity and awareness is beyond the scope of this article, but if you want to explore it further, I do invite you to contact me for a consultation by filling in a request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

I hope the information in this article has given you some useful tips for achieving greater joy over the holidays when you spend time with your families.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”
I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of
STRESS OVER MONEY (!) during the Holiday Season.

Again, it’s not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in a few days’ time.

Like this article? Share it with others

The Known Universe – a totally awesome video – really!

Lynn Serafinn — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:20:43 +0000

VIDEO: The Known Universe by American Museum of Natural History

This is simply awesome. And I mean that in the literal sense. It fills me with complete awe and really puts existence in perspective. What an amazing Universe we live in! Felt it had to go on my site. I call this my “cosmic universe” after all! Hope you enjoy it.

Please let your comments below and share with others.

Holiday Survival Guide – Pt 2 of 5

Lynn Serafinn — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:15:23 +0000

5 Easy Ways to Beat the Blues and Feel Joyous this Holiday Season
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

Holiday Blues Number 1: Seasonal Affective Disorder (“SAD”) posted 6 December
Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal Illnesses (in today’s post)
Holiday Blues Number 3: Family “Dramas” (coming Sat 12 December)
Holiday Blues Number 4: Stress over Money (coming Tues 15 December)
Holiday Blues Number 5: Feelings of Isolation (coming Fri 18 December)

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on the right hand side of your screen.

Beating Holiday Blues Number 2: Seasonal illnesses
In Part 1, we looked at SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In today’s instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide”, we’ll look at beating the holiday blues of seasonal illnesses like colds and flu.

Ok. I admit. There is nothing that makes us feel more “blue” than getting ill, especially during the holidays when we are supposed to be having fun (aren’t’ we?). There has indeed been an awful lot of flu going around this year (I had swine flu in September myself), over and above the usual seasonal flu. But what makes the flu season even worse is the fact that during the holiday season, we tend to compromise our body’s immune system to an extreme by:

Staying indoors most of the time. This not only cuts down on our supply of Vitamin D, which is already in short supply in the winter (as mentioned in previous article), but it also makes us more subject to respiratory illness due to stale air, indoor heating, etc.
Eating a lot of processed, rich or sugary foods. ‘Nuff said.
Consuming more alcohol than usual. Admit it… perhaps more during the holidays than the rest of the year combined?
Shopping in crowded and stressful conditions. I’m sorry, but I take issue with ANYONE who says he/she’s “born” to shop! NOT!
Going to more parties than usual. Yes, and staying up till stupid-o-clock many days in a row. Yup. Always good for the immune system.
Getting stressed over money. For some reason we feel the need to spend gargantuan amounts of money at Christmas. When did that happen? So on the one hand we get all stressed out about our bills, but on the other hand if we DON’T spend the money because we actually are broke, we get all stressed out with guilt over not having enough money to spend. Does this make sense? It’s a no-win situation.
AND so many other things. You fill in the blanks.

Ho, ho, ho…

You know, looking at this, it sort of makes me think that the flu “bugs” are smart enough to know that if they wait to attack us around the holidays, they’ll have a real easy time of it. So, given that these little guys are wise to our habits and know when it’s the best time of year to zap us, I propose that we will at least have a fighting chance if we follow these 3 steps:

STEP 1: Eliminate the negative stimuli that might cause seasonal illness.
It makes sense, first and foremost, to try not to get sick in the first place by relearning your physical, mental and emotional limitations.

Get outdoors every day, even if for a little while. When to do get outdoors, take time to BREATHE the air and look at the trees, sky, etc. Clear your lungs, your brain, the pores of your skin.
Go very easy on the food and drinks that you KNOW make you feel tired, sick or lacking in energy the next day.
Take shopping in small doses and try to go at “off” times. Better yet, buy online or buy less, full stop. OR how about MAKING gifts? I remember when I was a kid I always made gifts, and while they might have been a bit… well…not always the most “practical” (I remember a pencil holder I made for my sister that was in the shape of an alien… the pencils were his antennae), but the point is they were personal, and they showed I had taken the time to make them for the person.
Say “no” to at least 2 activities this holiday season that simply feel like too much, no matter how much social pressure might be put upon you. The problem with the holidays is that we get caught up in the flurry of activity and we think we “must” participate in everything that pops up. It’s simply not true.
Regardless of anything else, remember to consume lots of water. The simple fact is, most of us tend to be dehydrated. General “word on the street” is that we need 2 litres a day, but actually if we are carrying a few extra pounds, we need more than that. If you smoke, even more. AND remember, caffeinated beverages (and alcohol) are actually dehydrating to the system, so don’t think that 10 cups of coffee a day will give you your daily requirement of water. Water is necessary for keeping our cells healthy, and it also helps to flush out toxins in the body. Without enough water, we become a breeding ground for all kinds of lovelies to find a nice home in our bodies. It’s one of the cheapest and easiest ways to ensure better health and energy levels, but so many people forget to drink water.

STEP 2: Increase your natural defences
Boost your natural immune system with products like Echinacea, Aloe Vera, bee pollen, elderberry syrup and Vitamin C. If you don’t do this during other times of the year, at least do it during the winter months (Echinacea should only be taken for a few months at a time anyway). But do remember that these are only supplements, not cure-alls, and they will have a lessened effect if your diet is poor and you keep pushing yourself too hard. So it’s absolutely pointless to think that these will “bail you out” if you are still driving yourself to your limits.

STEP 3: Learn how to surrender!
Ok, so here’s where I take my “mommie” hat off and put my life coach hat back on.

No matter how diligently we look after ourselves, sometimes we fall ill. And if that’s the case, don’t fight it, SURRENDER to it! It does you absolutely no good at all to push yourself like a martyr, wallow in feelings of guilt or (worse) try to recover too quickly. When I had the swine flu back in September, it took me a whole month to regain my energy fully, and believe me, every time I tried to push it, my body told me to knock it off.

I can’t tell you how many of my clients push themselves to the brink and then wonder why they are ill or unhappy. STOP it right now! The world NEEDS you, and it needs you in one, whole, healthy piece.

Remember:

It doesn’t matter if the people at work grumble and complain that you are off sick. They’ll also get ill some day and take their turn off work soon enough.
Your family will not abandon you if you don’t make Christmas dinner this year. It will be a great opportunity for someone else to learn how to cook.
The world will not end if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. That’s what store vouchers are for.
Your business will not end if you miss a few days on Twitter (hmmm… look who’s calling the kettle black, here?).

TODAY’S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Seasonal Illness into Joy
So here’s my “Joy Formula” for dealing with seasonal illnesses this year, if you do happen to fall ill this holiday season:

HOP INTO BED with a hot water bottle on your feet, a cuddly toy on your pillow, a smile on your face, and just sleep as much as you want.
ASK OTHER PEOPLE to do favours for you. If you live alone, call friends up and ask them to shop for you. You will be amazed how many people will come out of the woodwork to help when you ask for it.
THANK THE UNIVERSE for sending you the illness, and take it as your “permission slip” to take TIME OUT. See the sickness as a message that your body needs “down time” and just take it.
UNPLUG YOUR PC and forget about emails. And when you get well, unsubscribe to 50% of your mailing lists (well… except my blog, of course).
REST AND READ all those books next to your nightstand you haven’t had time to read because you’ve been too busy. Maybe my book The Garden of the Soul is one of them? If not, I recommend it highly.

In the next instalment of my “Holiday Survival Guide” I’ll be talking about how to beat the blues of Family Dramas during the Holiday Season (yikes!).

That’s coming this weekend. Just sign up on the box at the right to be sure you receive it.

Like this article? Share it with others… AND be sure to leave your comments and your OWN holiday survival tips below.

Every Day is Halloween – what does your costume say about you?

Lynn Serafinn — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:12:35 +0000

As a child growing up in the 50s and 60s in the US, I loved Halloween. Apart from the fun of dressing up and going out for trick-or-treat, it was also my father’s birthday (he would have been 90 years old today if he were still alive), so my mother always bought a really fancy bakery cake every Halloween in honour of Dad’s birthday. After many years of having the same type of cake year in and year out—orange and chocolate layer cakes smothered with sugar jack-o-lanterns, black cats and witches—he finally rebelled and asked to have a “normal” birthday cake instead. But as far as I was concerned, I loved the fun of my father’s Halloween birthday cakes every year.

Apart from being the one day of the year where parents surrender all attempts to keep their children on a healthy diet, Halloween is also the day where we, both children and adults, get to dress up and make believe we are someone or something else for a day. What we choose could be our alter ego, our wildest fantasy or our scariest nightmare. I believe we can often learn a lot about ourselves by looking back at what we wanted to be on Halloween when we were children.

What do our Halloween costumes reveal?

I remember the very first Halloween outfit that I selected for myself when I was about 4 years old. My mother took me to the shop to look at costumes. She suggested a very pretty “Fairy Princess” costume, which was a long pastel pink and white dress with lace and ruffles, accessorised with a sparkly crown. While I liked the sparkly crown, the frilliness and the colour of the dress didn’t appeal to me. Instead, I opted for the “Gypsy Princess” costume. The colours were vivid—strips of emerald green, rich magenta, bright gold and deep purple fabric layered atop a flowing black taffeta skirt. The top was a white peasant blouse and instead of a crown, it had a brightly printed headscarf and big dangly “jewellery”. It was not at all “frilly”, and seemed exotic to me. I loved to dance and spin around and around in it, watching the skirt fly in billowy circles around me.

So, fifty years on, what can I understand about myself when I look back at this? I can see that even from a very early age I was showing my natural inclination towards the arty and bohemian side of life. And years later, I indeed would become a musician and a writer, with a tendency to move from place to place every few years (my father always called me a gypsy). While I do consider myself to be extremely feminine, I was never what you would call a “girlie girl”, and to this day I simply cannot wear pastels!

What were some of the Halloween (or other fancy dress) costumes you chose for yourself when you were a child? Don’t worry if they were scary ghosts or monsters. Maybe these characters were helping you express your natural sense of humour and fun, or maybe they were expressions of your inner courage in the face of fear. Maybe your costume expressed a hidden side of you that was not able to express itself any other way. Or maybe, your mom or dad picked out your costume for you and it didn’t express you at all! Even if that was the case, it can tell us a lot about the history of our self-expression.

What can our childhood make-believe tells us about ourselves?

Halloween is not the only time we make believe as children, of course. How many of us had favourite characters we pretended to be when we played either alone or with others? In my book The Garden of the Soul, I share one of my make-believe characters—a talking parrot named Polly who was the navigator of a space ship, taking human beings on journeys through the Milky Way. In other games, we would sometimes play “school” and I would be the teacher. Other times, we played “church” and I would be the priest. So what else can I learn about my natural personality from my childhood make-believe? Looking back, I can see that I was expressing my natural eccentricity (I was a parrot and not a human being!) and my love for exploration. I could see I was becoming the navigator—the one who would lead others to new things. I was revealing my inclination towards being an explorer, a traveller, a teacher and even a spiritual guide. There is so much we can learn about ourselves when we look back at how we played as children.

Take a moment to think back to your own childhood. What “make-believe” characters and personalities did you naturally step into? To what degree were they expressions of who you really were inside, or who you wished (or knew) you would become? What did these characters say about you at your core? What values or qualities did these characters reveal about you? Were you a super hero fighting for justice? A spy who loved risk and intrigue? A time traveller fascinated by the past or the future? A space traveller curious about what makes the Universe tick? A pirate seeking adventure or treasure? A mommy or daddy expressing family values and love?

The roles we play as adults

As children, making believe is an important tool to help us discover, explore and express who we are. But unfortunately, when many of us grow up, we continue to take on “costumes” and “masks” in our in our family, social group or work environment that, rather than express who we are, limit our authentic expression and natural personality. We take on “roles” where we “play” a certain part in our daily dramas. Examples of roles might be “the good girl”, “the wounded one”, “the sensible one” or “the peace maker”. And there are so many more besides these. Just like putting on a Halloween costume or making believe, when we step into these roles, we “become” them, and often find ourselves restricted and frustrated as a result. For instance, if you have taken on the role of the “peace maker” in your family or your workplace, you might find yourself without a voice, as you are continually trying to balance the imbalances of others around you. The irony is that you yourself might never feel peaceful, and your efforts might actually create more unrest and lack of connection in your environment. If you take on the role of “the wounded one”, you might find it difficult to become independent because you might come to believe that you need the continual support of other people or things in order to feel safe. The irony of course is that this neediness can in fact end up pushing away the very support you believe you need, only reinforcing your feelings of being “wounded”.

When we put on a Halloween costume or making believe, we know we are “playing”. But unfortunately, many of us are unaware of the roles we play as adults. We intuitively sense that something is not quite right but we cannot put our finger on it. Our roles can be difficult to recognise if we have been stuck in them since childhood and we don’t know any differently. One of the first things I help clients see when they come to me for coaching are these unconscious roles or scripts they might be playing our in their heads, that are making their lives unfulfilling in one way or another. Somewhat playfully, I call these roles and scripts “monsters”, and I teach clients how to recognise and shift the monsters both in one-to-one coaching and in my course “Making Friends with the Monsters Under Your Bed”. The good news is that over time, it is possible to become conscious of the unconscious roles we play; and as we bring them into our awareness, we can move away from feeling trapped by them, and towards being able to choose whether or not we wish to continue wearing these “costumes” if we feel they are not serving our greater good.

Taking off the masks

People sometimes ask what I mean by the term “personal transformation”. Basically it simply means bringing what was once in the darkness (unconscious and unaware) into the light (conscious and aware). When we bring our shadow into the light of awareness, we step into the person we really are, and cease playing roles that do not reflect the light of our inner Self.

While personal transformation is essential for our Self actualisation and ultimate happiness, it does come with a caveat. It is important to understand that if our role is something we tend to “default” to in our family, social or work situations, chances are many other members in that scenario are also playing their own roles, without awareness of the fact they are doing so. And if you suddenly become aware and step out of your “assigned” role, it can really rock the boat! Imagine that everyone in your life is on stage in a play. You have a part to play and you have played it for years. Then suddenly, you start reading the lines of the hero, when you are “supposed” to be playing the villain, or the servant or the milkman. Of course, the whole cast would become confused wondering who they are supposed to “play” now. All hell would break loose on stage!

When you decide to take off your mask in life, a similar scenario might take place if the people around you are not at a similar level of conscious evolution as you are. In other words, your shifting away from your previously unconscious, disempowering roles can frequently confuse and even anger your family, friends and work colleagues. With time, most will adjust, but occasionally people cannot or will not adjust to the new “you” (which is actually the “true you”) and you might actually “lose” people along the way, or at the very least be the recipient of their judgments and criticism. While this is a necessary risk we must take in the name of finding fulfilment, the thought of the ramifications of that risk can sometimes be really scary. For many of us, lack of awareness coupled by the fear of losing money, job, friends or family are the primary reasons why we stay stuck playing the roles we privately hate the most.

Transformation takes self-awareness, courage and self-honesty. But even more, it takes self-love and commitment to your own wellbeing. In order to step out of the costumes that do not reflect who you really are, you must be willing to remain steadfast in your commitment to your own happiness during the process of transition, even if it means risking a period of unsettledness in your relationships or lifestyle. This risk is essential before you can step into your true “costume”—where you are the hero of your own life.

Stepping into your superhero costume

Those of you who follow my work know that it is my firm belief that every human being is born the “hero” of his/her own life. And it is my belief that when you finally step into your Authentic Self, whatever that might be, you become a genuine superhero, and that this “costume” is the only one that is meant for you.

How do you know you have finally stepped into your superhero costume? It has nothing to do with saving the world or leaping over tall buildings. When you feel inwardly empowered, natural and free, you are the superhero. When you genuinely feel seen and heard, you are the superhero. When you feel connected to Self, other and the Universe, you are the superhero. When you are smiling and having FUN, you are the superhero.

In short, when you know you are being YOU, you are the superhero. And as you know, a real superhero is capable of great things.

Every day, I express my gratitude for being able to live a life that is in alignment with the person I know I was born to be. I have finally thrown away the countless costumes of the past that did not serve me, and I now wear one costume—the ME costume! And you know what? The “ME” costume still contains elements of that bold, colourful, dancing Gypsy Princess and the Polly the Space Navigator Parrot. In all I do, I express that same freedom and creativity that I knew was my Authentic Self when I was a child. But of course the “ME costume is so much greater than that. And make no mistake—your “YOU” costume is truly a coat of unlimited colours.

So this Halloween, as you don your holiday costume, or next week when you return to work, and step into your default role at your job, ask yourself how well these costumes express your innermost being. And if the answer is “Not very well”, perhaps it is time to explore a different fancy dress shop, and try on some new costumes for a change. But if the answer is “Yes, completely!” you just might be living the life of a superhero.

May you step into your YOU costume, and your every day be Halloween, filled with treats.

Lynn Serafinn
31 Oct 2009

P.S.: The title of this article is taken from one of my FAVOURITE songs by Ministry, which really reflects the whole idea of what we see/show of ourselves to others. Hear the track on my Blip.FM page at: http://blip.fm/~fo6cr Have fun!

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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self.

Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone. If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a FR*EE no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk/free_consultation_request.html

31 Oct 2009

Every Day is Halloween

What do our Halloween costumes reveal?

What can our childhood make-believe tells us about ourselves?

The roles we play as adults

Taking off the masks

Stepping into your superhero costume

In short, when you know you are being YOU, you are the superhero. And as you know, a real superhero is capable of great things.

May you step into your YOU costume, and your every day be Halloween, filled with treats.

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC is a transformation coach, speaker, radio host and author of the bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Lynn coaches clients from all over the world via telephone.

If you would like to discover and unleash your inner hero, call Lynn for a free no obligation coaching consultation at 0845 880 28 25 during normal business hours, or fill in a consultation request form at www.create-a-life.co.uk/consultation_request.html.

Truly Connected to the Earth-stunning video

Lynn Serafinn — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:26:09 +0000

Rarely do I feel moved enough by a video to put it on my blog, but this one was so captivating and moving that I simply had to. It is a pictorial journal by Hans Silvester, who photographed the people of the Omo River in Ethiopia. They treat their bodies as artists’ canvases, clearly expressing their feelings of connection to and love for Nature. Take a few minutes to be amazed at the stunning beauty and complexity of the artwork, the intense emotion that comes through their expressiveness, and the sheer freedom you feel as you watch a whole culture of people letting go of inhibitions and ego and simply expressing the Art of Creation itself. If you happen to have read my book The Garden of the Soul, the Omo people are the perfect expression of the “Principle of Giving”, which is the unfettered outward expression of the Authentic Self. Surely we could all learn a lot about our real relationship with the Earth by meditating upon these jaw-droppingly beautiful images. Enjoy this!

And many thanks to Urus Fret of Norway (a member of the Garden of the Soul social network) for sharing this wonderful video.

Mercury – rising, retrograde or runaway?

Lynn Serafinn — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:39:45 +0000

…a completely random blog post that has nothing whatsoever to do with work, business or anything serious…

Well, Mercury is back to his old tricks again.

Do any of you remember back in February when there were so many problems on the Internet? Those of you who are on Twitter might remember when it went crazy for a few days. Well, as it turns out, the planet Mercury was in retrograde back then (retrograde meaning the time when it appears to be moving backwards from our vantage point on Earth). It seems to be a widely accepted explanation that when things like this happen in cyberspace, poor Mercury frequently gets the blame, especially if it is retrograde. In fact, every time I hear someone going through some sort of communication breakdown, I also hear people asking, “Is Mercury in retrograde again?”

So is there anything to this Mercury stuff, or is it all a story we use to explain away our own frustrations with technology?

Well, this morning I woke up and my coaching website was completely GONE! No website, no email, nadda. I had arranged to have it transferred to a new host, but somehow it got pointed to the wrong nameserver. It took a few hours to sort that out, and when I did, my website was still not online. I couldn’t get through to customer support for the longest time. Then, when I finally did, my cordless phone started to beep and it went dead just as the tech support guy told me the very last thing I needed to know in order to get everything fixed. He told me that my current hosting package was not compatible with the format of my old site, so I ended up having to buy a whole new hosting plan. This meant I had to upload all my files to a new area, which took hours to do. The site was finally restored around 8pm. after about 10 hours of confusion.

In between trying to sort all that out, I was also trying to send out a newsletter via my autoresponder. But for some inexplicable reason, my email delivery programme wouldn’t save anything, and it kept wiping out my newsletter every time I tried to send it. This went on for hours. My newsletter eventually got sent out around 3pm, whereas it should have gone out at 9am.

Hmm… suspicious.

So after all that, I Googled “Mercury in Retrograde 2009” and sure enough, I found out that Mercury went back into retrograde YESTERDAY, and he won’t be turning back around until 29 September.

The coincidence felt pretty convincing, I have to say, but I was still curious to find out more. So I thought I’d have a look at my own astrological birth chart to find out more about the planet’s influence.

In astrology, Mercury is the “ruler” of communications. Hence, it is logical that Mercury is also the “ruler” of our interpersonal communication via the Internet. Mercury is also traditionally known as the “messenger” of the Greek gods, because he transits the most quickly of all the planets across the skies (being the closest to the Sun). He is believed to race through the ether literally at the speed of thought, and thus is able to carry celestial and cerebral messages without the limitations of time and space. This is why, in addition to verbal communication, Mercury is also the ruler of mental swiftness, intellectual abilities and intuition.

In my chart, Mercury is in my 7^th House, which, according to my horoscope programme, means that my chief asset is my “ability to establish contact with other people and communicate with them.” It also says that I am “simply curious about the minds of other people and interested in their thoughts and how they function.” Well, heck, that is absolutely true. My teaching, my coaching, my workshops, my writing (hmm… my Twittering and blogging…) all of these things express my ability to contact and communicate. I think that is why I can have so much fun online, whereas a lot of other professionals I know find it draining.

I kept reading my chart to find out more about Mercury’s influence in my life.

My Mercury is in the same sign as my Sun (Aquarius), which means that I am “a clear thinking person, very open to new and exciting ideas” and that I am possibly “connected with awareness and consciousness” in my professional life.

Wow! That is completely true. I always looking for new and exciting ideas, and everything I do has to do with awareness and consciousness. In fact, the workshop series I am delivering over the coming year (more about these another day) are all aimed at cultivating awareness and consciousness of both Self and environment.

Lastly, I thought I’d look up one more aspect, and found that Mercury had a very strong “trine” (90 degree angle) with Neptune. My programme said that this means:

“You have a very refined mental sensitivity which may be expressed through some form of imaginative and creative work. You possess a wonderful intuition, but formal learning and dry facts do not interest you. You can be quite a perfectionist and are very good at spotting mistakes and errors. You have a talent for creative communication – as a writer, in advertising or the media, or as a general part of your work.” (World of Wisdom, version WOWUSSP2000).

Again… wow indeed! I am a writer, I am in the media (I’m on the radio THREE times tomorrow, in fact), and I actually spend about half my life doing online promotion. Even when I was a musician, I was always the one in charge of communications and promotion. It comes naturally to me. And “dry facts”… puh-leez! I used to rebel in school when the teachers taught by rote. I cannot stand “memorising” things, and “facts” simply go out of my brain (I do still, however, remember birthdays and phone numbers from when I was a kid… go figure).

About the intuition thing, well that is something I have been cultivating more and more over the past few years. I continually reflect back and see how many times in life I underestimated my own intuition and more “mercurial” powers. I think Mercury has become an increasingly powerful paradigm in my life.

Reading all this led me to reflect upon my recent experiences at the One World Festival in Bath last month. When I wasn’t teaching a workshop myself, I was a participant in several interesting workshops. The two most mind-opening (and mind-blowing) were some “Rebirthing” sessions I did, and a short course in palmistry. The Rebirthing course is a whole other story, so I’ll leave for another day, but the palmistry course was a real eye-opener about the way the body mirrors the inner Self. Little did I know before I took the course that traditional palmistry is based upon the planets and their influences upon us.

AND… you guessed it… Mercury appears again in palmistry. The “pinkie” finger is traditionally called the “Mercury finger” (palmist Johnny Fencham calls it the “Antenna Digit” as it is all about picking up signals from the cosmos). The length of your Mercury finger reflects your intellectual and communication skills, and a collection of vertical lines running upwards beneath it can indicate tendency towards a “healing” profession. While this is a gross over-simplification of the many subtle aspects of this very intricate art, the point is that my own “Mercury Finger” is quite long, and has these “healing lines” beneath it. Again, another Mercury link.

So what is the answer? Is there really a link between my technological toys going crazy today, and Mercury changing its direction just a few hours earlier?

Well, at a completely intuitive level, I’m inclined to say yes.

But then again, being the “open minded” Aquarian that I am, I am ok with not needing a “logical” explanation, and I am fine with all of this not having to make any sense whatsoever. I find there is a beauty to seeing it all as some sort of delightfully random cosmic dance.

Of course, I am quite sure that this perspective might be very irritating to some of my more rational readers in cyberspace. And if that is the case, I think I’ll just blame it on Mercury for now.

…And if tomorrow I end up sending you a blog post that was really meant to go out last week, at least you’ll know why.

nnifareS nnyL–

P.S.:
Please be sure you catch my show “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul” tomorrow night at 6pm UK/1pm Eastern. My guest is the fabulous Jennifer Louden of Oprah fame. She’s going to tell us all how we can “Have a Blast While Changing the World”. If you miss the show, you can always download the podcast on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn